The 36 Questions That Can Lead to Love
Updated: Jul. 22, 2021This quiz from psychologist Arthur Aron has helped boost intimacy between thousands of strangers, resulting in friendship, romance, and even marriage.
Can you really fall in love with anyone?
In a 1997 SUNY Stony Brook study, psychologist Arthur Aron explored whether intimacy between two perfect strangers could be accelerated. What he came up with are the following 36 questions that lead to love.
Since Dr. Aron created the quiz, he’s even seen it rekindle romance in long-term relationships. “When you’re first in a romantic relationship, there’s an intense excitement. But then you grow used to each other,” Dr. Aron told Berkeley News. “If you do something new and challenging, that reminds you of how exciting it can be with your partner. It makes your relationship better.”
It should take about 45 minutes to get through all 36 questions, with each becoming increasingly personal and intense. Looking for something a little lighter? Then check out these funny love memes.
And if you feel you need more than 36 questions to fall in love, perhaps you’ll be more inspired by these classic love poems or romantic love quotes.
Question 3
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
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Question 5
Perhaps the first of the more intimate of these 36 questions to fall in love: When did you last sing to yourself? How about to someone else?
Question 8
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
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Question 11
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
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Question 14
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Question 15
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
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Question 19
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
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Question 20
Many romantic relationships start off as friendships. So, what does friendship mean to you?
Question 22
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
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Question 23
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
Question 24
We’re deep into the more intimate questions that lead to love now! How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
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Question 36
Last one: Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
And, with that, you’ve completed the 36 questions that can lead to love!
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Source:
- Berkeley News: Creating love in the lab: The 36 questions that spark intimacy