The 36 Questions That Can Make You Fall in Love with Anyone

Can you really fall in love with anyone?

In a 1997 SUNY Stony Brook study, psychologist Arthur Aron explored whether intimacy between two perfect strangers could be accelerated by having them ask each other 36 personal questions.

Since Dr. Aron created the quiz, he’s even seen it rekindle the romance in long-term relationships. “When you’re first in a romantic relationship, there’s an intense excitement, but then you grow used to each other,” Dr. Aron told Berkeley News. “If you do something new and challenging, that reminds you of how exciting it can be with your partner, it makes your relationship better.”

These 36 questions that lead to love take about 45 minutes to complete, with each becoming increasingly personal and intense. Dr. Aron and his wife Elaine, a psychologist who also studies love and relationships, have also used the quiz to bond with couple friends (platonically) over dinner dates. Also, read these adorable true stories of people falling in love.

Question 1

Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest? Here is a more in-depth story of Dr. Aron’s study. 

Question 2

Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Question 3

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Here are some questions that can make your relationships stronger.

Question 4

What would constitute a “perfect” day for you? These quotes perfectly capture what it’s like to fall in love.

Question 5

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Question 6

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Learn the surprising secrets of happily married couples.

Question 7

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Question 8

Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. Relationships are based on hope—check out these hopeful quotes that will lift you up.

Question 9

For what in your life do you feel most grateful? Make sure you also check out these quotes about gratitude.

Question 10

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Question 11

Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. While you’re thinking about your life, also check out these quotes about the meaning of life.

Question 12

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Of all the 36 questions that lead to love, this one is one of our favorites to think about!

Question 13

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know? Find out marriage advice from couples married over 50 years.

Question 14

Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Question 15

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Make sure you check out these inspirational quotes from accomplished women of history.

Question 16

What do you value most in a friendship?

Question 17

What is your most treasured memory?

Question 18

What is your most terrible memory?

Question 19

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why? Changing your life requires a lot of bravery, and maybe these inspirational quotes will be of help.

Question 20

What does friendship mean to you? These are 14 secrets that can make friendships really last forever.

Question 21

What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Question 22

Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. Keep indulging in romance with these 12 sweet and funny quotes about love.

Question 23

How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

Question 24

How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Here are 16 quotes about motherhood that will make you appreciate your mom even more.

Question 25

Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”

Question 26

Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …” Here’s some more happy marriage advice every couple should know.

Question 27

If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

Question 28

Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

Question 29

Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Question 30

When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? Then make sure to check out these quotes about sunshine that remind you to look at the bright side of any sorrowful event.

Question 31

Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

Question 32

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? Then check out these 25 clever jokes to get a good laugh.

Question 33

If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

Question 34

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why? Listen to this marriage advice from divorced people.

Question 35

Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

Question 36

Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen. If you’ve enjoyed working through these 36 questions that lead to love, then be sure to check out these expert-backed relationship tips to get the love you want.