13 Etiquette Tips for Getting Along with a Cheap Friend

Talk about money

The absolute worst time to bring up finances? When the waiter is handing you the check. The secret to surviving any relationship with a money mismatch is early, clear communication. “Kind, calm, clear communication ahead of time can help avoid misunderstandings,” Hayes says. “This avoids assumptions about spending habits, prevents conflict and promotes financial empathy.”

It sounds so simple, but money is one of those hot-button topics so many of us avoid. But if you know money tends to cause friction in your friendship, you need to discuss it. Have a low-pressure conversation before your next outing. Try: “Hey, I’ve noticed we approach money a little differently. Can we figure out a plan that works for both of us?”

Be honest and clear—no dancing around the topic, hoping they’ll figure out what you mean. If you’re planning a pricey dinner, say so. If you can’t afford the annual girls’ getaway, say that too. Being honest and upfront saves everyone awkwardness or hurt feelings later.

Let them make the plans sometimes

If your friend is on a budget, do everyone a favor and let them plan the event every once in a while. You might end up skipping the $19 smoothie bowl in favor of a free museum day, backyard movie night or “picnic potluck” where everyone brings chips and pretends it’s curated.

“Rather than having to navigate spending conflicts or feeling awkward about it,” Hayes says, “let them make plans that align with their budget.”

Bonus: You’ll avoid the awkwardness of inviting them to something they clearly can’t afford (and forcing them to fake a dentist appointment to get out of it). You might also end up doing super fun that you wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Recognize their intent

Before you write off your friend as a human buzzkill in clearance-rack shoes, pause. According to Hayes, a frugal friend is someone who’s “wise with the pennies” but still operates with generosity and kindness. A cheap friend? They’re often just thinking about themselves (and their wallet).

So look at the intent behind their behavior. Did they skip the group brunch but still show up later with homemade sangria and board games? That’s frugal with heart. But if you’re noticing patterns like never tipping, dodging every group gift or always choosing the cheapest option for everyone, those might be signs of cheap friends, not just thrifty ones.

Recognizing the spirit behind their habits helps you stay empathetic instead of getting annoyed. Not every budget-conscious move is about you. Sometimes it’s just about coupons.

Don’t take it personally

You ordered the ribeye with truffle fries. They ordered a Caesar side salad and asked for the free bread. When they decline to split the bill evenly, it can sting. But as Hayes explains, “cheap or frugal people tend to watch every dollar, while others operate with a more relaxed attitude to exact dollars and cents.” It’s not a personal attack; it’s a personal finance strategy.

So let them pay their way. You’ll avoid resentment and keep your friendship off the financial rocks. And regardless of whether your cheap friend is being budget-conscious or stingy, at the end of the day, is it really worth losing a friend over $15 and some fancy fries?

Be clear and sincere when you’re treating

Want to try that fancy tasting menu but know your friend’s budget maxes out at snack-bar adjacent? It’s totally fine to offer to treat them … but only if you’re genuinely OK with covering the entire cost. “If you’ve offered to ‘treat’ them ahead of time, the onus is on you to follow through,” Hayes says. “The other person may offer to pay for dessert or something, but don’t go into it expecting it.”

This means no guilt-tripping or sly Venmo requests. If you make the invite, be gracious.

Don’t expect them to repay generosity in the same way

Just because you covered brunch, it doesn’t mean they’ll treat you next time—and that’s not necessarily rude. “A frugal person may reciprocate generosity in other ways,” says Hayes. Maybe they’ll send a thoughtful thank-you card or invite you over for a home-cooked meal. Accept these gestures for what they are: signs they care, even if they show it in nonfinancial ways.

Suggest sharing an entree at a restaurant

If your friend is hesitant to dine out but you’re both craving something fancier than cereal, suggest a compromise like splitting a meal, Hayes says. It’s cost-effective and socially acceptable, especially if the dish comes with a side of fries. (Fries are friendship currency.)

Just be cool about it. Don’t say, “Let’s split because I know you don’t want to spend much.” Instead, try something like, “Want to split the pad thai and save room for dessert?” Now it’s a bonding moment, not a budgeting one, she says.

Bonus: Less food waste, fewer decisions and (seriously) more room for dessert.

Give them space to say no

You might be totally down for a $300 girls’ weekend complete with matching pajamas and artisanal coffee. Your friend? Not so much. Give them the time and space to consider their budget without jumping in with “It’s only money!” (Spoiler: It’s never only money.) And if they decline, respect the “no” without commentary, guilt trips or dramatic sighs.

Saying no, especially to people you care about, can feel really tricky, but “wise people know when and how to say no,” Hayes says. Setting boundaries with friends—especially around money—can be awkward at first, but it’s a lot better than letting quiet resentment build up between rounds of overpriced cocktails. You can always offer a budget-friendly alternative (“Want to do a Target run and vent about our lives instead?”), but don’t pressure them to come or guilt-trip them for opting out. The goal is connection, not conversion.

Stop assuming they’re judging your spending

It’s easy to assume your cheap friend is silently calculating the cost of your handbag or eyeing your third cocktail as if it personally offends their checking account. Suddenly, you’re replaying the entire interaction in your head, constructing a full-blown imaginary argument—complete with dramatic hand gestures—while they’re just wondering if they left the stove on. These thoughts fast-track you to resentment, which then turns into a vicious cycle.

But the truth is, it’s more likely that they’re just managing their own budget. Hayes points out that people operate with wildly different “money mantras” (their principles about money), even when they’re in the same income bracket. Don’t let assumed criticism create a divide that doesn’t actually exist.

Choose plans that work for both of you

You don’t have to downgrade every outing to free samples at Costco (although that’s not a terrible idea for a hangout sesh), but compromise goes a long way, Hayes says. Dealing with frugal friends doesn’t mean giving up what you enjoy; it just means finding creative ways to meet in the middle without draining anyone’s bank account. For example, maybe one weekend a month you agree to splurge, but the rest of the time you choose things more in line with their budget.

Another option is to keep the activity but find middle-ground alternatives. Swap that $200 concert for a local cover band in the park, or do a spa day at home with DIY facials and $8 sheet masks instead of dropping your rent at a luxury resort.

The more you show that you respect their financial comfort zone, the more relaxed—and fun—it will be for everyone. After all, it’s hard to make memories when one of you is mentally calculating overdraft fees.

Be mindful about group gifts

If your friend quietly bows out of the $60-per-person group gift, don’t make a thing of it. Better yet, normalize flexibility. Tell the group, “Suggested donation is $60, but give whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Most friendship groups graciously accept what someone is able to contribute,” says Hayes. If they choose to contribute less or to not join in at all, that’s OK too. They’re not being selfish; they’re being realistic. And you’ll preserve your friendship by not putting them on the spot.

It’s also worth rethinking your whole group gifting culture. Do birthdays really require luxury candles and balloon arches? You never know who’s quietly struggling with money, and chances are, other people will be relieved to skip the pressure too.

Turn pricey occasions into gifts

If it’s your birthday and you know your friend can’t swing dinner and a gift and an Uber and a babysitter, help them out. “Hey, your presence is my present!” might sound cheesy, but it’s also a kind gesture that lowers the pressure.

Hayes recommends offering clarity up front: “I’d love for you to join, and don’t worry about a gift. Just come!” That way, your friend doesn’t have to awkwardly show up empty-handed or sit it out entirely. And truthfully, memories last longer than monogrammed hand towels anyway.

Remember that culture and generation play a role too

What feels stingy to you might be totally normal—or even respectful—to someone with a different background than you. “Many Asian cultures are particularly frugal,” Hayes says. “And baby boomers tend to be more budget conscious than younger generations.” So before you roll your eyes when your friend reuses a teabag or wraps your birthday gift in an old shopping bag, take a breath.

Cultural differences

In East Asian cultures, thriftiness and saving are prized, while extravagant spending can be seen as careless and wasteful instead of generous, especially among older generations. In Japan, for example, mottainai is the concept of avoiding waste and using resources mindfully.

Similarly, certain northern European cultures frown on conspicuous consumption. For example, Janteloven in Denmark and Norway discourages any behavior that makes someone seem superior to others. Generosity is shown through equality and shared experiences rather than flashy gifts.

In other cultures, including many parts of the Middle East, South Asia and Latin America, haggling is practically a national sport. So a friend who negotiates everything from their cable bill to the price of a flea-market candle isn’t being cheap; they’re just operating in a cultural framework where getting the best deal is expected, respected and sometimes even fun.

Generational differences

Generations matter too, especially when it comes to their money mantras, Hayes says. Your Gen Z friend might drop $80 on crystals but panic over a $10 brunch tip. Meanwhile, your Boomer buddy still uses coupons with expiration dates from the Bush administration.

The bottom line is that different backgrounds mean different money norms. It’s not always about being cheap—it’s about lived experience. So if you and your friend come from different backgrounds, try to see their choices through a wider lens. It’s not always about the money; it’s about perspective.

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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece on getting along with a cheap friend, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.

Source:

• Jo Hayes, etiquette expert and founder of EtiquetteExpert.org; email interview, Sept. 11, 2025