26 Things Your Mother-in-Law Is Secretly Thinking

Build a better relationship with his mother by remembering these things she'd like to say but won't (you hope!)

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It hurts to be downsized

It hurts to be downsizediStock/Neustockimages
I spent a couple of decades being the leading lady; now I have a character role.

I know he's your husband now

I know he's your husband nowiStock/standret
But he’s still my son.

You don't seem very confident about yourself

You don't seem very confident about yourselfiStock/TatyanaGl
The littlest comment from me is taken as a criticism, so I’m very careful what I say around you.

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A little gratitude wouldn't hurt

A little gratitude wouldn't hurtiStock/Melpomenem
Every year, I send you a birthday present, but you never even pick up the phone to thank me. This year, I said, “That’s it. No more.” Yet look at me: I’m about to send another present. I guess that’s how I am.

I want the best for both of us

I want the best for both of usiStock/Steve Debenport
We mothers say to our children, “I want you to be happy.” And we mean that. What we don’t say is, “But I would like to be happy too.”

I know a little something

I know a little somethingiStock/Drazen Lovric
I’ve bought and sold 13 houses in my life. Why won’t you ask for my advice?

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When I visit you, I'm just coming to see the family

When I visit you, I'm just coming to see the familyiStock/skynesher
I’m not coming for a "white-glove inspection.”

I've got his number

I've got his numberiStock/laflor
When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don’t call your house. I call his cell phone.

I'm truly appreciative

I'm truly appreciativeiStock/PeopleImages
I’m so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me on Mother’s Day. It’s a long trip and a big expense.

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I have a dirty little secret

I have a dirty little secretiStock/kupicoo
I’m afraid that if I don’t get this right, you’ll cut me off.

I'm in competition with your mother

I'm in competition with your motheriStock/Susan Chiang
She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can’t afford. All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that’s enough and that it’s appreciated.

I'm lucky to have you!

I'm lucky to have you!iStock/Dean Mitchell
Whenever I stay at your house, you always have my room ready, my towels, everything. You do all the right things.

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You know me well

You know me welliStock/PeopleImages
I cherish the refrigerator magnet you gave me: “Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.”  

You don't have to call me Mom

You don't have to call me MomiStock/Michal Krakowiak
But it would be nice if you did.

I really want to make you happy

I really want to make you happyiStock/&#169 Giorgio Fochesato
If you hate that green sweater I bought you, please, please tell me.

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Thank you for making my child so happy

Thank you for making my child so happyiStock/Geber86
If I haven't told you that very much, it's because I'm afraid you'll think I'm sucking up.

I desperately want to ask you:

I desperately want to ask you:iStock/tamaravidmar
When are you going to have children?

I so wish I could talk to you about it

I so wish I could talk to you about itiStock/Predrag Vuckovic
Sometimes I watch you making choices that I so fear will lead you to difficulty. But I bite my tongue.

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I'm aware that my time on this earth is growing shorter

I'm aware that my time on this earth is growing shorteriStock/Willie B. Thomas
I want to spend it positively. I don't want to waste it by fighting.

Talk to me

Talk to meiStock/michaeljung
If you think I can't give good advice because I don't have the full picture, well... paint it for me.

I really want to give my grandkids a gift now and then

I really want to give my grandkids a gift now and theniStock/monkeybusinessimages
But you forbid me to do it. That's painful.

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I want us to be closer

I want us to be closeriStock/HIghwaystarz-Photography
The last time I was at your house, you hardly even spoke to me. I can't understand why.

I thought you'd be thrilled to have me as your mother-in-law

I thought you'd be thrilled to have me as your mother-in-lawiStock/Wavebreakmedia
I thought that you'd think, Wow, I'm so lucky! It kills me that you don't.

Some mothers-in-law will say anything

Some mothers-in-law will say anythingiStock/laflor
I try not to. It's not wanted, appreciated, or believed.

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When I call you on the phone at 8 in the morning on a Saturday...

When I call you on the phone at 8 in the morning on a Saturday...iStock/vgajic
I hope you're not secretly saying, "Damn. Why is she calling here so early?"

I've actually led a rich, interesting, complicated life

I've actually led a rich, interesting, complicated lifeiStock/wundervisuals
I wish you'd see me that way. I feel a little resentful that suddenly my whole life is seen through the prism of "the mother-in-law." Sources: Susan Abel Lieberman, PhD (The Mother-in-Law’s Manual), Jane Angelich (What’s a Mother [in-Law] to Do?), and anonymous mothers-in-law in four states.

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287 thoughts on “26 Things Your Mother-in-Law Is Secretly Thinking

  1. I am very lucky I don’t have any issues like these with any of my three DIL’s. In fact they usually call me and stay in touch with me more than my sons do! I don’t feel any sense of competition for my “baby boys”. Quite the opposite, I am delighted to know that they are now in good hands. My job here is done, and I’ve passed the baton. I’m glad to know they are with somebody who has their back, and makes sure they get their checkups, go to the dentist and eat healthy meals. They have somebody else to put her foot down and refuse to let them get a motorcycle or go skydiving (they wouldn’t listen to me anyway.) So bring on the DIL’s. They can be – and SHOULD be – a mother’s best friend!

  2. this is pretty one sided.. i call my MIL to thank her for everything, Im always respectful and include her in even my family events.. none of that stops her from trying to take over and baby my husband now more than she ever has in his entire life! And i know b/c we were friends first, dated for 9 yr, and have been married for 3. All of a sudden SHE wants to throw his bday party, SHE wants to bake heart shaped cakes for Valentines day, etc.. seriously? it would be one thing if that had always been her, but this is new behavior

  3. you have “my room, my towels” when I visit. Um, most people call that a guest bedroom. Settle down with implying ownership at someone else’s house, lady.

  4. I feel sorry for the selfish and sad MIL who wrote these terrible 13 things, because pretty much all of these are incredibly selfish. Yes, of course he’s still your son. That could never even be an argument. You’ve bought and sold 13 houses? Congratulations, ole’ house flipper. But the one about sending the gift when you never receive a thank you? Could that even be real? When my MIL gives me a gift, I say thank you immediately! And vice versa when I give her a gift – that’s just common courtesy. Truly, I hope my MIL doesn’t think these things. I don’t ever want to give her a reason to think them. I think she is a kind and wonderful person and not insecure and selfish the way many of these statements imply. I feel very lucky and happy to have her in my life. Parents-in-law are a big part of the marriage deal, and my marriage wouldn’t be a happy one if there wasn’t shared love and respect with them.

  5. What kind of utter nonsense is this?!!?! This article describes the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship as if it were exclusively populated by the most immature, egocentric morons on the planet – the type of people who appear on reality TV shows. All of the MIL/DIL relationships I know are much, much more functional than this nonsense.

  6. As a DIL I would like to chime in. My MIL prefers her daughter and her children and it really hurts me and my husband. I reach out to her EVERY week to do things and to know us and the kids. She is copying what her mother did to her son (my husband’s uncle). We don’t have much hope as my husband doesn’t want to confront and I need to respect that. I just would like to point out that there are DILs who want to know their MILs out there. One more example: I asked MIL to come over on Mother’s Day. Her response-“You’re not my daughter.” Thanks for the reminder, Mom! Love ya!

  7. 1. You were his “leading lady?” Really? Did your adult son tell you that? As a mother myself, that’s kinda creepy.
    2. And? He’s also someone’s brother, and best friend and co worker and employee, in addition to being your son, and your husband’s son. What’s your point? my existence negates none of that.
    3. Oh, you’re worried about my confidence? This from the woman who just felt the need to point out that she used to be his “Leading Lady,” later bemoans that I don’t ask your advice and the DUH inducing “he’s still me son.” If you don’t want to be seen as critical, then stop jockeying with me for rank and keep your commentary about my life to yourself.
    4. I always say thank you. If some DIL out there doesn’t, stop giving her gifts and don’t be a victim-martyr about it.
    5. Go right ahead. You should. Am I somehow stopping you?
    6. Because I don’t frigging want it and may not need it. And, evidently, your son doesn’t either, or HE would be asking you for your opinion. Why does MY asking your opinion matter so much, Ms. “you don’t seem very confident’?
    7. OK. And I’m supposed to know this because “I was HIS Leading Lady” isn’t at all competitive and it’s on a list of things you aren’t telling me???
    8. Good for you. I have that number, too…it works great. What’s your point?
    9. OMG the martyrdom. I’m his wife, not his warden. I don’t “allow” him to do anything, especially relating to you. He’s a big boy now.
    10. Stop seeing this as a to-the-death competition for his affection, and we won’t have problems. Also, he would have to participate were we to cut you off…I don’t have the power to do that unilaterally. Just sayin’.
    11. Only because you choose to be. That’s a game you invented, btw.
    12. Ok. Thanks for the SUPER SINCERE kudos. I appreciate it. Why is this on the list of stuff you WON’T tell me, especially since you’re so darn worried about not being welcome in our lives?

  8. #4 – In Laws don’t remember any of their kids’ spouses birthdays or the grandchildren of some of their kids (they play favorites). Heck my husband is lucky if he is remembered.

  9. This article feels like one specific woman wrote it for her own DIL. And that one woman has a lot of mommy baggage. Every MIL in my life–mine as well as my brothers’ and friends’–is kind and loving. They relish their “daughters by choice” and flourish in their true second half of life role: grandmother.

  10. Here are 13 things I wish I could tell my mother in-law…

    1) I would ask for your advise if you weren’t so willing to cram it down the throats of me and my husband. Age and wisdom don’t always go hand-in-hand. “Advising” me on how to arrange the dishes in my cupboard is only a small example of the advise you just love to dispense to me when I haven’t asked.

    2) You have no idea that I’ve encouraged your son to visit you on Mother’s Day and to spend more quality, one-on-one time with you. In fact, he thinks I’m a saint because of it. However, it’s your son who doesn’t want to be alone with you unless absolutely necessary and, therefore, skips that opportunity.

    3) Thank you for appreciating the fact that I try to have the bedroom looking nice when you visit. So, why then, do you complain about the color of the room? The type of mattress we have in the spare bedroom? The pillow we provided?

    4) I don’t care that you call my husband on his cell phone. And, I would LOVE to talk to you on the phone, if only you’d treat me with the same love and care that you show your son. (Instead of YOU doing all of the talking, try asking me about my own sick parents, the grandchildren and me.)

    5) You want me to thank you for the gifts you gave me? I have thanked you, but you act like I never thank you enough. And being thankful is a 2-way street. When I have given you gifts, you have “lost” them, given them away or never even opened them. When your son gives you a gift that you think HE picked out, suddenly, it’s the “best give I’ve ever received.”

    6) You think you have to walk on eggshells around me because you’re afraid I think your comments are meant to be critical? Then think about the types of comments you are making. If I said to you what you have said to me (“Your house actually looks clean this visit.” or “You have really weird friends. Can’t you find normal ones?”), you would probably never speak to me again.”

    7) I’m walking on eggshells when I talk to you because you’ve complained to your son about things I’ve said to you. But, when I’ve apologized, you tell me, “Oh…he blew that out of proportion.”

    8) Yes…he’s your son, but there is an intimacy that comes with marriage that you will never and should never share with him. I want you to have a close, loving relationship with my husband, but truth be told…YOU are your own worst enemy.

    9) When your son points out to you that you are being rude to me, instead of becoming defensive, please stop and hear him out. Then come to me and talk to me rather than blowing off the situation. (I’d come talk to you myself, but that hasn’t worked in the past.)

    10) Calling you by your first name doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. You didn’t birth me or raise me, so please don’t be offended that I don’t call you “mom.”
    11) Your other children and their spouses are comparing notes with us. Chances are, I’m not the only one in the family who has problems with you.
    12) Be careful what you say to other people about me and your son…it DOES get back to us.
    13) I LOVE your son and believe it or not, there is nothing I want more than to have a fabulous relationship with you. I know there are other daughters in-law out there who are evil and manipulative, but I’m not one of them.

  11. Oh my God yes alot of mother in laws can be and are. What you said but dont just asume take the time to find out befor you make that decision my mother in law is the most beautiful person she has been my mom from the time i was 18 till now i am 46 i was married for 24 yrs and was with my husband for 4 yrs. Befor marriage. So a long time she never left me abandoned even when he did after all those yrs she has stood by me i cant even begin to tell you all the support and love she has given me . I love her so.much she is dieing right now i will never forget the example of the woman she is god bless her i hope all of you have the blessing i have been given someday may god bless all of you.

  12. too bad about 75 percent of these are NOT true……mothers never let go of their sons…and they never believe his choice is the right one…..most are absolutey rude to their daughter inlaw

  13. I have a question for all you DILs. Does your dad not have some sort of relationship with his mom and dad? Did he walk away from his family. when he married your mother? Do you not have paternal grandparents?

    My boyfriend of many, many years is close to his stepmother. He’s the one that is always at the hospital when she is ill. I wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves his mom as he should. I would never dream of coming between them.

    For those of you who may say that we are not married, we have been together almost 25 years. We are married in our hearts.

  14. Yikes! I am a soon to be MIL and get along well with DIL to be. I struggled for years with my own MIL and vowed not to alienate my kids or their spouses. Life is too short, I am trying to keep my mouth shut and opinions to myself. Our kids are no more interested in our telling them what to do than we were at that age. Sure we made mistakes and struggled some, both of which made our now 30 year marriage better and even fun. Yeah, we even ALMOST got suckered into a time share.

  15. Me, I’m out the door!! Mines (MIL) that is, is a complete narcissist! No bullshit..the woman sends selfies to her son every other week! Calls him on the phone at the very least, TEN TIMES A DAY! I promise you…this is the God’s honest truth!

    I wish posting pictures was possible, so you can see for yourselves. Mother’s 60, son 35. She does not EVER call our children, ever! Only calls for him. He is totally enmeshed with his mother and see’s absolutely nothing wrong with a “mother” that would send selfies and call her son10 times a day!! Say “we’re just close” is all!

    No sweetheart, that’s beyond close! Your mother has crossed the line from son to “fantasy lover” in her mind. Very evident by the smirk (ugh!) in each and every photo! She absolutely despises me! Never said a kind word to me in 11 years! saw the grand kids twice in ten years! To that.. he says: “Oh, that just how she is.”

    Now that she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer..she sends selfies in various decline of her cancer..posing in an off-the-shoulder gown (an 80lb weight loss), without hair, in the hospital bed with her shirt pulled up over her bosom, showing where the ports that was inserted…ALL while grinning into the camera. He never shows me these pictures, I sneak and see them while he sleeps, as he sleeps with his phone and I have to wiggle it from out under his pillow. SICK!!! There’s a new set of pictures every other week. Never seen anything like this in my life!!

    He hides to talk to her when she calls. It’s like he’s ashame to speak with her in front of me…WTF!! Like he’s cheating on me? Her? It’s crazzzy, I tell you!! He goes and visits with her alot, never taking me nor any of his kids (not that I would let them go anyways). The entire family is sick and likes to triangulate, pretty dysfunctional.

    Me,,,took my children and left!!

  16. This may be true for some MILs, but NOT my case. For example, my MIL expects gifts but has never given me a gift and only sporadically gives her own son a gift. Despite my DH paying a lot of money for her health needs and giving her a ton of attention/time. She will call him at work balling about how my FIL treats her, but then doesn’t do anything about it, and pretends everything is fine (it’s been like this for the 14 years I’ve known her). She also calls our kids “her kids” and says weird things like “she’s their real mommy”. Now that our kids are 8 and 9, my kids have begun expressing how uncomfortable she makes then feel. And she is the opposite of appreciative–if my husband even complements me in front of her, she finds a way to undermine it. And when we decided to get married, she dyed her hair red (I have naturally dark red hair). Everyone knew she did it because he chose “me over her”

  17. I only married my wife so that I could have a better chance at hooking up with my MIL and our aunt – The MIL’s sister.

  18. I’m a great MIL because I don’t do anything like my MIL did. I didn’t talk to the woman for 20 years!

  19. I notice a trend here, men get along with their MIL but women don’t. I have four daughters and not one likes their MIL.
    A mother is very close to her children, the father, not so much. So when a strange women moves in and takes away her son, she balks. not an unusual behavior.

  20. Even though my MIL did not deserve it, I have been taking care of her for three years, Her and her Sister, have never tried to get to know me, They have never invited me to go shopping, movies’s , Lunch with them. Even when I was at their house. They always tried to get me to dye my hair or get a perm, fake nails. dress different. Their gift to me were junk, it go to be a joke with my husband and kids, They gave me a blow dryer, but kept the free curling iron and brush, or a robe they got free with something they bought for theirselves, It had cherries all over it. or the gave me something they did not like and they already altered it for them. But they were so nice to everyone one else. I took care of my Aunt until she died on Hospice and now I have to take care of my MIL who is 98 yrs old now. So you MIL better be nicer to your Daughter in-Laws because we might be the only one’s to keep you out of a Old Folks home. MIL should accept your Daughter In-Law’s the way they are. I could tell more Stories, MIL you need to be nicer, and they need to respect your Daughter In-Laws.

  21. My son says he thinks who ever marries him will be so lucky to be a part of our family. (He is an only child and we always wanted a daughter, too.) I chuckle to myself and think “God, I hope so.”

  22. who the hell wrote this? Some smarmy,B.S.ing mother in law? #3 really rankles me. Uh no,it’s not lack of self-confidence,it’s not enjoying being torn to shreds(little bit of criticism,my a$$)….. and #4,a little gratitude,i send birthday gifts and get nothing. Yeah,more like the DIL sends and gets no gratitude. Many MILs don’t bother to remember their DILs birthday,or they purposely forget.

  23. Haha, number 7. that is exactly how I feel when my MIL in town. But she is a nice lady, I have no complains, she does not interfere . Actually I wish she was more grandmotherly to my kids then she is and sent more time with them and spoiled them like grandmothers should do.

  24. Absoultely none of these apply to my MIL. She is very distant does not talk to her son or grandson (our child) only to my spouses ex and their daughter. Its really sad.

  25. My mom would tell us ” A daughter is a daughter, all of her life. A son is a son until he weds his wife.”
    Nothing wrong with that, someone making his own life. Others (including old party buddy’s) not invited.

    1. So why don’t you leave YOUR family as you expect your husband to do? It’s a two way street you know.

  26. Could I get advise from daugher n laws and mothers. . I was a single mom raised two wonderful sons, we were very close. My oldest son got married and within three months she took “control” over him, not health loving control. They have been married for ten years, two children. I have spend most of those ten years, hardly seeing them, but I see them when she will allow it, take whatever time and place I can. I don’t complain, and always try to show kindness, buy her presents as I do my son and grandchildren. However, no matter what I do, or how hard I tried, she treats me like she hates me. She seems to think “that this is a competition” and that if my sons loves me, he can’t really love her. Always quoting scriptures about how to leave his mother and cling to wife. The last year, I had to take off work on medical leave, and my youngest son lives in Seattle, and so much of the year, and all the surgeries I’ve been through alone. I even had to hire someone to take me to procedures. If you are a mother, you should understand how bad this hurts. My heart has been broken over and over. I have not ask for anything, I’ve never been to their house uninvited, not seen them in ten years on Holidays or mothers day, and I’ve not complained. Few weeks ago, I moved closer to them, and text my “daughter n law “she does not work”, please let me know if I could come watch the girls anytime, she cleans, rest, or anything she needs”, that I would love to see them, help out in anyway. Also ask her if she would like to get together and go for a walk. Never responded, then my son told me that me moving closer has been very stressful for her, and we would have to take things really slow. Please, if you have any advise, I would really appreciate it.

    1. Sweetie, I don’t see anything changing also long as she sees her husband as property. He’s hers and that’s all it is to it. I’m in a similar boat, no children yet though. My son is in the Navy and I (nor his dad) have seen him in over two years, because every moment that they don’t spend alone, they spend with her family. There’s not even an opportunity to work on a relationship.

  27. My MIL is critical, unappreciative and likes to play the guilt card every chance she gets. My mother, on the other hand, is generous, thoughtful, always asks about my husband and will scold me if she thinks I’m being unfair to him. As a result, if my mother needs anything and we can provide it, we do. If my MIL needs something? Not gonna happen.

  28. I just had lunch yesterday with my 104 year old MIL she has been nothing but kind and loving and having lost my Mom at fifteen I will always be appreciative.

  29. Umm Im actually closer with my M.I.L than My own mother. We’ve had our ups and Downs but not a day goes by to where I havent AT LEAST talked to her on the phone or came by. I couldnt ask for a better mother in law…..LOVE THAT lady

  30. When mothers-in-law cause problems–and they frequently do–the culprit is more often the man’s mother. These mothers have a hard time turning their sons over to another woman and having to give up their place at the helm that they’ve held for decades.

    I’ve encountered many male friends who were dating, engaged or even married but still put their mothers first. I was always the “voice of reason,” mainly because I told the truth and didn’t pull any punches. Plus, I have a degree in psychology. So they often came to me for advice. And I would tell them to end the marriage, take themselves off the market and remain single so they can be at their mothers’ beck and call since she came first in their lives. I always got protests about their emotional and sexual needs and I would reply that maybe their mothers would be more than happy to help them with their needs and I was always met with anger, shock and fury. Then I would say that I made my point and go on to explain that once they became men, they went out into the world to make a life of their own, to start their own family. To do that, they have to leave the woman they needed to be with the woman they choose to marry and have a family with and that the true role of a mother is to be left behind when the children leave the nest. Putting the wife first isn’t nor should it be an insult to his mother, but a testament to who well he was raised that he should respect his wife. When you marry, you forsake all others and let no man–or woman–pull you asunder. A good MIL will not compete with the DIL for the son/husband’s attention and vice versa. A good husband will never put his wife in that position where she feels she has to compete for his attention and if he or his mother does indeed force the wife/DIL into that position, she would do well to address the issue or end the relationship because she deserves a relationship where she doesn’t have to fight for her place in the family.

    1. Thanks. I wish my husband had known you before he destroyed our marriage with his clear preference for his mother.

  31. “I know you’re married to my son now…but please please don’t act like you own my son and that I’m an intruder when I want to speak with him. (that really hurts my feelings and unnecessarily puts distance between us) Let’s find out what we have in common besides my son and your husband and try to get to know each other.”

    1. Please don’t act like YOU own your son and grandchildren and that I’m an intruder, and we’ll be fine. :)

  32. This must have been written by a mil. Sorry mil out there bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife follow this rule already!

  33. Wow. Is this a joke? Thank God my MIL isn’t like this. I’m not some Mommy Part Deux territorial gatekeeper, and she isn’t a bitter, put-upon martyr. I’m of the opinion that if kids emotionally “break” from their parents and are Independent adults before they get married, most of this drama can be avoided. At least, that’s what I’ve seen over 20 years of adult life and friends’ marriages.

    1. Most of it can, but the mothers on both sides have to be healthy, functioning adults as well. Just because you married a reasonable, responsible person doesn’t mean their parents are. They may have turned out good IN SPITE of their parents, not because of them. :/

  34. My mother-in-law and i have a great relationship. She is like a 2nd mother to me. I think it helps that we live 12 hours away and only see them twice a year. We always visit them. They don’t come to our house, so we don’t have any trouble with them complaining about our house or anything. My husband is one of 3 kids. I think it would be a lot worse if they were an only child. She was in the delivery room along with my mom & husband for both of our children. Wouldn’t trade her for anything.

    1. I’m an only child…has nothing to do with it. I was 29 and had become an independent adult before getting married. Same with my husband…both of our moms had long since relinquished the territorial mommy role so both of us have fine relationships with them.

  35. “If you ever put my son in jail, I’ll trick you into sending your son to stay with me because you’re down on your luck and then I’ll keep him, adopt him, and raise him to adulthood constantly whispering in his ear about how awful you are.”

    I used to brag to everyone about my former MIL. It was entirely undeserved.

  36. #3 I don’t agree with. Many of the times,when it comes across as criticism,it’s because it is. It’s not a self-confidence issue on the DIL’s part.

  37. Hmm, you know, I’ve always gotten along remarkably well with the parents of anyone I’ve ever dated. Yet if the lady who wrote that was my mother-in-law, I’d be a little creeped out.

  38. I think it all falls under mutual respect. BOTH parties need to respect one another. I feel very lucky and blessed to have a MIL who loves and respects me (She met me when I was a young girl – and I appreciate that she has never once held my early 20’s against me!) I love and respect her back, after all she raised the man I fell in love with, what’s not to love about that? But if she didn’t respect me, I can see where that would be very hard to handle. Thank you for making me realize how much I appreciate her.

  39. this is BS to the nth degree. A successful mother raises a child to be a successful adult which means they are not loaded down with the mother’s baggage that they drag into their own relationships. Atleast from reading these comments I realize I am not alone. I have to say I agree with the poster who said “the greatest generation” are a bunch of spoiled brats. Needy soul-sucking narcissists. Grow up–your child did!

  40. Hello my name is Lewis Cheney from USA, My life is back!!! After 6 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our 2 kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted Dr ONIHA I explained my problem to him. In just 2 day, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster Dr ONIHA i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again at onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com. in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is :onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

  41. Wow – lots of “spellcasters” on this board. I’m quite shocked, I thought Readers Digest was for CHRISTIAN households, not Satanists!

  42. Wow – really trying hard to prove that mothers-in-laws are harpy C**ts, huh?
    It’s official: you win. You succeeded. You get the Harpy C**t of the Year award.
    Hurray!

  43. A few of the things I don’t say out loud to my mother-in-law:
    I know you don’t want the grandchildren to like me, but we deserve a chance to have a normal nephew/niece to aunt relationship, even though you want the kids all to yourself.
    I am grateful for your son and the years that you spent raising him, but he is now my husband, and the father of our child.
    It is not funny when your break our rules for our child. It is not funny when you keep him up so late that he is exhausted the next day. It is not funny when you rev the kids up with sugar overload, when we try to keep that to a lower level. A little is fine, but not a meal of it.
    I am a grown woman, with an education and a career. I do not need your advice on how to run my life.
    I do not need your advice on how to run my home.
    I do not need your advice on how to raise our children.
    I don’t actually respect you enough to try to do it the way you did.
    I buy you a birthday, Christmas, and Mother’s day gift, I send flowers for special occasions, but I don’t want you around all that much.
    I am trying to be pleasant, but I did not marry you.
    My own mother would never interfere in our lives as you do.
    I have never said a single bad word about you to our children, who are your grandchildren. I have tried to allow you to have your relationship with them, even when you do so many things I do not approve of.
    You are one of the sole problems in our marriage. My husband who is your son, wishes we got along better. I behave as if I like you in order to make him happy, but I don’t.
    Your husband sees how your behavior and actions impact the marriages of your children, but he can’t quite rein you in, so we are stuck with your interference and snide remarks. I would have a better relationship with him if he weren’t always feeling a need to tell me how great you are with kids, how even strangers want your advice on child-raising, etc. I don’t want your advice or input at all – your son asks me why I listen to you at all, because he doesn’t.
    I hope to be a far better mother-in-law than you have been to me, but it certainly doesn’t seem to be very possible. I will always remember how awful you have been to me, and how you intruded into our lives, so perhaps that will inspire me to do better than you have.

    1. Your husband needs to tell her to knock it off or cut her out.

  44. I just wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation to prophet salifu on bringing my husband back to me,I was married for 9 years to my husband and all of a sudden, he started seeing another lady at work.he started hailing at me and he was abusive.. and he stop careing for me, but I still loved him with all my heart .the situation made me unsettle and not to focus at work .so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster? i did not listen to her . i kept on hoping that my husband will come back home . after a month it got out of hand and my husband came back home to break the news to me that he want a divorce that he is getting married to the other lady .Hmmm it was so shocking to me ,i felt sad and depressed ,so i contacted my friend again and decieded to try to use spiritual means reluctantly..although I didn’t believe in all those things? I never thought in a million years that i will get my husband back to me a again. but I was proved wrong.after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn’t believe it that we are back together. Prophet salifu remained consistent and kind throughout and made the process unbelievable I am deeply satisfied and thankful .if in doubt you should email him at prophetsalifu@yahoo.com or prophetsalifu@gmail.com

    1. Your husband is not only cheating on you with your best friend, but your best friend’s husband, as well.
      Prophet Salifu is getting it up his wazzoo, as well. In fact, everyone is getting it except for YOU, but that’s because you’re ugly and ignorant.

  45. My Name is Mrs Melissa, I was married to my husband for 8years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2010 when things was no longer the way it was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave him the job. since that day, when i called him, he don’t longer pick up my calls and nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the new girl friend till Dr.Aluya cast a spell for me,now is with me and me only.And i am happy with my family if you need his help contact on via email,aluyakespelltemple@live.com.or call him on +2347059498969.

  46. Who thinks/says these kinds of things? This reads like a ‘How to Alienate Your Son and His Wife’ manual.
    Just be yourself and love your kids and their significant other. How they choose to react/interact is their issue.

  47. A well intentioned mother in law may think these things,my mother in law is the female embodiment of Charles Manson. No she is really nutso…not mean, fake nice while she cheats, steals, and spreads rumors galore about me and her own son.A son who understandably, only speaks to his father.

  48. What a sad comment on our society…As a Mother-in-Law, I want to be a part of the family.. Usually, the daughter has her mother in the picture.. But for some reason society looks down on a Mother who wants to be in her son’s life..
    I only hope you remember all that you wrote and feel about your MIL, when you own children become married..

    1. I would love to have a good relationship with my MIL. I would love to be her best friend and take care of her in her old age. However, she makes it impossible when she is trying to destroy my marriage. So she’s cut. This is a deal breaker for me at this point. I’ve had enough of her BS.

    2. The problem is that too many MILs want a DIL who they like and approve. If they don’t approve they try to break up the marriage. This is what mine did. and we already had a child. Is that even sane? I am not so sure.
      MIL doesn’t own her son. And to hurt his family just because she doesn’t like DIL and hurt her own grandchildren is not right. It is selfish.
      Yet, then the DIL just is supposed to pretend everything is fine, for the sake of her husband.

    3. It’s all about being healthy/unhealthy. Grown women with unhealthy expectations, selfish demands and tyrannical habits will not be tolerated. Women who have identities outside of their children, don’t feel threatened by a spouse and support their grown children’s decisions are more than welcome.

  49. I’ve had a few irritations with my MIL but fortunately she is pretty nice. Now that I have a son of my own I have a greater appreciation for her. “A son is a son ’til he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life” is a very true saying. Everyone keeps slamming mothers-in-law but nobody will talk about the beyotchy daughters-in-law who take control of everything. I’ve watched my sister-in-law treat my MIL so rudely for no reason. She’s in charge of everything so all holidays and vacations are spent with her parents. Gifts from my MIL (which tend to be very generous) are rarely acknowledged but her kids always know what her parents got them. Her Christmas letters only talk about her parents and family. Imagine raising your son only to have his mean wife be his “gatekeeper” to where you have to walk on eggshells if you want to maintain any type of relationship. I think some women needs to acknowledge their role in their relationships with their mothers-in-law.

    1. Ah, so your sister in law is the harpy, but your brother is COMPLETELY BLAMELESS, eh? Doesn’t have a pair of balls that he can lay down the law of the land with, eh?
      Ever think that maybe HE wants it the way it is, and that he’s excluded HIS side of the family FOR A REASON???

  50. After being in relationship with my boyfriend for six years, he broke up with me,I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone on line and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. Contact him now for your relationship or marriage problems via this email drojukuspellhome@gmail.com. all thanks to Dr Ojuku regards
    Good Luck…

  51. Am Lara i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 5 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home
    again and he called me that he want a divorce, I asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying that he want a divorce and that he hates me and do not want to
    see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just
    want to try if something will come out of it. I contacted Dr ojuku for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman that she cast a spell on him that is why he hates me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they cast the spell and after 3 days my husband called me
    and he told me that i should forgive him, he settled to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to
    him that he left me. it was the spell that the Dr ojuku shrine castes on him that made him comeback to me today,me and my family are now
    happy again today. thank you Dr ojuku for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want
    you my friends who are passing through this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact email him now ;drojukuspellhome@gmail.com and you will see that your problem will be solved. All thanks to Dr ojuku Regard.
    .Good Luck…………

  52. Am just short of words just confused and so happy don’t know how to

    start, I never believed that a straight forward spell caster still exist on the

    internet, After i have been scammed by lots of fake spell caster with

    lies i never believed i would ever meet a spell caster that will ever

    bring back Dennis to my arms again after 1 year of break up i could

    not leave without him, i was so sad and unhappy even lost my job because

    i was not concentrating anymore, i was always thinking of him, Then i came in

    contact with this God sent Dr aluda, Who has brought back happiness that

    left me for 1 solid year when i told him my problem he laughed and

    said everything would be okay within 5 days, i was like hmmm is this

    real, So i decided to give it a try, 4 days after i was shocked when i got a

    call from Dennis crying that he was sorry for what he has done to me i

    was so happy and a cry of joy fell of my eye’s. Dennis came over to my

    place and now we are together he can’t do without seeing me for just a

    second all thanks and adoration goes to Dr aluda for what he has

    done for me. Please don’t contact other spell caster online that are there to

    add pain to your life just contact Dr aluda on is email

    aludaspelltemple@gmail.com
    Dennis Trisha by name

  53. i am really short of words, can’t finally believe i got my boyfriend back this is my testimony about the man that brought back my man. Priest Andrew, he gave me the heart and confident to trust in him within the period of 4days, and right now me and my boyfriend are living happily and getting very ready and set for our wedding, i am so much happy knowing full well there are real, true spell casters who can really make things happen within the shortest possible time. for help you can reach him on priestandrew91@yahoo.com

  54. I love my mother in law. We didn’t get along at first because me and her son were young and dumb- trouble together. We grew up and had our son who is 8 now. And i guess she appreciates that i dont treat him bad. Anyways, she just sent me a text that said “congrats on lil man getting honor roll: your doing a great job with him.” That made me feel good because not many people realize/ recognize when you have worked hard with your child compared to others around (meaning my sisters’ kids).

    I tried harder with his mom, family, and friends to get along than I have with any others in my life. Its hard because everything can seem critical or passive-aggressive: just have to remember that it is just like your mom telling you or talking with you about something. You married his family just as he did yours.

    It helps to remind yourself that these people love your hubby and your child and want the best for them, so everytime you get frustrated or feel attacked- remind yourself that you want your love and child to have as many people in their life as possible that love them.

    Also remember this is an extension of them- their child and their grandchild: as much as you care about your son/daughter- they care about their son/daughter and their grandchild the same! Married people divorce when love dries up or love is no longer enough, whereas a love for a child and grandchild doesn’t change. Its also worth mentioning, how you treat your mother in law will probably influence how you treat/interact with your child’s spouse in the future.

    Coming between a man and his mother is not the way to go. No matter how much you tell yourself that it is her fault or its your hubby’s choice, it will not matter because you will bare the blame.

    Think of all they say as advice not aggression. There is a difference between suggestions and requirements. Find a way to deal with it and dont be afraid to say “no or we decided to try this, etc.”

    Example: my mil said they will buy my son a brand new car at 16. I said you can buy it because its your right but he wont be driving it as his first car. We will buy him a cheap car first because statistics say he will ruin it the first year. Also he can have a brand new car at graduation but not before. We have many reasons for it but mostly because he needs to learn that luxury is earned not given. If she buys a new car at 16 it will sit in a garage for a year and a half. If he gets caught being irresponsible in a car he will never get it while living w/ me. She seemed to think i was joking but appears to understand now.

    If your child is safe with your in laws- thats whats important. Just make sure they agree not to go against your authority as parent.

    She must know a decent amount and have some parenting wisdom because she raised the best man in the world. I fell in love with him so she did something right.

    1. You are a very wise DIL. You do marry each others family whether some what to admit it or not. I always expected to have this great relationship with a DIL since my son is an only child. I thought it would be great to have someone to go shopping with or just be. When I was married, I never tried to stand between my husband and his family. In fact, I insisted that he spend time when we visited (we live out of state). I didn’t care much for the ILs, but I never disrespected them. I truly liked his dad because he reminded me of my dad. SILs and BILs were a different story. One SIL told me that I thought I was better than them because “you’re educated.” I had no idea what she meant. I graduated high school and she did not.

  55. I am so happy to let the whole world know how this powerful spell caster saved my marriage. Everything was going down

    the drain as my husband can not stop cheating on me with other women.He became used to always heating on me. I tried

    to make him stop, but I couldn’t help the situation, the more I tried, the harder it becomes. At times we will fight

    and go apart for some months and we will come back again just because of our kids. One day a friend told me about this

    spell caster who helped her too, his name is Dr.Osaze she said he uses white magic spells to solve spiritual problems.

    I decided to give it a try, I contacted him and he told me it will take just 2 to 3 days and I will see great changes

    in my husband. He actually cast a spell, believe me after 2 to 3 days of the spell, my husband was confessing

    different names of woman he has slept with. He begged for forgiveness and never to try it again. From that day till

    now, my mind is at rest. My husband dislike every other women on earth except me And am so happy to have him for

    myself alone. Contact him today via:spirituallove@hotmail.com

  56. i am into my leave my man alone kit/dual casting with Dr AGBON. indiapowerfulspell@gmail.com and today he emailed me out of the blue. this is on the 5th day of the 1st spell and he is already contacting me. wow, i was starting to think i was beating a dead horse since i have heard from him in 1 month. thank you so much, i can not wait to start the love me again dual casting. the incense and oil smell very good. thank you for helping me. i am going to recommend your service to my friends. thank you again and thank you papa Dr AGBON…

  57. My mother-in-law is AWFUL. I know he’s your son, but newsflash: a mother’s love just isn’t enough after a certain age…adulthood! You’re not number one anymore.

  58. Mine’s is a lying, two faced manipulative b*tch who brainwashed all of her children to worship her and outcast their dad (and me). Funny thing is not one of her beloved children helped her with chores around the house, only me. And did I ever so much as get a thank you or even acknowledgement? Never, she just found me another task or began complaining about one of her million ailments or retelling stories of how she has been wronged in the past by her inlaws. She also enjoyed badmouthing my parents and warning me never to tell my husband or anyone and that I should keep my heartache to myself. Anyway, I am rid of her but still married and I know it hurts my husband that he is distancing himself from her but he was forced to choose between me and them. I know he secretly blames me and sometimes regrets marrying me but that is just a buden we will have to live with. I doubt she’ll ever change or admit fault as she is too stubborn and pig headed (as are her other offspring). Feel sorry for the FIL who must loathe her, she even drove a wedge between him and me.

  59. My boyfriend’s mother has been sending the most passive aggressive messages on my facebook wall since we moved in together like “you mean you’re not cooking?” when I simply mentioned a restaurant in the area…or my favorite: “mama bear’s got claws.” He is almost 27 years old. He just moved out of her home and in with me, but I don’t think that is any excuse for this type of controlling behavior. She’s even on his bank account. I actually feel bad for him, since I don’t see how she could trust him if this is the way she protects him. After looking through these comments and seeing so many that end with “at least we’re divorced now”. I’m very worried. Is there anyone out there that has had a terrible relationship with a MIL (since the beginning) but still has a happy marriage? (side note: this seems to be somewhat of a theme for all guys I’ve dated)

    1. sister…..your man is not a man…he’s aman child. gal below me is right..RUN.

    2. Here’s an update: She got way worse. But it’s actually brought me and him closer together. He’s sick of her controlling him and now every time she says something to him or me it’s just uniting us even more. And at this point he tells me not even to respond, and he’s selective when he does. He always tells me that the only opinion regarding our relationship we should care about is each others. We’re not engaged quite yet, but yeah, all of her efforts to pull us apart are completely backfiring. So hopefully this is at least one happy ending.

      1. She actually seemed to be fine until she was told that that if he wasn’t going to marry me, he wouldn’t still be with me. That’s when it all hit the fan. And when she told me that I should still trust my own mother more than him even AFTER he and I get married was when I realized she was crazy. (My own mother supports us and me trusting him more than anyone else, btw) (why are mothers of women so much saner than mothers of men?)

        1. Red flags. Red flags, everywhere. A man’s relationship with his mother is a very good indicator of what his relationship will be like with his wife, so keep that in mind.

          1. The thing is, I think the way he treats his mother shows that he WILL treat me well. He did so much for her his whole life. And he still would like to, but he’s speaking to her less because of how she is speaking about me. I know what a rarity it is for a situation to be all one person, but seriously, that seems to be what it is here. He tried, but if she’s rude about me, he’s not going to take it.

  60. My name is Anastasia, am from New York (usa). i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great DR.SAMBOLA brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn’t worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i did them all, he told me to wait for just two days and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully did what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away, since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy. That’s why i want to say a big thank you to DR.SAMBOLA. This great man made me to understand that there’s no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at greatsambolaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  61. I heard so many things about DR OGALA. and every story has been so great. so here is my story, me and the father of my son has been off and on for 3 years its been a very stressful relationship. he cheated on me and I was very hurt, it was miserable for me so in returned I cheated because I wanted him to feel the pain but he never cares so we went apart, so he went back to his ex.i wanted him to leave her and let us come back together, I love him so much and I just want him to feel the same way feel for him, lucky for me DR OGALA was the one who brought my lover back to me, he is a good spell caster. his contact address is ogalalovespell@yahoo.com.you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband

  62. Thank you Dr olokun for saving my marriage, i and my husband have been looking for a male child for the past 18 years we had 4 daughters and their was no probability of giving birth to a male child and my husband was frustrated to the extend that he wants to divorced me, he said that he needed a male child in his life that will take over him and keep his family name in existence, i did not know what to do again i also went mad because of this male child issue after 4 daughters even my doctor told me that if i should be pregnant again that it must still be a female child, it was their i lost all hope, so i told a friend of mine who also passed through this king of problem and now she is a mother of two male child, then she told me that it was Dr olokun Medicine that help her bear her two male child she have now then i ask her how did it happen. then she told me that they deal with root and herb purely that their medicine is blessed and it working for real that after she have took this their medicine that was when she had a first male child after 5 female children, so i decided to contact them also then they told me all i need to do, they send me the medicine in my country i made use of it and i was pregnant again i was afraid to go for check up if it was a female child again after the 7 month my doctor asked me how did this happen that the child in my womb is a male child their i knew that this medicine is real and it works, i deliver a baby boy and i want you all my fellow women who are looking for male child so badly or desperately to contact Dr olokun she will help you out and also women having the problem of bearing children just contact he and he will put a smile to your face, he email is drolokuntemple@gmail.com

  63. Get your problem solve in Grate Dr.OYAKHILO.You can get the following problems solve here.I want you all to know that there is no side effect in using this spell casting ,Its to help you get what you want in-order. And you will be free from wrong spell casters if you come for solution,your problems will be solved here.EMAIL:oyakhilobhegbelovespelltemple@live.com

    1.} Get back on your financial ground
    2.} Bring back lost lover,if lost for a long time
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  64. I am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, i want you all to know that their is one man called priest Oduma that work for me and after 2days of his spell brought my ex back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same man’s help so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true just contact him via his email address spellofsolution@gmail.com or call him via his mobile number +2348153363047 he can help you without any delay.

    THANKS TO PRIEST ODUMA FOR YOUR HELP

    POWERFUL LOVE SPELLS, POWERFUL MONEY SPELL, REVENGE OF THE RAVEN CURSE,

    BREAK UP SPELLS, DO LOVE SPELLS WORK, MAGIC SPELLS….

    maris

    Malaysia

  65. I wanted you to know that in February I wrote and asked for some help. I needed some money. Three weeks after my spell was cast I won R25, 400. Then a week later I won R3, 4730, then R800, 290. Esther Cape town ” Thanks for casting a spell for me on march 20th. On the day you chose I won $3959 on Lotto. The next day I won $10000 at Bingo.” Ronald Lynbrook, NY if you need his help contact email adress templeofpeaceandsurcess@gmail.com

  66. this is Margo ,I want to thank you & the Spirits for all that you’ve done for me all these years. I’m thankful for all the time, money & effort you & the Spirits have put into my case. i have managed to win all court cases against me in short time through your powers, I will always be grateful, you saved me from life imprisonment. Sincerely,if you need his help contact email adress templeofpeaceandsurcess@gmail.com

  67. Hi ,

    really whats the secret about your ancestors? because i asked them to do for me four jobs such as, have back my employment,richness, lover and a car.But guess what doc, although am not as such rich but am now employed, have my BMW 7 series,and engaged with beautiful woman! thanks doc really i will bring a gift to your ancestor too. his email : templeofpeaceandsurcess@gmail.com

  68. Thanks to the great man the man of all people he is the greatest man i have ever seen since i came to this world i was frustrated but one good day i just said let me go to the internet so i came across the good work of this great man the great Dr.okosovo so i contacted him for him to help me bring back my ex boyfriend and he laugh he said is this your problem and i said yes then he told me to clean my tears that it will just take him 3days to bring him back after i gave him all he required i waited till the 3days came and that faithful day i saw some knocking at my door who did i found, my ex boyfriend he started begging for forgiveness that is how i got my ex back true the great Dr.okosovo . i advice you to contact him in any kind of problem email drokosovospelltemple@hotmail.com

    Lydia Luteria
    u s a

  69. My mil law was great…until we had a kid, then it all went to hell. She was critical, over bearing, rude, and just plain nasty towards me because i didn’t agree to her advice, like giving my 4 month old coke and cough syrup.Long story short after my h told her we needed space she flipped out, called me a selfish whore, had her entire family turned against me, and sending me messages on FB telling me to burn in hell, and we ended up moving 1,200 miles away just to get some peace. And I tricked my h into moving…an able bodied man in full use of his mental functions got tricked into moving 1200 miles, changing jobs, and selling our house. She’s freakin crazy…

  70. Help….the mother in law claims to like me…..but I don’t like her, she is controlling, thinks she knows everything. She doesn’t work because she has a 7 year old daughter who “won’t be looked after by anyone else” even though she has no man. My mum is clinically disabled and it gets to me that the mil WON’T get a job. I have a 7 week old baby with her son and when we visit her she always says that she is gonna kidnap her and keep her, she tries to joke and say we need to leave so she can have “HER” granddaughter all to herself, I really hate her and now my other half has told her that she can have our daughter over night tomorrow!!! Help!!!

  71. This is about a too goid to be true mil and life for me.. A dream cm true.
    I have a mil who Lives with us.its been 5 years since fil passed away.she has no other support or option. But she is totally unappreciative..still thinks this is her family and we r just 5 year olds needing advice about Everything..she is way too interferring and always breating over my shoulder.. She is absolutely fit and healthy when it comes of partying wth her friends and relatives..but if i ever Ever try to confront her about My responsibilities and position in the house.. She ‘falls’ sick the nxt day and gives the impression tht she is a troubled poor old lady who has no 1 to appreciate her value.. Its just too much to hv..tht too 24 hours a day! Her son..n me we both dislike her ways immensely but what options do we really have otherwise!!!!! GOD Give me strngth to bear this nonsense

    1. Can’t you send her to a home if she is that ill when you mention things? Explain that you both love her and respect her and she has a big place in both your hearts and life’s but you are both feeling the strain of having to look after yourselves and her….she seems very selfish

  72. Dear Master obosianzen

    I just want to take a few moments to personally thank you for helping me bring back my husband to me and his family. About eight months ago, I discovered that my husband of 11 years was having an affair with my next door neighbor and so called friend of five years.
    When I found out about this affair, I approached him and he did confessed that he and her was having an affair and that he loved her and wanted to end our marriage and be with her.I was so devastated that I had to be hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. When I got better, I decided to go online and look for someone very good to help me.Boy was I in for a surprised! I was ripped off by many so called Psychics and Voodoo workers who all they did was to take my money with no results.Then one day, I saw your coment and was impressed by what you said ,but I was more impressed with the news reporter who was impressed by you and the fact he pointed out how many of your rivals were so jealous of you and spreading lies about you.
    You just responded by simply saying, poof is in the tasting. That was when I made up my mind to contact you and I am so glad I did. After 21 days my husband had a big nasty fight with that woman and he called me from jail to get him out.
    He told me that he was sorry and to please take him back. After having a few days of seriously talking we are now a happy family. I thank God for you each day for you and my family.
    I want you to put this letter on your website, because I am shocked at the lies these other so called Psychics are doing to other people.
    I want who ever reads this letter on your website to know that I do not work for you, you have not paid me and I am a very real person.iam swearing to God that all I have written to you is the honest truth!
    That news man was right, you are very good and I can see why so many conning people hate you and hid behind phony names and websites.
    Just like you said on your coment, the proof is in the tasting! And I have tasted your work and you are the best! so please contact him via obosianzenspelltemple@hotmail.com

    Your client for life

    SJ Washington D.C

    1. I have to say it…..HE CHEATED ON YOU ONCE WHY WON’T HE DO IT AGAIN?? This goes to everyone who “got their love back” it’s pathetic you need to move on and find someone actually worth it. He obviously doesn’t respect you or love you with all his heart. It’s a joke and everyone who takes back a man or woman who has cheated are a even bigger joke, think about it, really!!??!!

  73. I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help.And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called caston and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy woman.Foe what you have done for me,i will not stop to share your goodness to people out there for the good work you are doing.I hope God blesses you as much as you have help me to get my Love back,visit him on okayaspellhelp@gmail.com,he is the only answer to your problems okayaspellhelp@gmail.com

  74. The great Therapist Oniha has brought my lover back to me, i can now see why others has been saying good about his great help and great powers that WIN EX BACK SPELL, Therapist Oniha is real,he really take his time to make sure he brought my ex back within some days though there was some challenges he went through during when he was helping me, i really appreciate his work toward me, my lover is back to my arms once again, i can boldly say that Therapist Oniha is really gifted to help you bring back your ex within 4days just contact him via winexbackspell@gamil. com AND I WILL KEEP ON SAYING HIS GOODNESS UNTIL I AM SATISFY.

  75. my name is Susan i want to thank my friend for showing way to
    prophetludaspelltemple@outloook.com where all my sorrow was turn to joy, i was
    in a relationship for 2years and suddenly a mistake came into it from my
    side but i tried to beg my man but he refuse to listen to my apologies,
    until my friend told me about a grate spell caster that help her when she was
    also in a problem but i did not believed in her cause i dont also belived
    in spell caster until i chose to give him a trial. this man told me what i
    need to do so that my man will come and after doing them my man came back
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  76. I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great spell caster Dr.stone and i contacted him through his email (worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com ) i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Paul come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name worldwidesupremetemple@gmail.com his contact number

  77. Am Julia Ferguson from Canada Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart. That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks to DR Paloma, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how DR Paloma could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: palomaspelltemple@yahoo.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live

  78. “Just wanted to update you on the results of the spell you cast for me. It seems to be working. I will know more in a couple more weeks, but things are definitely moving. Keeping my hopes up on you dr.gboco. Email: gbocotemple@yahoo.com my husband keep on calling me now and have also come to apologize to me according to the way you said it was going to be thank you so much Dr Gboco.

  79. My MIL shows no gratitude but expects it and its never enough, didn’t call/send a card when my dad died, doesn’t return phone calls but expects her calls returned, thinks we should spend all our disposable income visiting her 1,000 miles away, treats me like the hired help, and makes no effort at having a warm loving relationship with me. I have bent over backwards trying. She is very hurtful and appears to be trying to break us up (when I told her it was our 10 year anniversery all she could muster was an I know- what mother wouldn’t be ecstatic after 2 failed marriages?). I am convinced that she is trying to break us up because she lost her own husband after 59 years and thinks if she gets rid of me her son will take care of her. Her son (really me) would be more apt to take care of her if he remains married; however, I am not going let her treat me like dirt or break us up

  80. This is an incredibly selfish, self-absorbed mentally disturbed MIL. Your kids are not your possessions. You should be happy for them when they are happy, productive and not living in the basement. My children at 27, 25, & 19. This is sick. Really RD? These women need help & should be ignored if not cut out. Marriage is hard enough without giving his mother this sort if importance.

  81. I’m really, really lucky to get along so well with my mother-in-law. I’ve been married just under a year but been with him for 7. I really love his family and his mother and I feel so grateful for such a great relationship with them all.

  82. Well, number 13 fit my situation, but that was the only one. . .Nope, folks, there really are mother in laws who are wretched, writhing worms.

  83. I only wish my MIL was this passive aggressive, instead I have her living with me and interfering in every aspect of our lives and my husband nurtures her disfunction.

  84. Poopoo all you want but these are mild and tame compared to what most mils think.

  85. This article is clearly written by a mother-in-law who has a bad relationship with her daughter-in-law and a serious insecurity about losing her son, so she wants to play a victim in this relationship. This kind of passive criticism on the daughter-in-law – so typical of mils! Mine does it all the time!

  86. My relationship with my mother-in-law can be trying at times, and it’s like that naturally, I think. Not everything in the list applies to us, and some are flipped the other way around. I think as a daughter-in-law, the important thing to remember is that a m-i-l’s greatest fear is that you will take her son away from her. This is a primal fear all mothers have, and it has the potential to cross all lines of reason, logic, and sanity. On the other hand, as wives, we live with the fear that our husbands will resent our expectations for them to be responsible adults and go back to Mom who will serve them cookies and milk while they lay on the couch and play video games!

  87. I don’t know what to do my mil treats my kids so different then the others. At christmas the other kids are spoiled and not mine and she see my kid cry and laughs. Then she doesn’t come to see them so I stopped calling been a month. She always treated my husband different going up like he was unwanted and know trying to do it to my kids.. I don’t know what to do , should I not even go thier for holidays , I don’t think she would miss us she doesn’t even care.

    1. Why would you continue to be around someone who made your kid cry and then laugh at them???? That is horrible for your child! You need to stop visiting her and speaking to her for good. What does your husband say and feel about the situation?

  88. This is passive-aggressive nonsense from a deeply insecure, narcissistic woman. My MIL is way too passive-agressive to say any of this out loud, but I can definitely imagine her thinking them.

    Mothers of adult sons (my MIL included) need to accept the fact that they are absolutely NOT the center of their sons lives. It’s sick that these women choose to put their own selfish desires above their son’s happiness.

    1. Yeah, I don’t get it. My mother had no problem letting me go. She and I love each other and are close, but we don’t have a co-dependent relationship. My mom would be happy whether I lived in the same city as her or a whole different continent–as long as she thought I was happy with my life, she’d be happy. She doesn’t meddle, doesn’t give unsolicited advice, doesn’t criticize me or my SO’s life choices, doesn’t judge my house when it’s dirty and never complains about how much time I spend/don’t spend with her. And she raised two boys and a girl (myself) so it’s not just a mother-daughter thing. It’s an “I am a healthy adult” thing. LOL.

  89. ALL in-laws need to realize…BUTT OUT. When a son or daughter gets married, they are part of a new family now – their own. They are not your baby anymore. Their family comes first, and it shoud.

  90. Dear friends you all know that is not easy to leave a relationship of about 5years and forget it and all the feelings that you both have for each other. That was my problem that i was having for the past 1month now i was really feeling sick and wanted to take my life but thanks be to ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com who help me with a reunite spell for me and my ex husband and now i feel so happy that we are both back again and living happily more than ever before thank you doctor ekaka.

  91. #7 is a crook, my mother in law comes in and looks at everything. And it gets around to the family how it looks, how much dust there was, etc.

  92. This is just a mother-in-law being passive aggressive. Thanks for reminding me why I can’t stand my own.

  93. Despite helping our son & wife w/ bills and giving them nice gifts, never have gotten even a thank you of any sorts.  So this year— that is it.  No more.  They don’t care to acknowledge us, same can go for them.

  94. Oh I love how all of these items portral the MIL as the angel.  I am the one who send b’day, anniversary and Mothers day cards and presents every year and never received a single one in return (and we got married on her B’day) We do endure white glove treatment when they visit.  I set up our lovely guest room for them and prepare meals for them but she doesnt even pretend to be grateful or to be interested in even talking to me.  This areticle is painfully biased.  If I had a MIL like that I would be ecstatic, and I am happy for those who do, but you are living in a dream world if you think your idealized MIL is the norm.  

  95. This article is a hideous representation of what a mother-in-law “really” is. What I read here was 13 issues that a passive-aggressive woman with low self-esteem has, who clearly has a bad relationship with her son as well as her daughter-in-law.

  96. I’m glad my mother-in-law does not say anything bad to me. She’s deaf and mute since birth. LOL

    1. heh, I’m involved with the Deaf community. Their culture is MUCH more direct, if she signs and you know ASL she’s probably a lot crueler lol

  97. 10 things ar MIL needs to know.
    1. Its not all about you any more, and yes you are simple a character actor in my family.
    2. You had your family, I have mine.  You are welcome to be included, but you are a guest.
    3. Those thinly veiled sarcastic comments – they are criticism.
    4. When you arrive and start cleaning or rearranging – that is a white glove inspection.
    5. Most of the time he doesn’t actually want to talk to you privately.
    6. Your cooking and parenting was not as good as you recall it to be.
    7. Thank you for the kind gift.  But it was a gift, something done on your own volition, not a consideration for a promissory note.
    8. You may know things, and for advise you are knowledgeable of, we appreciate it.  But don’t give advice on marriage if you are divorced, on saving if you are a debtor, on owning a business if you’ve never owned one.
    9. My family is not your vicarious life – it is my real one.
    10. Sometimes our dreams, goals, aspirations, and appreciations will not match yours.

    1.  My mother in law even admitted she was going to start acting like Doris Roberts on Raymond. That was when I gave up – I believe it was due to us not letting her get away with everything you mentioned – of course she thought we were “too sensitive” every time we confronted her.

      By the time I became tough enough to deal with her properly I was divorced.

    2. 8–Or how about don’t give advice without being asked on my relationship unless you are actually IN my relationship?

    3. AMEN! You said it sister!!! THANK YOU!! Thank you! I swear you must be my twin out there in the world! Puhhhlease… 3 weeks after the wedding she posts pictures of her and the ex gf & about how gorgeous she (the ex) is and “part of the family”… thi is one sick B. Cmon, lets not act like all MIL’s are sane Readers Digest!

  98. #5 I want to be happy too? Be happy then, don’t play a victim. If your son gets married, he gets married. His wife is the most important person and vice a versa. Just like in your life your family was the most important thing to you and you were the most important to them. This is a stupid list. Both the daughter in law and mother in law should be accepting and loving but the mother in law has a greater role because it is her family. My husband and I are best friends, we tell each other everything. He loves his mother and I am so lucky she is loving and caring to me too so its easy for me to love her. I don’t call her everyday because I am just terrible talking over the phone. However people think I am her daughter and her son is her in law. But as much as I love my MIL, my husband gave me confidence because he supported me more than anyone. If there were more husbands like him there might be more MIL’s like his mother. 

    1. Thankfully, my husband is similar to yours, but his mother has narcissistic personality disorder, so neither of us ever stood a chance

    2. Amen! My mom told me in all seriousness that she and my father have never had more fun than after all of us kids left the house. Instead of moping because their children are gone and have lives, my parents are enjoying each other’s company, taking vacations (a big deal in our family, they were always too poor to go anywhere before) and pretty much doing whatever they want. That’s a healthy attitude. The attitude of “Oh, I need my grown adult children to validate my life and make me feel useful again,” is UNHEALTHY.

    3. I’m confused by what you meant when you said “…but the mother-in-law has the greater role because it is her family.” Can you please elaborate?

      What I am thinking now is that you mean the son, daughter-in-law and their kids are her family. While technically it is her family, they are also considered extended family once the son and daughter-in-law marry. Once married, son and DIL become their own nuclear family.

  99. This is self-serving, self-centered, manipulative nonsense. If a mother in law says any of these things-smile, nod, and shut the door behind them with an grateful sigh. Be a better mother to your kids-no explanations necessary.

      1. Oh, she says it, she is doing it with this article, it is not anonymous, is ti?

  100. my mother in law is a f***ing b*tch, she confronted me and wants me to leave her daughter and my son just so they could be together again as a happy family without my wife knowing it and i cant tell her coz i still have respect for them, how about my family? should i just k*ll the b*tch?

  101.  This is seriously about women who have problems with the depth of relationship they have with their son. Reminds me of my ex-fiance’s mother. My ex-fiance admitted to me that his mother did her best to drive away his girlfriends, and she’d actually managed to get him to move back in with her (in his 30’s) and help pay her bills. When he met me and moved out of her place, she made it a point to try to be in constant communication with him, wanting to text and email and call day and night, wanting him to drive 100 miles out of his way to visit her, insisting that he not tell me beforehand and leave me behind almost every single time. When we split up — which was partly due to him wanting me to be at home all the time, getting upset if I walked to the store or the library by myself, not allowing me access to any money whatsoever even though he’d repeatedly promise an allowance, and being in control of me in every way he could; and partly due to his mother coming to see him at work and telling him to split up with me — he apologized profusely for letting his mother walk all over him (and for some of the other stuff). But since he’s known only an abusive father and a domineering wreck of a mother (she used to tell him frequently “I’m your mother, I can do whatever I want” in order to get her way), he pretty much had (and has) no chance of maintaining a healthy relationship with a girlfriend or wife. She won’t let him. After we split up, she moved to be closer to him (even though he’d specifically move far away from her to get away). And then she made him add her to his cellphone plan. That’s not apron-strings, that’s an apron NOOSE.

  102. “I’m so happy that you allow my son—your husband—to visit me on Mother’s Day. It’s a long trip and a big expense.”  Yikes. “Allow”????  This isn’t a MIL problem, this is a DIL/wife problem, if husband needs her PERMISSION to do things.

    I had the most wonderful MIL ever – my marriage ended 7 years ago, but she’s still one of my best friends. I adore her, always have, FIL and SIL, too. 

    1. It’d be nice if a husband and wife could come to agreements together without the husband being a little emperor and doing whatever the hell he wants. If that’s what you think marriage is, stay single.

    2. so true, the husbands cannot do a thing unless the wife approves, its DIL that is difficult

      1. My husband doesn’t need to ask for my approval, he’s a grown man. Likewise, I don’t need to ask for his, I’m a grown woman. HOWEVER, since we’re both committed to staying married, we do talk over everything and yes, we do BOTH ask each other’s permission before making major decisions. We are a partnership, not a dictatorship.

        1. many times…it’s the husband who doesn’t want to keep up the relationship…and the wife who gets blamed. Factor in an insecure mil who feels the need to attempt to manipulate, add in a dil who will not be manipulated..and you have a very interesting situation. It is handled by copious distance and lots of head nodding.

          1. Absolutely. I was told that it was completely my fault their relationship was growing distant, when I tried to get him to visit her all the time until it started to really interfere with our relationship. I can’t help it if he doesn’t want to see you. Maybe treat me better and he’ll be more up for it.

    3. i agree,what is with these MIL who think we have the power to controll or allow our husbands to do things or not.these women think we tell them what to do and they must think so little of their sons to think they dont have a mind of their own,who are smart enough to make their own choices.if MIL’s dont get what they want when they want it or dont see their son as much as they want they blame the DIL because they must think their son has no brain or mouth of their own.the MIL’s who think this way are troublemakers,toxic,users or have an all about me no body else matters additude or all of the above.

      you were blessed to have had a wonderful MIL

      1. Holy cow, did I post this without knowing it? Lol this is me, perfectly. You must really think poorly of your son; He is so much stronger than you give him credit for. And all of the asking him to visit you doesn’t do anything because HE DOESN’T WANT TO. I do what I can, so stop blaming me. Maybe be nicer and he’ll want to see you more.

  103. “She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can’t afford.
    All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that’s enough and
    that it’s appreciated.”

    Unless you are having sex with your mother then your wife certainly is doing quite a bit more than being a babysitter. Some women are way too concerned with a guys relationship with their moms.

    1. I think this one means that the son’s mother feels lie she’s in competition with the daughter inlaw’s mother.

  104. “She takes you on vacations every year and buys things I can’t afford.
    All I can do is love you and babysit for you. I hope that’s enough and
    that it’s appreciated.”

    Unless you are having sex with your mother then your wife certainly is doing quite a bit more than being a babysitter. Some women are way too concerned with a guys relationship with their moms.

  105. They obviously never met my monster-in-law. I should have known what I was into when she wouldn’t speak to any of us the day of the wedding.

    1. Admittedly, that is better than she’s acted the rest of our marriage.

  106. wow.  really touching!  When you are blessed to have a husband, then doubly blessed to love his mother too…you are TRULY blessed.  Everyone needs love.

    1. When the great husband’s mother is awful to you, it’s not any sort of blessing at all to have to know her or be around her. We just try to survive knowing her.

  107. I have the BEST MIL possible.  She treats me like she treats her own daughters and even if she and I don’t agree on something…. she still likes/loves me.  She’s exceptional because she makes me feel loved and welcome in her family.  

    1. I feel really bad for these commenters who have bad relationships with their in-laws, it must be really miserable! I talk to my mother in law more than my husband does some weeks! I know it’s nuts for me to comment 8 months after this post ,but I couldn’t resist.

  108. # 1 & 2 – Are you trying to give your son an Oedipus complex?
    #3, 4, 5 – I always send thank you notes for gifts, but otherwise, you’re being petty
    # 6 – Um…..what do you think my mom is for?
    # 7 – liar, everyone checks out everyone else’s houses
    # 8 – Um…..ok?
    # 10 – Unless you’re doing something truly heinous, I’m not going to cut you off, and it’s your son’s job to talk to you about any incidents
    # 11 – I will always pick my mom (all parties being reasonable).

    1. #7 is a lie b/c my mil says 1) maybe you should hire a personal organizer, 2) their pantry is much more organized than yours, 3) wednesdays are laundry day at my place and we pick up a different room every day, etc. At least I don’t way anything when we visit her home.

  109. Gee – when my in-laws visited the first thing out of their mouths was “Why didn’t you wash your windows?”  Then they would come out of the bathroom saying that they found mold under the bath mat!  We called my mil the shark, pit bull, vampire.  Thank goodness I don’t ever have to deal with anyone in that family again since the divorce.

    1.  the reality is if your MIL doesn’t like you your marriage will be in court! 

      1. So True! It’s happening to me! My in-laws are mad because my husband told them to STAY OUT OF OUR MARRIAGE. I mean, I married HIM, not his parents. Since my husband is a honorable man, now I am the bad guy in his family’s eyes… and it’s basically ruined our marriage…for good. :(

        1. Not. In a good marriage there will be great inlaws. They raised the man who is your husband after all.

          1. Doesn’t keep them from being a royal pain. We have a very good marriage, but I cannot stand his mother. I hate to be in the same room with her, and I spend every holiday visit on edge knowing that I will have to deal with her. My family loves my husband and they treat him so well, respectfully, kindly. His family acts like I’m just a 5th wheel, and my sister-in-law and I are the ones who do all the cleanup after THEIR family events, with never a thank you. My inlaws are intrusive and interfere, they are critical and judgmental, and I wish I didn’t have to see them. I try to have a civil relationship with them, and with my husband’s brothers and sisters, but it is not something I enjoy. I had a great relationship with the family of a long-time boyfriend, so it is weird to be disliked so much by them. There is no guarantee that anyone will get great inlaws, even when their child is wonderful and you choose to marry that person.

          2. Continue with that attitude and you just might get that wish some day..

          3. thats not true. a good man will stand up for his wife and tell his mother to respect HIS choice in a spouse PERIOD. mom may not like her but she better hold her tongue if she wants to have a good relationship with him and her grandchildren. moms need to realize the son is a GROWN MAN he doesnt need your input, petty comments etc anymore. the wife will be the mother of your grandchildren, suck it up and deal. chances are your mother in law wasnt crazy about you either

          4. Yep. My FIL’s mother hated my MIL when they were married. She tried hard to break the marriage up. My FIL responded by completely cutting his OWN MOTHER out of his life. When I was told that story, my respect for my FIL went through the roof.

          5. I’m curious to find out how your MIL treats/treated you since her MIL was so awful to her?

      2. No, if your spouse is a push over then your marriage will have problems. In my family, spouses take precedence over ANYONE else–including mothers. I don’t ever put my mother ahead of my husband and he doesn’t put his mother ahead of me. If one of our mothers has a problem with something we’re doing, we handle it as a couple and speak with one voice (even if we privately side with someone else). We NEVER talk down about each other and we never criticize each other in front of other people, period. And whenever someone starts trying to play us off of one another (happens more in his family then mine) we defend each other and stick to our guns. But I was raised to believe that your spouse was the most important person in your marriage… not someone else. :/ When my MIL gets upset with me, my husband tells her that he supports my decision, even if he has some doubts. I do the same. It’s all about presenting a united front. Knowing your spouse has your back is what makes a marriage work, not whether or not his or her family likes you.

        1. My mom would be incredibly disappointed if I trusted her before him (even before we were engaged and just living together) (something she’s morally against). She told me this nearly verbatim after I told her my MIL said people should always trust their mother before their spouses.

  110. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I am polite to my in-laws and they treat me like their own son. The system seems to work pretty well.

    1. keyword is SON. This happens to women the most and the husbands leave her to fend for herself.

      1. Thank you for clarifying that. This is my second marriage. I got along well with my 1st MIL, but my husband/her son turned out to be the problem. I’m a newly wed again – many years later and my husband’s a dear, but his mother just ‘keeps confusion/conflict going!’ Don’t understand it. Now she blames me for coming into her son’s life and keep him from her. I can hear/feel her pain, but she comes at me (and others) the wrong way. I really don’t understand the competition thing. All I want to do is love my husband as well as his family. But these days, I do in fact ignore the calls and hide from her for fear of the conversation once again, turning ugly.

        1. I do not love my husband’s family, and it is not my responsibility to do so. When the relationship with the inlaws is positive, that’s a great thing. When it is not, you can’t manufacture it, or pretend it is good.

          1. thank you!!!! i say this all the time, you cannot force people to like one another and i tell my husband all the time. if you werent related would you be friends with them? if the answer is no then why try and force a relationship? my mil is a b with a capital ITCH. she is bipolar(untreated) and thinks she is the queen bee and everyone should kowtow to her. the final straw came when my sister passed and she had to be told by my husband to call me to offer condolences( over a week later). she has not called since. she treats my kids coldly and i am just done. now she isnt speaking to my husband either and i have to say i wish he had spoken to her sooner, its so nice not arguing about her nonsense all the time.

          2. 100% her choice. If she wants to lose her son because he’s so sick of how she treats me, then go for it. I’m not going to earn my way into your family; your son certainly never had to with mine.

          3. But I’m sure you expect your spouse to love your family.

    2. It is the MIL-daughter-in-law relationship that seems doomed from the start. My mother is very kind and thoughtful to my husband, he thinks she is wonderful. His mother is pretty horrible to me, ever since we had children and she thought she had a right to spoil them rotten and break all of my rules for their behavior. Somehow, that hasn’t gone well at all. Men don’t usually have a problem with their MIL.

  111. I’m sorry in what universe is there a mother in-law with these qualities???  Most mother inlaws are stone cold b*tches and near no way of meeting these qualities..

      1. Yup I’ve been married twice & both MILs actually compete/d with me for their son. My current marriage is my husbands third. I have no intention of letting him get to a fourth. I love him, but our marriage comes first! The closer I get to becoming a MIL the less I understand these women. This isn’t love. I think it’s evil, these selfish self-absorbed MIKs are interfering with Gods plan. They’re miserable people. I think this ‘greatest generation’ are a bunch of spoiled brats.

        1. If you mean baby boomers, that’s not the “greatest generation.” The GG are WWII-era people.

          1. Dana I am a baby boomer, my parent’s generation was ‘the greatest generation’. I understand what I said.

        2. Two mothers in law out of… how many in the world. That’s a pretty small sample size. Try again. [maybe you are the problem? possible]

          1. I’d say the whole world wouldn’t need to be evaluated. It could very well be a cultural thing, I don’t know. But it’s common enough you’ll see it in any movie or TV show featuring a mother in law. I’m not saying movies and TV are real life, but if it’s that common of a theme there is some truth to it. But if you have a good situation with yours, then you should be really happy. Most women aren’t as lucky.

        3. Ah, Reader’s Digest, if you had done due diligence as admins you would have seen that there were more stinging critiques than mine allowed here. This poor woman, Missy753/Catholic Girl has much to repair in the logic department. Come on, she didn’t see warning signs in the man she married before the wedding?–Please. Both these people have had multiple marriages–do you think Liz Taylor and Mickey Rooney with about eight spouses apiece were bound for relationship success? I didn’t use pejorative language or threaten anyone, but I DO like to point out what should be obvious, but seldom is.

          1. Ha ha right you are!! I probably would not have married him if the Stars had not aligned perfectly (read: tragedy). So I saw what I wanted and was groomed for – but I think it was meant to be & is working out.

        1. My MIL was wicked witch of the west. But she was the same with her son.

        2. Most DILs of the X or whatever they are called now are awful to their MILs. Just horrid creatures who believe that their husbands are property to own. Guess what little girls, they are not yours to own.

          1. This is irony at its finest.

            Leave and Cleave Therapists find the opposite.

    1. My MIL is awesome! I’m blessed with a wonderful mother & an equally amazing MIL! I love & respect both of them. I hope that neither of them have things that they want to say but don’t because I hope we have an open enough relationship to speak their mind!

      1. You are in a very lucky situation. My MIL is a horrible, hateful woman. I try to be respectful of her, I spend a certain amount of time holding my breath or chanting “she raised my husband” so that I don’t say something I will be sorry for. She doesn’t want me around the nieces and nephews (her grandchildren) and she is critical of everything the people who married her children do (except for the one rich son-in-law, he can do no wrong). You are very lucky. My own mother is a wonderful woman, who asks for little, and when we do anything for her she is grateful. My MIL is not an easy person to ever be around – I won’t miss her when she is gone someday. Actually, I will be relieved.

        1. My dad’s mother treated my mom the same way. Sad, because she lived across the street but never wanted anything to do with us, the 6 grandkids. When she passed away, none of us felt anything, because we never really knew her. When mom’s mother passed away, in ’76, we still mourn.

          1. That’s her decision. If she wants to exclude her daughter in law, which will mean excluding her own son, then she’s free to make that choice.

          2. No, she wants to exclude her daughter-in-law but thinks she can still maintain the same relationship with her son. The bible says “leave and cleave” and any good mother-in-law would not try to interrupt that bond.

          3. Agreed. My mom never automatically takes my side when I’m having problems with him. She’s objective and sides with who she thinks is right, whoever that is. Which is awesome because 1. My long term happiness is more important to her than protecting my ego, and 2. I can actually go to her with problems knowing I’ll get a good answer and not just a “poor baby did he hurt you I’ll kill him” response. And more often than not, she gives him the benefit of the doubt over me, so I can grow more in my relationship. In the moment it’s frustrating, but afterwards I really appreciate it. That’s true motherly support.

        2. Surely you had to know that this was something you would have to deal with before you married your husband? I hope you can come to a place where your relationship with your MIL is a decent, civil one.

          FUTURE BRIDES – Be forewarned: Let this be a lesson to you! You are not only marrying your husband; you are marrying his family as well. Find out before you marry him whether you are going to be able to live with his parent(s). It doesn’t magically become better after you are married. Thank God my husband has a great family.

      2. I also had a fantastic mother in law. A true lady, teacher, and had the same common interest. It wasn’t difficult at all. We actually taught each other at times. She was gentle with criticisms (like when I shrunk her laundry – oops). She had 6 hellions, I was one of six. Fair play.

      3. I try to be understanding because one day I’ll be someone’s MIL–God willing. And I do have a good one–one who loves me very much. But she’s not MY mother and her ideas of proper conduct and child-rearing are so different from how I was raised that sometimes it creates friction. When I get too frustrated, I just call my mother so I can hear her say “You and your spouse are adults, do what you like and tell everyone else to back off.” LOL.

      4. You are lucky. I think a lot of women are jealous and cannot appreciate another unless they are queen bee. And they aren’t queen bee if you even have one tiny little thing better. Including my own mother. How sad. And how much they miss out on. Feel sorry for them but it is best to cut these toxic people out of your life!

        1. Oh, I see now. You’re not happy unless the world is revolving around you. Guess what sweet cheeks, it doesn’t.

          1. What? Wow you completely missed my point. I was saying the exact opposite. Talk about being self-absorbed….

          2. Wow! You completely missed the point. I was saying the exact opposite. Talk about being self-absorbed

          3. You a real piece of work. Selfish, lacking any empathy for another, not understanding the great blessings you have received in life by a close family, etc… There is real suffering and pain out there with people that have not only been completely deprived of family but profoundly betrayed by them as well. And your choice is to simply to add to the misery. Your smug attitude will catch up hard and fast to you.

          4. I mean, it’s just odd the way you respond to a lot of comments. It appears that you seem to think you are the only person in the world who has ever experienced hurt or loss or heartache or A Terrible Tragedy [I obviously don’t know the specifics]. But the fact is, a lot of people have. Many many people. You seem to brandish whatever experience you have had like a sword to cut others down- “I have had BAD THINGS HAPPEN- *I* wasn’t LUCKY. *I* get to act this way, because YOU are lucky and YOU have no idea”.

            And I mean, the truth is pretty much everyone has experienced life sucking a whole lot. If they haven’t yet, they will eventually. Cause life is a big piece of suck.

            So, this whole “I’ve been through hell, you have no idea thing” doesn’t make you special. It just makes you angry and bitter and makes people not really want to give you the benefit of the doubt because you seem to think you deserve some kind of badge of honor and a pass to walk all over everyone else.

            But you don’t. You deserve compassion- like everyone else. But that is a different thing. Maybe you don’t realize the effect you have on people, but I doubt that.

            Anyway. It’s interesting to see your interactions. Everyone else is self absorbed. Every single person you interact with makes it about them somehow. They are all awful people. Every single one of them. I am sorry you have such bad luck to run into every awful person on the planet.

          5. Actually, her world (ie. her marriage and perspective on her biological family) DOES revolve around her. Who would be a better judge of her own perception than herself? Does your own world, LoriBelle, not revolve around you? We are all the center of our own universes. I can relate to her post as I, also, have a mother who is toxic and has been removed from my orbit. Perhaps you should put away the snark for a moment and re-read her post. Let your intelligence shine through by not commenting on something that you know nothing about.

    2. My mother in law only likes me if I give her money and then 2 hours later will call me worthless

          1. no worries….she’s old, she’ll die.

    3. I doubt it. My MIL was a gentle lovely soul and you could see that in every one of her six children. I miss her still.

      1. whereas I have spent more than a few moments wishing that my MIL was gone.

    4. I could say the same thing about daughter-in-laws. She doesn’t even want my son to say “I love you Mom.” Most insecure person I have ever met. Everything is about her. Just posted on FB how this is the first year that she and my son have spent Christmas together in years. I don’t know where they’ve been, but it’s not been with either his dad or with me.

      1. You posted that in FB? Well, why doesn´t she want to be with such a “charming” person as you? I wonder…

        1. So, in other words, you think that it is perfectly OK to be jealous of every relationship your spouse has. I was married to a jerk that was so jealous I took my son and left. I also raised my son NOT to be jealous because all it does is destroy lives. He does not have a jealous bone in his body because he learned how not to be.

          Perhaps you should look at yourself if you think that there is something wrong with a son telling his mom or his dad that he loves them.

          1. I hope you witnessed this though. I’m not saying you’re lying, I just hope that you directly witnessed her telling him not to do so. I spent so much energy trying to get my fiancee to talk to his mother, and he simply didn’t want to. I was the one blamed for that. Because of the dynamic, it’s really easy to blame the DIL for everything going wrong, even when directly told that’s not true. It was so incredibly hurtful to be told that she “knows” it’s because of me that he doesn’t talk to her, when I tried so hard to get him to that I finally had to quit because it was causing fights between the two of us.

          2. Then don’t present it as okay for you to be overly jealous of your son’s relationship.

      2. Be honest. Why does her Facebook post bother you? It wasn’t an insulting comment, yet you’re ready to scorch the earth over it.
        Whether or Christmas has been with you, they don’t owe you an explanation. They’re adults. Your son makes his own decisions now, not his mommy.

  112. “8. I’ve got his number.
    When I really want to talk to my son privately, I don’t call your house. I call his cell phone.”

    And as soon as we’re off the phone I call my wife immediately and tell her EVERYTHING we just discussed!  

    This article applies to mothers who have no relationship with their husband because they married solely for the purpose of reproduction. 

    1. And they call the sons cell phone because the wife doesn’t answer the home phone when she knows the mil is calling.

      1. Answering Machines that show the name of the caller don’t exist anymore.

    2. This may be true in your case, Jon, but not in every case. My 3 children have no home phones and neither do I. We all use cell phones and so do their spouses. I seldom call their spouses because they seem too busy to talk to me. I call my children but I don’t waste time criticizing their spouses. I can trust my children not to blab every word I say even if I do tell them something in confidence. We all enjoy good relationships built on trust and respect not deceit and slander. And by the way, my husband and I have been happily married for 42 years.

      1. You should never ask a married son or daughter to keep secrets for you and not tell their spouse!

      2. If you don’t want it to be repeated, you shouldn’t say it at all. Especially if its about there spouse!

        1. And the husband does tell and thats when the trouble starts. Then his then hes in the middle.
          And wife thinks he should take her side mother want him on her side its a tug of war.

          1. One that the wife should automatically win. Wife is #1 priority. His mother will always be extended family, but the wife is *the* family now.

          2. Excuse me, Ms. Hart, but you need to read more and talk more to more people–people don’t always look at this family situation in the same way, with the same priorities as you–or me. I have met people who always prioritize their parents before spouses and children, others who try to be fair to all, and still others who prioritize their spouses and children. We are not all the same with the same values….

          3. I guess I don’t understand why you would marry someone that wasn’t your priority. What’s the point?

          4. People like to say just because something is different doesn’t mean it’s wrong. This situation is wrong. You pledged your life to someone, you vowed your everything to someone and she pledged and vowed to you. Your lives are dedicated to each other. And yet you’re letting other people take priority? So disrespectful.

          5. God, spouse, children those are the priorities. Period. But there’s always lots of room for more where there’s lots of love.

      3. Doesn’t sound like you all enjoy “good relationships” or their spouses wouldn’t be too busy to talk. Or is that your excuse for making no effort? And if you’re relationship is not built on deceit and slander what would there be to blab about that you wouldn’t want blabed? I don’t know – lots of contradictions in your short little paragraph here alone. Can’t imagine what it’s like n real life. What amazes me is how you don’t realize how transparent you are. To everyone.

        1. Boy, you three really misunderstood what I was talking about – Cammy, tired, and TheCatholicGirl! After reading your posts, I am soooo glad I have the two wonderful daughters-in-law and the wonderful son-in-law I have. I don’t owe any of you an explanation, but I’ll give it anyway. My kids-in-law are too busy to talk because they are professionals who work very hard and very long hours to help my kids have nice homes and families. I don’t gossip about them to my kids, but sometimes I confide my fears about my OWN shortcomings and weaknesses to my children and I feel I can trust them not to demean me to their spouses or children. We all get along just fine because we all love each other and God and our country. You should understand a little about that, Catholic Girl. Unlike any of you, they would never have jumped to the conclusions you did or judged me for what I said without any investigation at all! I can see that this has become not merely a comment thread on an article, but a hate mothers-in-law forum. Are you all so disgruntled with yours that you cannot imagine what it’s like to have one you could actually like? If so, I feel sorry for all of you. Mine has been gone for nearly 34 years and I still love her and miss her dearly. I’m glad I’m transparent, I’d rather be perfectly clear than full of darkness and subtle deception, Ms Roman Catholic.

          1. You should not be asking your children to keep secrets from your children. Period. That is wrong. The marriage relationship is the first relationship and you should respect that. Whether you realize it or not (and I find it impossible that you do not understand this), you are undermining their relationship. If you need to say something that needs to be kept in ‘confidence’ you don’t need to say it at all. Your little attack on my character and integrity was unjustified and unwarranted. I struck to only what you said. Maybe you were just projecting. Grow up. You’re too old to get away with acting like such a b*tch.

          2. Your husband is NOT your property. He’s a living breathing being just as you. So remove yourself from your mom and dad as you expect your husband to do his. After all, it’s only “right” that you do as you expect your husband to do.

          3. You are evidently too young to not realize that boundaries are important and enmeshment is unhealthy. Look it up- being the same person means not having a backbone. [hint: swearing at someone does not mean you have a backbone and it certainly does not indicate maturity]

            People can decide for themselves how to manage their own relationships, though. Which means you can decide to become your significant other- a mother can confide in her married children about concerns and expect them to keep her confidence and her children can decide what to share at their own discretion.

            OPINION: There is a clear difference between having your own life, thoughts, opinions, behaviors and “keeping secrets”. Huge. Failure to see the difference really indicates lack of trust from one or both parties.

          4. I’m a lot older and a lot more mature than you. And being to Hell and back Ive earned the right to swear. Sto your judgements. Your clueless.

          5. Biological age does not really indicate maturity, and you can still be young. Which is why you think a right to swear means it’s appropriate. A grown woman calling oneself a girl does not indicate maturity.

            But ok- you have been through more hell than me, and we both now know each other intimately because we’ve had a little discussion on the internet, right?

            …do you know how old I am, biologically, by chance? Have a lovely rest of your week. : ]

          6. You’re the one who started this condescending conversation with your sweeping and absurd conclusions. And that’s how I can tell your age and generation.

          7. You’ve been nothing but condescending from your very first word you wrote. Perhaps you will be a mil one of these days. I hope you get a dil just as hateful as you. Karma.

          8. You are very strange person. You just repeated my words. You have real issues. You don’t know me and you don’t know the situation. Yet you think you do and find it perfectly acceptable to judge me. That’s ridiculous. We’re on a forum. I am judging your behavior here. Which is terrible. It’s pretty clear you have never had experience with people with serious personality disorders. Maybe youre the one that tortures everyone. I know my mother in law thinks she’s perfect too. She’s has three dils and hated them all. My husband now believes she very much contributed to the demise of his first two marriages. She’s done some awful hateful extreme acts of betrayal. She believes she’s her sons wife. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Yes your lucky if you don’t have disturbed people in your life. I’m done here. I don’t talk to toxic judgmental people anymore who think they know everything. Garner some humility and some empathy.

          9. “Don’t judge me” yet you say it’s perfectly fine to judge me? Tell the truth, you don’t like the fact that I point out the hypocrisy of what you write . You have a lot of issues. Bless your heart.

          10. Oh, please–waving the flag, employing the automatic cliche’, “God and country”? Maybe you really believe what you say, but I don’t. I’m a vigorous, 70 year old intellectual, who has lived in three U.S. states and has known a wide variety of people–quite an education indeed. If communication clarity is/was the problem here, whose fault was that?–Yours. Plenty of people really love their in-laws, including me, so THAT red herring won’t help you….

        2. There is something to be said for picking and choosing where you expend your energy. most people who are beyond “girl” in their life get this. You don’t have to be a best friend to have a healthy and good relationship.

      4. Since 2001, I have had three separate cell company service providers, and all of them have experienced service problems at times. If possible, best to have a cheap, local landline (15 mile map radius/service area). You may actually experience an emergency at home–most people do, sooner or later; that should not shock you.

      5. What cell phone doesn’t show the incoming/outgoing numbers? I have an old flip phone that does that.

    3. I have no idea why on earth you tell your wife everything. Boundaries- they’re healthy.

      1. i suppose that’s partially true; sure, I don’t tell the wife I lift my heels when i p 00p or look before flushing, but just about any other “boundary” should be considered a close walk next to dishonesty.

        1. It is or it isn’t dishonest. There’s not an “almost” there.

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