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Yeah—and here are the worst possible relationship lies you can tell. (By the way, the number one trait women (and men) are looking for when dating is kindness; check out the other top traits. And dishonesty is the absolute worst. While it’s a broad term, but any kind of dishonesty should be should be an immediate deal-breaker, according to New York psychotherapist, Melissa Divaris Thompson.
That includes dishonesty about:
- Age: “Who can be interested in a guy who feels the need to misrepresent his age?” asks 51-year old Lara Nolan, who won’t date anyone whose actual age turns out to be different from the age on his online dating profile. “What does that say about how he feels about my age? Or aging in general? It’s just unacceptable.”
- Marital status: It goes without saying that if a married man claims he’s single, it’s a deal-breaker, but what about a man who claims he’s divorced when he’s actually only separated? Psychiatrist Susan Edelman, MD, says that’s a deal breaker too. Sure, he may “feel” divorced and “feel” like he’s ready to move on, but you still have to wonder what else he’s being dishonest about.
- Height: It seems pointless to lie about one’s height, but it’s fairly common for men to add an inch or two in their online profiles. Height can be a deal breaker for some women, says the founder of Elite Dating Managers, who goes by the name “Isabel.” But lying about it won’t help. It just creates a second deal-breaker.
Not all lies are outright lies, however. Some are lies of omission. “Obviously, being married is a deal-breaker,” says 51-year old divorcee, Mia Winner. “But I’ve learned that with some guys, you actually have to ask before they’ll tell you.”
Being out of work is a deal-breaker for virtually all of Isabel’s clients, and it’s not because her clients are gold-diggers. In fact, most of Isabel’s clients have great jobs and can provide for themselves. But being unemployed implies that you’re not where you want to be. If you’re in transition, then it’s difficult to truly be available (no matter how much you wish you were or think you are).
If you’re a man who’s unemployed, however, don’t panic, and definitely don’t take the first job you’re offered, certainly not for the sole purpose of scoring a date.