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27 Things Your Pizza Guy Won’t Tell You

Love pizza? Get smarter about service with our list of things pizza delivery people wish you knew before dialing in your order.

iStock/Miodrag Gajic

It's a pizza, not a lifetime commitment

My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Just make sure it's not the worst pizza topping of all time.


We know when kids are prank-calling us

They can’t mask their voices very well. The smart ones block the phone number. The dumb ones don’t.

iStock/Dan Moore

Patience, please

Even if you're ordering from the best pizzeria in your state, it takes about 20 minutes to go from raw dough to fully baked pizza. And then I have to drive to your house.

iStock/sergio kumer

Why won't we deliver to some neighborhoods?

In some neighborhoods, a kid getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, “Rob me! I have cash!” I signed up to be a pizza delivery service driver, not a target.


I'm a human being

When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it’s not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions.


Accidents happen

If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I’ll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right. That's not even our worst offense; listen to these dirty secrets restaurant kitchen crews won't tell you.

iStock/Pablo Calvo

Use your manners

When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It’s basic cell phone etiquette that most people forget to follow.


Before you open the door,

I’d prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).

iStock/Izabela Habur

Tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order

If you order a lot of pizza—say, hundreds of dollars’ worth, for a party or something—but give me a $1 tip, well, I’m going to have a problem with that. You'll also want to take note of what the delivery man had to go through on the way to your house—here's how much you should tip for pizza delivery service when the weather's bad.

iStock/Evren Ata Deniz

I remember every customer who doesn't tip

I won’t do anything to jeopardize my job, but shaking the soda on the next delivery would not be out of the question.

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