50 Chemistry Jokes and Puns Every Science Nerd Will Appreciate
Updated: Apr. 10, 2024
You're sure to get a laugh with these chemistry jokes!
Chemistry jokes for science lovers
Cheesy chemistry jokes
1. How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
2. What did the thermometer say to the measuring cylinder?
“You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.”
3. What is Cole’s Law?
Thinly sliced cabbage.
4. Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a polar bear.
5. What do you call a clown in jail?
A silicon!
6. What do the other elements say about hydrogen?
He’s such a loner!
7. Want to hear a Potassium joke?
K!
8. I think that angry flask completely overreacted.
9. Make like a proton and stay positive.
10. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
11. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed!
12. What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate)?
Double time.
13. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
14. What do you call a nonsensical felon?
A silicon.
15. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite thing to teach about?
Ammonia, because it’s pretty basic stuff.
Periodic table chemistry jokes
16. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar.
“OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
17. Want to hear a joke about sodium, bromine and oxygen?
NaBrO.
18. Did you hear about oxygen’s date with potassium?
It went OK.
19. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
20. What’s the difference between chemistry jokes and physics jokes?
Chemistry jokes can be funny periodically, but physics jokes have more potential.
21. Anyone know any short jokes about sodium?
Na.
22. I wish I was adenine.
Then I could get paired with U.
23. What element is a girl’s future best friend?
Carbon.
24. What did silver say to gold at the bar?
“Au, get outta here!”
Chemical reaction chemistry jokes
25. Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy’s base.
26. Two chemists walk into a bar.
One says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O too.” The second chemist dies.
27. Did you hear the one about cobalt, radon and yttrium?
It was CoRnY.
28. If H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing and lots of other daily activities.
29. Why do chemists find working with ammonia easy?
Because it’s pretty basic stuff.
30. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
31. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.
I heard they really bonded.
32. If you’re not part of the solution—you’re part of the precipitate.
33. A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs.
“For you, no charge.”
34. Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you?
Because I see no reaction.
Too much science? Check out these hilarious Thesaurus jokes next.
Funny chemistry puns
35. I would tell another chemistry joke…
…but all the good ones Argon.
36. What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep telling them until you get a reaction.
37. I tried writing jokes about the periodic table…
…but I realized I wasn’t quite in my element.
38. Someone threw sodium chloride at me.
I yelled, “That’s a salt!”
39. What’s a chemist’s favorite type of dog?
A Laboratory retriever.
40. What’s Iron Man’s favorite amusement park ride?
The ferrous wheel.
41. What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song?
Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE!
42. I think these jokes are sodium funny.
In fact, I slapped my neon that one!
43. What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
44. What element derives from a Norse god?
Thorium.
45. My chemistry experiment exploded.
It’s OK, oxidants happen.
46. What should you do with a dead chemist?
Barium!
47. The proton is not speaking to the other proton, he’s mad atom.
48. What was Avogadro’s favorite sport?
Golf, because he always got a mole-in-one.
49. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates!
50. Chemists are so happy in the lab because they’re in their element.
Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Reader’s Digest runs it.
Originally Published: May 21, 2018
