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36 Math Jokes to Get Every Nerd Through Pi Day

Celebrate March 14—aka Pi Day—with these corny math jokes, puns, and one-liners. Don't worry: Unlike pi, it won't go on forever.

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Punny Pi Jokes

Like my favorite middle-school teacher always said: The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are derivative, trig jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are just basic.  (But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.)

If you are cringing right now, you know how my entire 8th grade math class felt every day. However, it is important to know a few good jokes for every occasion—even if only the smarty pants in the room will get them. Some of the best math jokes center around pi and Pi Day (3/14). Sure, there are really interesting pi facts out there, but these jokes prove that math can be funny, too. If you’re looking for ways to celebrate Pi Day, one way to enjoy it is to indulge in these 30+ hilarious math jokes.

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Why should you never talk to pi?

Because he’ll just go on forever.

Math-Jokes-To-Get-Every-Nerd-Through-Pi-DayTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock

Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?

Because they can’t even.

RELATED: 25 Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart

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 Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

RELATED: What Is Mental Math? Tricks to Help You Ditch the Calculator

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What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?

A cow pi.

Math-Jokes-To-Get-Every-Nerd-Through-Pi-DayTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

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Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river?

It was three feet deep on average.

RELATED: 12 Math Riddles Only the Smartest Can Get Right

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Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

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What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A roamin’ numeral.

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Three statisticians go out hunting together.

After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out, “We got him!”

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Did you hear the one about the statistician?

Probably.

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How do mathematicians scold their children?

“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”

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Old mathematicians never die.

They just lose some of their functions.

RELATED: 25 of the Hardest Riddles Ever. Can You Solve Them?

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Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the same side.

A Professional Chef Reveals the Surprising (and Only) Way You Should Be Making French ToastTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock

What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?

It just becomes beer.

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Why do mathematicians like parks?

Because of all the natural logs.

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Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says, “I’ll have a quarter of a beer.” Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your limits.”

A Professional Chef Reveals the Surprising (and Only) Way You Should Be Making French ToastTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s too bad they’ll never meet.

A Professional Chef Reveals the Surprising (and Only) Way You Should Be Making French ToastTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com, istock

Why should you never mention the number 288?

It’s two gross.

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Why was the math lecture so long?

Because the professor kept going off on a tangent.

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Why can math books be so depressing?

Because they’re filled with problems.

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When is math like poetry?

When you do an in’verse variation.

RELATED: Word Nerds Have Found the Perfect Way to Celebrate Pi Day, and You Should Join Them

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Math is a part of nature.

Especially geometry (geome’ tree.)

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What kind of math do you learn in English class?

Add-verbs and add-jectives.

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What’s the best way to woo a mathematician?

Use acute angle.

RELATED: 20 Grammar Jokes Every Word Nerd Will Appreciate

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The moon’s not made of cheese.

It’s a pi in the sky!

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What do you need to grow your trigonometry skills?

Square roots.

RELATED: 85 Corny Jokes Everyone Will Laugh at to Celebrate National Tell a Joke Day

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Why does algebra make you a better dancer?

Because you can use algo-rhythm.

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What’s the best way to visualize infinity?

With a pi chart!

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What kind of snake does your math teacher own?

A pi-thon

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What TV show can help you grasp infinite numbers?

Magnum P.I.

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What’s the ideal way to serve pi?

A la mode! Anything less is mean.

RELATED: This Is How Apple Pie Became America’s Favorite Dessert

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Where should you do your math homework?

On a multiplication table.

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What’s the best formula to get from point A to point B?

Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.

Math-Jokes-To-Get-Every-Nerd-Through-Pi-DayTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com

Where do mathematicians party?

In bar graphs.

Math-Jokes-To-Get-Every-Nerd-Through-Pi-DayTatiana Ayazo/Rd.com

How do you do math in your head?

Use imaginary numbers.

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Don’t let advanced math intimidate you!

It’s as easy as pi!