50 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At
Some bad jokes only deserve eye rolls and groans. But somehow, these manage to still be funny.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom…
… and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these short jokes anyone can memorize.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny!
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All it was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the “no-bell” prize. Check out these jokes that sum up the history of the world.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They’re both purple except for the rabbit. Here are 21 more anti-jokes you can’t help but laugh at.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I like elephants.
Everything else is irrelephant.
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.
What do you call a fake noodle?
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space. You won’t want to miss these 20 hilarious science jokes.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Love animals? Check out these hilarious vet office signs that will make you LOL.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot.
The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the cake was in tiers.
Why don’t dinosaurs talk?
Because they’re dead.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
What did the mime say to his audience?
Nothing. He held his character because he’s a professional. Next time there’s an uncomfortable silence at work, try these work jokes that can diffuse any awkward situation.
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.
It’s a faux pa. More awful but funny dad jokes.
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
My new thesaurus is terrible.
Not only that, but it’s also terrible. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
What did Blackbird say when he turned 80?
“Aye, matey.” Here are 21 scurvy pirate jokes ye should tell the rest o’ ye crew.
Three fish are in a tank.
One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
A polar bear.
What do you call a man who can’t stand?
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…
… but then I turned myself around. You’ll definitely want to see the best jokes from your favorite comedians.
Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?
They were cooked in Greece.
I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.
Wife: “How do I look?”
Husband: “With your eyes.” Now that’s a dad joke if we ever heard one. Here are more groan-worthy dad jokes you’ll still laugh at.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Have you heard the rumor about butter?
Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.