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175 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At

Some bad jokes only deserve eye rolls and groans. But somehow, these manage to still be funny.

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Knock knock.rd.com

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c–

MOO!

We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book.

2 / 176
If you're American when you go in the bathroom…rd.com

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom…

… and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European. Check out these daily life cartoons that will crack you up.

3 / 176
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?rd.com

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam.

Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these short jokes anyone can memorize.

4 / 176
What do you call a fish with no eyes?rd.com

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh. Take a look at these funny tombstones that really exist.

5 / 176
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?rd.com

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener! These funny work cartoons will help you get through the week.

6 / 176
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?rd.com

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny! Check out the funniest jokes on the internet.

7 / 176
There are three types of people in the world:rd.com

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart.

8 / 176
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?rd.com

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way. These hilarious animal cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans.

9 / 176
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.rd.com

Two muffins were sitting in an oven.

One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!” For more laughs, check out these travel cartoons that find the funny in everything.

10 / 176
I sold my vacuum the other day.rd.com

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle.

11 / 176
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?rd.com

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?

1forrest1.

12 / 176
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?rd.com

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

13 / 176
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?rd.com

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

14 / 176
What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? 14rd.com

What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?

They’re both purple except for the rabbit. This joke made be bad, but these other “what’s the difference between” jokes are hilarious!

15 / 176
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.rd.com

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.” These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet.

16 / 176
I like elephants.rd.com

I like elephants.

Everything else is irrelephant. Read more elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs!

17 / 176
What’s red and bad for your teeth?rd.com

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

18 / 176
Two guys walk into a bar.rd.com

Two guys walk into a bar.

The third guy ducks.

19 / 176
What do you call a fake noodle?rd.com

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta. If you thought this was funny, you’ll love these other hilarious what do you call jokes.

20 / 176
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?rd.com

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

For drizzle. Here are more awful but funny dad jokes.

21 / 176
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?rd.com

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed some space.

22 / 176
What do you call an alligator in a vest?rd.com

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator.

23 / 176
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?rd.com

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality. Thought that was good? You’ll love these tea puns!

24 / 176
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.rd.com

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

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Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?rd.com

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

26 / 176
The wedding was so beautiful.rd.com

The wedding was so beautiful.

Even the cake was in tiers.

27 / 176
Why don’t dinosaurs talk?rd.com

Why don’t dinosaurs talk?

Because they’re dead. Don’t forget to check out these dinosaur jokes for more laughs!

28 / 176
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.rd.com

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Get it?

29 / 176
What do you call a fly with no wings?rd.com

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

30 / 176
What did the mime say to his audience?rd.com

What did the mime say to his audience?

Nothing. He held his character because he’s a professional. Check out these jokes that sum up the history of the world.

31 / 176
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?rd.com

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?rd.com

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies!”

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It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.rd.com

It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.

It’s a faux pa.

34 / 176
What did the buffalo say when his son left?rd.com

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Bison!

35 / 176
What’s green and has wheels?rd.com

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels. Here are 21 more anti-jokes you can’t help but laugh at.

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My new thesaurus is terrible.rd.com

My new thesaurus is terrible.

Not only that, but it’s also terrible.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?rd.com

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

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What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?rd.com

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

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What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?rd.com

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

“Oops!” If biology is more your thing, check out these biology jokes that really cell themselves.

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What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80?rd.com

What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80?

“Aye, matey.” Here are 21 scurvy pirate jokes ye should tell the rest o’ ye crew.

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Three fish are in a tank.rd.com

Three fish are in a tank.

One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

42 / 176
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?rd.com

What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear.

43 / 176
What do you call a man who can’t stand?rd.com

What do you call a man who can’t stand?

Neil.

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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…rd.com

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…

… but then I turned myself around.

45 / 176
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?rd.com

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece. Now that’s a dad joke if we ever heard one. Here are more groan-worthy dad jokes you’ll still laugh at.

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I don’t trust stairs.rd.com

I don’t trust stairs.

They’re always up to something.

47 / 176
Wife: "How do I look?"rd.com

Wife: “How do I look?”

Husband: “With your eyes.”

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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?rd.com

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Have you heard the rumor about butter?rd.com

Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

50 / 176
Why do bees have sticky hair?rd.com

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs. Love animals? Check out these hilarious vet office signs that will make you LOL.

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I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. rd.com

I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. 

Sadly, no pun in ten did. 

52 / 176
RIP, boiled water. rd.com

RIP, boiled water. 

You will be mist. 

53 / 176
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?  53rd.com

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? 

Phillipe Floppe. 

54 / 176
eBay is so useless. rd.com

eBay is so useless. 

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. 

55 / 176
Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? rd.com

Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? 

Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. We can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons right now.

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I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. rd.com

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. 

I call it my trail mix. 

57 / 176
What do you do if you see a fireman? rd.com

What do you do if you see a fireman? 

Put it out, man! 

58 / 176
That’s a pretty good ceiling.rd.com

That’s a pretty good ceiling.

 

It’s not the best, but it’s up there! 

59 / 176
I wrote a song about a tortilla. rd.com

I wrote a song about a tortilla. 

Actually, it’s more of a wrap. 

60 / 176
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? rd.com

What kind of shorts do clouds wear? 

Thunderwear. You won’t want to miss these 20 hilarious science jokes.

61 / 176
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? rd.com

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 

It’s ok, he woke up. 

62 / 176
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? rd.com

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? 

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. 

63 / 176
Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees? rd.com

Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees? 

Because they’re pretty good at it. 

64 / 176
You want to go down to the bar to hear that band called Duvet? rd.com

You want to go down to the bar to hear that band called Duvet? 

They’re a cover band. 

65 / 176
Why are blonde jokes so short? rd.com

Why are blonde jokes so short? 

So men can remember them. Next time there’s an uncomfortable silence at work, try these work jokes that can diffuse any awkward situation.

66 / 176
What do you call a crocodile that is also a detective? rd.com

What do you call a crocodile that is also a detective? 

An investi-gator. 

67 / 176
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...rd.com

The only thing flat earthers have to fear...

…is sphere itself. 

68 / 176
Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense. rd.com

Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense. 

What are you talking about, they all make scents!

69 / 176
Where did Noah keep his bees? rd.com

Where did Noah keep his bees? 

In the Ark Hives. 

70 / 176
Where does the sheep go to get a haircut?rd.com

Where does the sheep go to get a haircut?

The baa baa shop. You’ll definitely want to see the best jokes from your favorite comedians.

71 / 176
What genre are national anthems? rd.com

What genre are national anthems? 

Country. 

72 / 176
I hate Russian dolls. rd.com

I hate Russian dolls. 

They’re so full of themselves. 

73 / 176
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. rd.com

A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. 

“That’s one too many!” says the customer. The clerk replies “It’s a freebie.” 

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I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. rd.com

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. 

You might not believe me, but I saw it with my own eyes. 

75 / 176
Did you adopt your dog? rd.com

Did you adopt your dog? 

No, he’s my biological dog. Can’t get enough bad jokes? Don’t miss our favorite corny jokes everyone will laugh at.

76 / 176
I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room. rd.com

I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room. 

They said, “Thank you.” I said, “Don’t mention it.” 

77 / 176
A limbo champ walks into a bar. rd.com

A limbo champ walks into a bar. 

He loses. 

78 / 176
When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees rd.com

When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees 

Sycamore 

79 / 176
How do you make holy water? rd.com

How do you make holy water? 

You boil the hell out of it. 

80 / 176
What’s the leading cause of dry skin? rd.com

What’s the leading cause of dry skin? 

Towels. There are sarcastic jokes that harm, and witty jokes that heal. Guess which category this falls into?

81 / 176
What did the frustrated cat say? rd.com

What did the frustrated cat say? 

Are you kitten me right meow? Cat hiss ridiculous. 

82 / 176
When does a joke become a dad joke? rd.com

When does a joke become a dad joke? 

When it becomes apparent. 

83 / 176
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. rd.com

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. 

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though. 

84 / 176
I got fired from my job at the bank today. rd.com

I got fired from my job at the bank today. 

An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. 

85 / 176
My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning.rd.com

My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning.

It’s a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at you, but we have 50 jokes here for all 50 states.

86 / 176
Why are there so many different kinds of pasta? rd.com

Why are there so many different kinds of pasta? 

If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question. 

87 / 176
What did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers? rd.com

What did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers? 

I’m not much of a boxer, but I’ll wrestle you for it. 

88 / 176
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident? rd.com

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peeka-boo accident? 

To the I.C.U. 

89 / 176
Nurse: Blood type? rd.com

Nurse: Blood type? 

Dad: Red. By the way, you’ll love these nurse jokes that are RN-believably funny. 

90 / 176
A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, “19! 19! 19! 19!” Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. rd.com

A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, “19! 19! 19! 19!” Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. 

Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting, “20! 20! 20!” Here are the best jokes from A-Z!

91 / 176
I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married. rd.com

I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married. 

The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was amazing. 

92 / 176
What do you call a magician who lost their magic? rd.com

What do you call a magician who lost their magic? 

Ian. 

93 / 176
Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? rd.com

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 

They always take things literally. 

94 / 176
What do you call a blind dinosaur? rd.com

What do you call a blind dinosaur? 

A do-you-think-he-saurus. 

95 / 176
I had a chip implanted in my body. rd.com

I had a chip implanted in my body. 

It was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum! Here are our 50 funniest jokes ever

96 / 176
Why is Peter Pan always flying? rd.com

Why is Peter Pan always flying? 

He neverlands. We love this joke because it never grows old. 

97 / 176
To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. rd.com

To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. 

Sounds easy but the process is painstaking. 

98 / 176
What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them?rd.com

What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them?

NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! 

99 / 176
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?” rd.com

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?” 

“Pop,” goes the weasel. 

100 / 176
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?rd.com

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Phillipe Floppe. This is objectively funny, like these 9 jokes that are proven funny by research.

101 / 176
Today I gave my dead batteries away.rd.com

Today I gave my dead batteries away.

They were free of charge.

102 / 176
Why do ghosts love elevators?rd.com

Why do ghosts love elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

103 / 176
Five guys walk into a bar.rd.com

Five guys walk into a bar.

You think one of them would’ve seen it.

104 / 176
Who are caterpillars' biggest enemies?rd.com

Who are caterpillars’ biggest enemies?

Dogerpillars.

105 / 176
Why do fish live in saltwater?rd.com

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze. Bless them. Don’t miss these 40 comedians reveal their favorite jokes ever!

106 / 176
Why do you tell actors to break a leg?rd.com

Why do you tell actors to break a leg?

Every play has a cast.

107 / 176
What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?rd.com

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Was.

108 / 176
Someone stole my mood ring.rd.com

Someone stole my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about that.

109 / 176
What kind of dogs love car racing?rd.com

What kind of dogs love car racing?

Lap dogs.

110 / 176
Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?rd.com

Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?

Librarian: They’re right behind you! If you’re more of a movie buff than reader, we’ve got the 15 funniest Oscar jokes for you right here.

111 / 176
My favorite word is “drool.”rd.com

My favorite word is “drool.

It just rolls off the tongue.

112 / 176
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.rd.com

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Do not read it.

113 / 176
What do you call birds who stick together?rd.com

What do you call birds who stick together?

Vel-crows.

114 / 176
I was sitting in traffic the other day.rd.com

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

115 / 176
I’m terrified of elevators...rd.com

I’m terrified of elevators...

…so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them. You can also try asking Siri for a joke if you need one in a pinch. We rated virtual assistants’ senses of humor!

116 / 176
Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?rd.com

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meatball.

117 / 176
What do you get from a pampered cow?rd.com

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk. If you thought this was funny, you’ll love our other cow jokes!

118 / 176
This library has two stories.rd.com

This library has two stories.

Can hardly call it a library.

119 / 176
I like to spend every day as if it’s my last.rd.com

I like to spend every day as if it’s my last.

Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.

120 / 176
Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?rd.com

Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?

The cow’s got the udder. Here are 25 Disney jokes that’ll get you a good laugh, for the moovie fans out there.

121 / 176
How does your feline shop?rd.com

How does your feline shop?

By reading a catalog.

122 / 176
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?rd.com

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?

Satisfactory.

123 / 176
What do you call a dangerous sun shower?rd.com

What do you call a dangerous sun shower?

A rain of terror.

124 / 176
What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?rd.com

What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?

Corny.

125 / 176
What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?rd.com

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?

Its butt. Oop! Try these political jokes on for size at your next family holiday—they’re guaranteed to get you a laugh.

126 / 176
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?rd.com

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

127 / 176
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.rd.com

I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.

Never again.

128 / 176
Parallel lines have so much in common.rd.com

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

129 / 176
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?rd.com

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

“Robin, get in the car.”

130 / 176
I threw a boomerang a few years ago.rd.com

I threw a boomerang a few years ago.

I now live in constant fear. Think you’re funnier than the president? We bet you are. Here are the funniest jokes told by 23 U.S. presidents.

131 / 176
Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?rd.com

Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?

Because crocodooladoo is a good family name. Here are more of the funniest “why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes for you to memorize.

132 / 176
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.rd.com

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

If anything, it made him more sluggish.

133 / 176
My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying.rd.com

My friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying.

It seemed very important to him that I have it. Read these best friend tweets for more laughs.

134 / 176
Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?rd.com

Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly-sliced cabbage.

135 / 176
When you look really closely...rd.com

When you look really closely...

…all mirrors look like eyeballs. Instant classic. History buffs, try some of these jokes!

136 / 176
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?rd.com

Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?

John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord.”

137 / 176
How do you talk to Italian ghosts?rd.com

How do you talk to Italian ghosts?

With a Luigi board.

138 / 176
Time flies like an arrow.rd.com

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana. Don’t forget to bookmark these fruit puns that are berry funny!

139 / 176
Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”rd.com

Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”

The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter.”

140 / 176
What’s E.T. short for?rd.com

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs. Science lovers will science-love these physics jokes!

141 / 176
Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”rd.com

Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”

The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!”

142 / 176
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?rd.com

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

143 / 176
What came first, the chicken or the egg?rd.com

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Safety. Safety always comes first. In the case of these hilarious egg puns, the egg always comes first.

144 / 176
This is your captain speaking.rd.com

This is your captain speaking.

AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

145 / 176
How do you get a squirrel to like you?rd.com

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut. Here are 15 witty bar jokes anyone can remember, for the next time you wanna go a little nuts yourself.

146 / 176
Coroner died.rd.com

Coroner died.

Still went to work. If you thought that was funny, you’ll love these work from home jokes.

147 / 176
Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?rd.com

Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore.

148 / 176
I bought a dog from a locksmith.rd.com

I bought a dog from a locksmith.

The second I got him in the house he made a bolt for the door.

149 / 176
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?rd.com

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

150 / 176
Have you heard the one about the jump rope?rd.com

Have you heard the one about the jump rope?

Never mind, skip it. Check out these 20 food jokes anyone will find funny.

151 / 176
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.rd.com

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

152 / 176
What do you call bears with no ears?rd.com

What do you call bears with no ears?

B.

153 / 176
What’s a foot long and slippery?rd.com

What’s a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

154 / 176
What did the swordfish say to the marlin?rd.com

What did the swordfish say to the marlin?

You’re lookin’ sharp.

155 / 176
What kind of ghost has the best hearing?rd.com

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you’re probably a genius.

156 / 176
Where can you buy soup in bulk?rd.com

Where can you buy soup in bulk?

The stock market.

157 / 176
How do you stop a bull from charging?rd.com

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Cancel its credit card.

158 / 176
What was the frog’s job at the hotel?rd.com

What was the frog’s job at the hotel?

Bellhop.

159 / 176
Why are the Irish so wealthy?rd.com

Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Their capital is Dublin.

160 / 176
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?rd.com

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line. These 9 practical jokes will really make you stop and think.

161 / 176
What kind of shoes do robbers wear?rd.com

What kind of shoes do robbers wear?

Sneakers.

162 / 176
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?rd.com

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

163 / 176
Why are frogs so happy?rd.com

Why are frogs so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.

164 / 176
What do you call banana peel shoes?rd.com

What do you call banana peel shoes?

Slippers.

165 / 176
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?rd.com

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie. Cheese is classic joke fodder. Here are 17 classic light bulb jokes that’ll make you sound smart.

166 / 176
Why were they called the Dark Ages?rd.com

Why were they called the Dark Ages?

There were lots of knights. If you have more of a twisted sense of humor, these dark jokes are for you.

167 / 176
My boss just texted me,rd.com

My boss just texted me,

“Send me one of your funny jokes!”

168 / 176
Want to hear a roof joke?rd.com

Want to hear a roof joke?

This one’s on the house.

169 / 176
What kind of pants does Mario wear?rd.com

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

170 / 176
Where does the general keep his armies?rd.com

Where does the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Here are 9 secrets to telling a great joke, according to comedians.

171 / 176
How does the squid go into battle? 171rd.com

How does the squid go into battle?

Well-armed.

172 / 176
I broke my finger last week.rd.com

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m ok.

173 / 176
Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee?rd.com

Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee?

I use a spoon. Check out these relatable tweets for more laughs.

174 / 176
You’re not completely useless. 174rd.com

You’re not completely useless.

You can always serve as a bad example. By the way, we’re serving up these ice cream puns just for you—check them out!

175 / 176
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? rd.com

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? 

Same middle name.  Here are 15 simple (and silly) April Fool’s jokes to play on your kids.

176 / 176
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?rd.com

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Sources:

  • Buzzfeed, “21 Clean Jokes That Are So Dumb They’re Actually Funny”
  • Buzzfeed, “21 Dad Jokes So Ridiculous, I’m Almost Mad At Myself For Laughing”
  • Buzzfeed, “18 Punny Jokes That Have No Right To Be As Hilarious As They Are”
  • Buzzfeed, “100 Dad Jokes You’re Going To Hate Laughing At So Hard”
  • Buzzfeed, “If You’re Tired Of The Same Old Dad Jokes, Here Are 19 Very Funny New Ones”
  • Buzzfeed, “23 Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Good”
  • Buzzfeed, “Sorry, But There’s No Way You Won’t At Least Smile At Any Of These Dad Jokes”
  • Buzzfeed, “25 Jokes And Puns From National Tell A Joke Day That Might Make You Roll Your Eyes”
  • Buzzfeed, “13 Absolutely Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies”
  • Buzzfeed, “Every Weird And Awkward Person Will Find These 17 Tweets Hilarious For No Particular Reason”
  • Buzzfeed, “Reddit Is Sharing Their Best Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones”
  • Buzzfeed, “17 Dad Jokes That Made Me Groan, Roll My Eyes, And Then Repeat To My Friends”
  • Buzzfeed, “18 Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Even If You’re Having A Bad Day”
  • Buzzfeed, “27 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids That Are Actually Funny”
  • Buzzfeed, “19 Twitter Jokes That Are Just Very, Very Funny”
  • Buzzfeed, “We All Love Dad Jokes — But How Many Of The Punchlines Do You Actually Know?”
  • Best Life, “150 Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny”
  • Bored Panda, “52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever”
  • Reddit, “What’s a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?”
  • Best Life, “40 Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At”
  • Parade, Ha Ha Ha—101 Corny Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny Good” 
  • Fatherly, “55 Great Clean Jokes for Funny People Who Don’t Swear”

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