Share on Facebook

175 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At

Some bad jokes only deserve eye rolls and groans. But somehow, these manage to still be funny.

Two friends talking and laughingTim Robberts/Getty Images

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting c–


We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book.

Close up portrait of beautiful young black woman laughing against wallmimagephotography/Shutterstock

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom…

… and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European. Check out these daily life cartoons that will crack you up.

Portrait of a beautiful senior Mexican Womanadamkaz/Getty Images

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?


Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these short jokes anyone can memorize.

Portrait of laughing girlWestend61/Getty Images

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh. Take a look at these funny tombstones that really exist.

Senior woman and adult daughter laughing on porchMoMo Productions/Getty Images

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener! These funny work cartoons will help you get through the week.

Laughing babe in bed, overhead viewsanneberg/Shutterstock

What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?

Get it? Bad jokes don’t even need a punch line to be funny! Check out the funniest jokes on the internet.

Senior woman enjoying a laugh with her granddaughter. They are sitting on the sofa together.DGLimages/Shutterstock

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t. Check out these 25 clever jokes that’ll make you sound smart.

group of multiethnic senior friends spending time togetherLightField Studios/Shutterstock

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way. These hilarious animal cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans.

Happy friends holding each

Two muffins were sitting in an oven.

One turned to the other and said, “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here.” The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!” For more laughs, check out these travel cartoons that find the funny in everything.

Young mother with her 6 years old little son dressed in pajamas are relaxing and playing in the bed at the weekend together, lazy morning, warm and cozy scene.Alena Ozerova/Shutterstock

I sold my vacuum the other day.

All it was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle.

Portrait OF Young Boy SmilingTom Werner/Getty Images

What is Forrest Gump’s email password?


Portrait of a beautiful liitle girl close-upTatyana Vyc/Shutterstock

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

Man and woman dating in cafeOlena Yakobchuk/Shutterstock

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

Two black race friends having fun with mobile. Friends Conceptsantypan/Shutterstock

What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum?

They’re both purple except for the rabbit.

Rodeo People Smiling Cowboy PortraitMlenny/Getty Images

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.” These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet.

Senior man talking with his adult sons in garden, close upMonkey Business Images/Shutterstock

I like elephants.

Everything else is irrelephant.

Laughing couple cuddling in a hammockMonkey Business Images/Shutterstock

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Outdoor portrait of happy smiling couple in love having fun together. Young Caucasian man with tenderness looks at his laughing Latin beloved on the background of garlands of lightsshurkin_son/Shutterstock

Two guys walk into a bar.

The third guy ducks.

Senior couple laughing while reading newspaper in bedroomwavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Laughing young woman wearing sunglasses driving a car with her girl friend , close up profile view through the open windowUber Images/Shutterstock

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

For drizzle. Here are more awful but funny dad jokes.

four friends laughingYulai Studio/Shutterstock

Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed some space.

Friends having fun in a cafe.Liderina/Shutterstock

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator.

Closeup portrait of beautiful african young woman laughing against grey wallmimagephotography/Shutterstock

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?


Father and son laughing.pixelheadphoto digitalskillet/Shutterstock

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Outdoor Portrait Of Loving Mother And DaughterMonkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot. Don’t miss these 20 grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

Laughing woman in marine shirt with curly hair over white wall. Toothy smile and red lips.Mark Nazh/Shutterstock

The wedding was so beautiful.

Even the cake was in tiers.

boy is laughing loudly in cafePetrovich Nataliya/Shutterstock

Why don’t dinosaurs talk?

Because they’re dead.

man using his mobile phoneNick David/Getty Images

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Get it?

Experienced mature female chief editor holding glasses in one hand and book in other, laughing at sarcastic style of narration while reading novel of popular author. Writing and publishing conceptshurkin_son/Shutterstock

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

Close up side portrait of happy african american woman laughingmimagephotography/Shutterstock

What did the mime say to his audience?

Nothing. He held his character because he’s a professional. Check out these jokes that sum up the history of the world.

Side view shot of fit young woman standing outdoors, looking away and laughing. Happy female runner in sportswear in morning.Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Happy latin mom and little daughter outside.Ruslana Iurchenko/Shutterstock

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?


Two young pretty girls in casual stylish wear laughing while sitting at cafeDean Drobot/Shutterstock

It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.

It’s a faux pa.

woman laughing while lying on the bed using smartphoneinterstid/Getty Images

What did the buffalo say when his son left?


Senior sportswoman laughing with female friend by sea pierDavid Pereiras/Shutterstock

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels. Here are 21 more anti-jokes you can’t help but laugh at.

Pretty positive young woman with short haircut laughing in urban setting with night lights enjoying leisure time in New York.Happy hipster in stylish wear and eyewear having fun on megapolis streetGaudiLab/Shutterstock

My new thesaurus is terrible.

Not only that, but it’s also terrible.

Young Asian girl whispering gossip or secret to her friend with smile and laughinterstid/Shutterstock

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?


Portrait of two attractive girls dressed in jeans blue and yellow jackets having fun and laughing against a black wall.dekazigzag/Shutterstock

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Closeup cropped portrait of happy and funny brunette woman smiling and laughing with hand on mouth, against nature meadow background with windy hair. People, travel and lifestyle concept. Cover mood.Yuricazac/Shutterstock

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?


Portrait of laughing couple standing together with mobile phonemimagephotography/Shutterstock

What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80?

“Aye, matey.” Here are 21 scurvy pirate jokes ye should tell the rest o’ ye crew.

Portrait of happy young african american woman standing against white backgroundmimagephotography/Shutterstock

Three fish are in a tank.

One asks the others, “How do you drive this thing?”

Coach spending time mentoring a student athlete.digitalskillet/Shutterstock

What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear.

Happy senior African-American woman at home, coffeekali9/Getty Images

What do you call a man who can’t stand?


Business woman in spectacles sitting at her desk in office and laughing. Woman sitting in office with laptop computer on her desk.Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…

… but then I turned myself around.

Close up shot of three young women having fun outdoorsArtem Varnitsin/Shutterstock

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece. Now that’s a dad joke if we ever heard one. Here are more groan-worthy dad jokes you’ll still laugh at.

Portrait of a young, attractive and elegant Indian Asian lady in a warm and cosy cafe. She is laughing in a natural, relaxed manner.mentatdgt/Shutterstock

I don’t trust stairs.

They’re always up to something.

Portrait of smiling young african man sitting at cafe with a friendmimagephotography/Shutterstock

Wife: “How do I look?”

Husband: “With your eyes.”

Mature Female Friends Socializing In Backyard TogetherMonkey Business Images/Shutterstock

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

Cheerful woman looking at friend sitting on bedKlaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

Have you heard the rumor about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t be spreading it.

Fun in the coffee shopCHBD/Getty Images

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs. Love animals? Check out these hilarious vet office signs that will make you LOL.

Senior Woman Sitting In Chair And Laughing With Nurse In Retirement Homemonkeybusinessimages/Getty Images

I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. 

Sadly, no pun in ten did. 

father and daughter laughing in bedroomMoMo Productions/Getty Images

RIP, boiled water. 

You will be mist. 

Portrait of laughing young woman outdoorsWestend61/Getty Images

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? 

Phillipe Floppe. 

Friends chatting in kitchenBen Gold/Getty Images

eBay is so useless. 

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. 

Grandfather and grandson play lying on grass, aerial viewmonkeybusinessimages/Getty Images

Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? 

Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. We can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons right now.

Laughing young woman lying on a bench using cell phoneOliver Rossi/Getty Images

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. 

I call it my trail mix. 

You still tickle my funny bone!PeopleImages/Getty Images

What do you do if you see a fireman? 

Put it out, man! 

Friends dancing and having fun at kitchenFG Trade/Getty Images

That’s a pretty good ceiling.


It’s not the best, but it’s up there! 

Home officefiladendron/Getty Images

I wrote a song about a tortilla. 

Actually, it’s more of a wrap. 

Portrait of woman laughingEmma Kim/Getty Images

What kind of shorts do clouds wear? 

Thunderwear. You won’t want to miss these 20 hilarious science jokes.

Close up cheerful young woman laughing with sunglasses against colourful backgroundm-imagephotography/Getty Images

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 

It’s ok, he woke up. 

Friends laughing and drinking coffee in a cafeWe Are/Getty Images

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? 

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. 

Toddler smiling joyfully at the camera in parkImages By Tang Ming Tung/Getty Images

Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees? 

Because they’re pretty good at it. 

Friends laughing with smart phone, city parkTim Robberts/Getty Images

You want to go down to the bar to hear that band called Duvet? 

They’re a cover band. 

Group of friends cooking at barbecue laughingThomas Barwick/Getty Images

Why are blonde jokes so short? 

So men can remember them. Next time there’s an uncomfortable silence at work, try these work jokes that can diffuse any awkward situation.

Senior woman, African-American friend laughing togetherkali9/Getty Images

What do you call a crocodile that is also a detective? 

An investi-gator. 

Portrait of a redheaded woman, laughing happily on the beachWestend61/Getty Images

The only thing flat earthers have to fear...

…is sphere itself. 

Lesbian couple at home snuggling on couchMoMo Productions/Getty Images

Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense. 

What are you talking about, they all make scents!

Fun Times at Work: Young Plus Size Businesswoman Sharing a Laugh With a Colleague at the OfficeFreshSplash/Getty Images

Where did Noah keep his bees? 

In the Ark Hives. 

Two young stylish female friends sitting doorstep laughingBonfanti Diego/Getty Images

Where does the sheep go to get a haircut?

The baa baa shop. You’ll definitely want to see the best jokes from your favorite comedians.

Laughing man with cup of coffee in a coffee shopWestend61/Getty Images

What genre are national anthems? 


Catching Up With FriendsSolStock/Getty Images

I hate Russian dolls. 

They’re so full of themselves. 

Laughter and affection between father and childElva Etienne/Getty Images

A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. 

“That’s one too many!” says the customer. The clerk replies “It’s a freebie.” 

man using his mobile phoneNick David/Getty Images

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. 

You might not believe me, but I saw it with my own eyes. 

Cheerful mature couple at homeMorsa Images/Getty Images

Did you adopt your dog? 

No, he’s my biological dog. Can’t get enough bad jokes? Don’t miss our favorite corny jokes everyone will laugh at.

Adult woman and senior mother talking on front porchMoMo Productions/Getty Images

I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room. 

They said, “Thank you.” I said, “Don’t mention it.” 

If it makes you laugh you've gotta share itDelmaine Donson/Getty Images

A limbo champ walks into a bar. 

He loses. 

Mother and daughter having funMorsa Images/Getty Images

When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees 


Six year old African American Chinese Ethnicity girl posing for portrait in lush green outdoor back yard settingeyecrave/Getty Images

How do you make holy water? 

You boil the hell out of it. 

Young woman with teenage sisters in car back seat laughing, close upGS Visuals/Getty Images

What’s the leading cause of dry skin? 

Towels. There are sarcastic jokes that harm, and witty jokes that heal. Guess which category this falls into?

Hispanic mother hugging laughing daughterJose Luis Pelaez Inc/Getty Images

What did the frustrated cat say? 

Are you kitten me right meow? Cat hiss ridiculous. 

Happy female friends sending messages with their smartphones in the cityPIKSEL/Getty Images

When does a joke become a dad joke? 

When it becomes apparent. 

2 year old playing with dadImage taken by Mayte Torres/Getty Images

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. 

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though. 

Lifestylekimberrywood/Getty Images

I got fired from my job at the bank today. 

An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. 

Friends sitting outdoors in cafeSouth_agency/Getty Images

My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning.

It’s a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at you, but we have 50 jokes here for all 50 states.

Cheerful young woman using mobile phone while sitting at table in restaurantWestend61/Getty Images

Why are there so many different kinds of pasta? 

If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question. 

Authentic Group of Diverse Friends Having Fun in the CityFG Trade/Getty Images

What did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers? 

I’m not much of a boxer, but I’ll wrestle you for it. 

Arab teenage girls having fun together in restaurantJasmin Merdan/Getty Images

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peeka-boo accident? 

To the I.C.U. 

African-American woman with spina bifidakali9/Getty Images

Nurse: Blood type? 

Dad: Red. 

Cute Girl Portrait at in the Front of the HouseFG Trade/Getty Images

A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, “19! 19! 19! 19!” Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. 

Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting, “20! 20! 20!” Here are the best jokes from A-Z!

Mixed race girls using digital tablet on sofaInti St Clair/Getty Images

I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married. 

The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was amazing. 

Two girls friends walking togetherRidofranz/Getty Images

What do you call a magician who lost their magic? 


Laughing cookJuanmonino/Getty Images

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 

They always take things literally. 

Young woman using mobile phone at parkFG Trade/Getty Images

What do you call a blind dinosaur? 

A do-you-think-he-saurus. 

Portrait of Best FriendsFG Trade/Getty Images

I had a chip implanted in my body. 

It was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum! Here are our 50 funniest jokes ever

Close up of laughing mixed race womanPeathegee Inc/Getty Images

Why is Peter Pan always flying? 

He neverlands. We love this joke because it never grows old. 

MStudioImages/Getty Images

To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. 

Sounds easy but the process is painstaking. 

Laughing woman hanging out with friends during backyard partyThomas Barwick/Getty Images

What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them?



Boys laughing on living room sofaJGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?” 

“Pop,” goes the weasel. 

Portrait of smiling couple hugging near leavesPeter Griffith/Getty Images

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Phillipe Floppe. This is objectively funny, like these 9 jokes that are proven funny by research.

Happy young Muslim WomenLeoPatrizi/Getty Images

Today I gave my dead batteries away.

They were free of charge.

Women friends having fun togetherRidofranz/Getty Images

Why do ghosts love elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

Amazon rainforest womanIgor Alecsander/Getty Images

Five guys walk into a bar.

You think one of them would’ve seen it.

Girl using digital tabletJohner Images/Getty Images

Who are caterpillars’ biggest enemies?


Two young women friends sharing happy time togetherrecep-bg/Getty Images

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze. Bless them. Don’t miss these 40 comedians reveal their favorite jokes ever!

USA, Florida, Miami Beach, two happy female friends having a soft drink in the cityWestend61/Getty Images

Why do you tell actors to break a leg?

Every play has a cast.

Excited female spectatorImage_Source_/Getty Images

What do you call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Was.

Senior women having fun at a small cocktail partyLucy Lambriex/Getty Images

Someone stole my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about that.

Girl smiling on living room floorCultura RF/Emma Kim/Getty Images

What kind of dogs love car racing?

Lap dogs.

Three friends talking together sitting on the sofa at homeFilippoBacci/Getty Images

Library patron: Do you sell any books on paranoia?

Librarian: They’re right behind you! If you’re more of a movie buff than reader, we’ve got the 15 funniest Oscar jokes for you right here.

Young couple sat on stair eating take away at nightPeter Cade/Getty Images

My favorite word is “drool.

It just rolls off the tongue.

Dinner with friendskate_sept2004/Getty Images

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Do not read it.

Three Friends Laughing At Chatting In Coffee ShopTom Werner/Getty Images

What do you call birds who stick together?


Businessman laughs while meeting with colleaguesSDI Productions/Getty Images

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

I choose happiness because it feels greatCecilie_Arcurs/Getty Images

I’m terrified of elevators...

…so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them. You can also try asking Siri for a joke if you need one in a pinch. We rated virtual assistants’ senses of humor!

Maintaining good rapport with peers is part of professionalismHiraman/Getty Images

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meatball.

Two students sitting on desk in discussion in labThomas Barwick/Getty Images

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

Cheerful indian girl laughing sit with laptop at tablefizkes/Getty Images

This library has two stories.

Can hardly call it a library.

Mother and daughter embracing in kitchenMoMo Productions/Getty Images

I like to spend every day as if it’s my last.

Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.

Portrait of laughing girlWestend61/Getty Images

Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?

The cow’s got the udder. Here are 25 Disney jokes that’ll get you a good laugh, for the moovie fans out there.

Two laughing young women outdoors in summerWestend61/Getty Images

How does your feline shop?

By reading a catalog.

Senior couple having a video call on their phoneMarko Geber/Getty Images

What do you call a factory that sells passable products?


Girl friends laughing together during lunch partyThomas Barwick/Getty Images

What do you call a dangerous sun shower?

A rain of terror.

Mature woman laughing at garden partyUwe Krejci/Getty Images

What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes?


Women sitting on sofa laughingMorsa Images/Getty Images

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?

Its butt. Oop! Try these political jokes on for size at your next family holiday—they’re guaranteed to get you a laugh.

A 10 years old girl laughing with her dogCatherine Delahaye/Getty Images

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad.

Portrait of laughing senior man sitting on couch at homeWestend61/Getty Images

I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.

Never again.

Netherlands, Zandvoort, happy woman eating watermelon looking at man on the beachWestend61/Getty Images

Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Grandfather with his grandson using a digital tabletThanasis Zovoilis/Getty Images

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

“Robin, get in the car.”

Mother playing face to face with baby son on floorJGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

I threw a boomerang a few years ago.

I now live in constant fear. Think you’re funnier than the president? We bet you are. Here are the funniest jokes told by 23 U.S. presidents.

Happy teenage girls in class looking at cell phoneWestend61/Getty Images

Why did the chicken marry the crocodile?

Because crocodooladoo is a good family name.

African American girl laughingJose Luis Pelaez Inc/Getty Images

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

If anything, it made him more sluggish.

Happy friends holding each otherRawpixel/Getty Images

My friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying.

It seemed very important to him that I have it.

Pretty happy little girlPhoto by Rafa Elias/Getty Images

Have you heard of Murphy’s Law? Ok, but have you heard of Cole’s Law?

It’s thinly-sliced cabbage.

friends smilingTim Robberts/Getty Images

When you look really closely...

…all mirrors look like eyeballs. Instant classic. History buffs, try some of these jokes!

Portrait of mature woman with yellow wallNatalie McComas/Getty Images

Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn’t talk about it?

John 12:49: “For I did not speak of my own accord.”

Portrait of cool boy laughing , on studio backgroundKlaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

How do you talk to Italian ghosts?

With a Luigi board.

Asian and Caucasian ethnicity women colleagues chatting in office hallwayfizkes/Getty Images

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Happy young woman looking out of car windowOliver Rossi/Getty Images

Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”

The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter.”

Laughing pregnant Caucasian businesswoman using cell phoneJose Luis Pelaez Inc/Getty Images

What’s E.T. short for?

He’s only got little legs. Science lovers will science-love these physics jokes!

Cheerful young male student sitting in classroomKlaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me to get to the other side!”

The other guy shouts, “You are on the other side!”

Portrait OF Young Boy SmilingTom Werner/Getty Images

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Two happy casual businesswomen with laptop meeting in officeWestend61/Getty Images

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Safety. Safety always comes first.

Young Muslim woman using phoneLilly Roadstones/Getty Images

This is your captain speaking.


Little girl laughing joyfully in bedImages By Tang Ming Tung/Getty Images

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut. Here are 15 witty bar jokes anyone can remember, for the next time you wanna go a little nuts yourself.

Young women talking and laughing in courtyard of hostelKlaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

Coroner died.

Still went to work.

Happy young woman looking on cell phoneWestend61/Getty Images

Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore.

Happy female friends having dinner at home togetherWestend61/Getty Images

I bought a dog from a locksmith.

The second I got him in the house he made a bolt for the door.

Relaxed young woman sitting at table using tabletOliver Rossi/Getty Images

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

Cheerful multi-ethnic friends enjoying at table during dinner party in backyardMaskot/Getty Images

Have you heard the one about the jump rope?

Never mind, skip it. Check out these 20 food jokes anyone will find funny.

Headshot portrait laughing 30s woman looking at camerafizkes/Getty Images

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

A woman reacting with laughter.Lauren Mulligan/Getty Images

What do you call bears with no ears?


Laughing with smartphonePlume Creative/Getty Images

What’s a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

Asian Boy LaughingYasser Chalid/Getty Images

What did the swordfish say to the marlin?

You’re lookin’ sharp.

Friends laughing and relaxing indoorsDavid Lees/Getty Images

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you’re probably a genius.

woman laughing at home drinking teaEva Szombat/Getty Images

Where can you buy soup in bulk?

The stock market.

Candid portrait of mixed race professional woman laughing10'000 Hours/Getty Images

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Cancel its credit card.

Happy couple hugging on the beachOliver Rossi/Getty Images

What was the frog’s job at the hotel?


Laughing woman sitting on couch watching comedy movie on laptopfizkes/Getty Images

Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Their capital is Dublin.

Friends laughing on beachTim Robberts/Getty Images

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line. These 9 practical jokes will really make you stop and think.

Joyous woman infront of wallTim Robberts/Getty Images

What kind of shoes do robbers wear?


Happy senior man and young man arm wrestlingWestend61/Getty Images

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Girl friends hanging out togetherNick David/Getty Images

Why are frogs so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.

Portrait of cute little Asian toddler girl laughing joyfully and lying on bed with her panda soft toy lying next to herd3sign/Getty Images

What do you call banana peel shoes?


Portrait of young woman laughingSimon Winnall/Getty Images

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie. Cheese is classic joke fodder. Here are 17 classic light bulb jokes that’ll make you sound smart.

Men sitting in urban roof garden laughing.Mike Harrington/Getty Images

Why were they called the Dark Ages?

There were lots of knights.

Mother and daughter playing on bedroom floorMoMo Productions/Getty Images

My boss just texted me,

“Send me one of your funny jokes!”

Laughing young woman with coffee mug sitting on couchWestend61/Getty Images

Want to hear a roof joke?

This one’s on the house.

Cute girl standing on beach and laughingKlaus Vedfelt/Getty Images

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

Portrait of a smiling boy with frecklesElizabethsalleebauer/Getty Images

Where does the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Here are 9 secrets to telling a great joke, according to comedians.

Mixed Race woman laughing in cityJGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

How does the squid go into battle?


Mature women laughing together in stylish loft apartment10'000 Hours/Getty Images

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m ok.

Portrait of mature woman laughingFlashpop/Getty Images

Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee?

I use a spoon.

Woman lying on sofa using smart phone, smiling behind handTim Robberts/Getty Images

You’re not completely useless.

You can always serve as a bad example.

Family Hanging Out Watching Videos OnlineTom Werner/Getty Images

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? 

Same middle name.  Here are 15 simple (and silly) April Fool’s jokes to play on your kids.

Two best friends having funWestend61/Getty Images

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.


  • Buzzfeed, “21 Clean Jokes That Are So Dumb They’re Actually Funny”
  • Buzzfeed, “21 Dad Jokes So Ridiculous, I’m Almost Mad At Myself For Laughing”
  • Buzzfeed, “18 Punny Jokes That Have No Right To Be As Hilarious As They Are”
  • Buzzfeed, “100 Dad Jokes You’re Going To Hate Laughing At So Hard”
  • Buzzfeed, “If You’re Tired Of The Same Old Dad Jokes, Here Are 19 Very Funny New Ones”
  • Buzzfeed, “23 Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Good”
  • Buzzfeed, “Sorry, But There’s No Way You Won’t At Least Smile At Any Of These Dad Jokes”
  • Buzzfeed, “25 Jokes And Puns From National Tell A Joke Day That Might Make You Roll Your Eyes”
  • Buzzfeed, “13 Absolutely Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies”
  • Buzzfeed, “Every Weird And Awkward Person Will Find These 17 Tweets Hilarious For No Particular Reason”
  • Buzzfeed, “Reddit Is Sharing Their Best Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones”
  • Buzzfeed, “17 Dad Jokes That Made Me Groan, Roll My Eyes, And Then Repeat To My Friends”
  • Buzzfeed, “18 Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Even If You’re Having A Bad Day”
  • Buzzfeed, “27 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids That Are Actually Funny”
  • Buzzfeed, “19 Twitter Jokes That Are Just Very, Very Funny”
  • Buzzfeed, “We All Love Dad Jokes — But How Many Of The Punchlines Do You Actually Know?”
  • Best Life, “150 Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny”
  • Bored Panda, “52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever”
  • Reddit, “What’s a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?”
  • Best Life, “40 Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At”
  • Parade, Ha Ha Ha—101 Corny Jokes That Are So Bad They’re Actually Funny Good” 
  • Fatherly, “55 Great Clean Jokes for Funny People Who Don’t Swear”