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8 Funny Political Quotes (and Insults) You Can’t Help But Laugh At

Updated: Jun. 20, 2024

America is a great country, but as far as put-downs go, we can learn a thing or two from our friends abroad who have made slamming their opponents a form of high art.

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Tony Banks
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Downright dehumanizing

“The honorable Member is living proof that a pig’s bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament.” —Labor Member of Parliament Tony Banks on Tory Member of Parliament Terry Dicks

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Paul Keating
DAE Photo

Why call someone a coward when you could say this?!

“He’s like a shiver waiting for a spine.” —Paul Keating, Former Australian Prime Minister. 

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Paolo Romani
S. Sabawoon / EPA/Shutterstock

Too clingy

“[He clings] to data the way a drunkard clings to lampposts.” —Former Italian Prime Minister Paolo Romani, referring to his successor, Silvio Berlusconi. Don’t be ashamed if you have these common political questions. 

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Nigel Farage
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Sure you don’t want to be rude?

“I don’t want to be rude but, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.” —Former U.K. Independence Party leader Nigel Farage on European Council President Herman Van Rompuy. Check out these words that used to be insults, but transformed into compliments.

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Jonathan Atiken
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Lost in translation

“She probably thinks ‘Sinai’ is the plural of ‘sinus.’” —Jonathan Aitken, a former Conservative Member of Parliament, on former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher 

Next, sift through these funny insults to be prepared for hilarious comebacks.

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Vince Cable
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Is it just us, or do the best funny political quotes come from England?

“The house has noticed the Prime Minister’s remarkable transformation in the last few weeks from Stalin to Mr. Bean.” —British Liberal Democrat Vincent Cable on Tory British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. For some more of the best in British insults, check out our list of Shakespeare’s funniest put-downs.

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David Lloyd George
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Quite a slimeball

“The right honorable and learned gentleman has twice crossed the floor of this House, each time leaving behind a trail of slime.” —Former British Prime Minister David Lloyd George. These funny political quotes might be good for a laugh, but politicians can offer some more sophisticated words of wisdom, too, like these moving peace quotes from world leaders.

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Winston Churchill
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A zinger from the British Bulldog himself

“He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.” —Former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. It’s no secret that this celebrated Prime Minister had a way with words, so it makes sense that he had a few funny political quotes on hand too. Here are some more of Churchill’s most motivational quotes.

Reader's Digest
Originally Published in Reader's Digest