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20 Grammar Jokes Every Word Nerd Will Appreciate

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

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The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

(Love nerd jokes? We bet you’ll love these bar jokes even more.)

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Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

(Next time you’re writing, don’t forget this crucial grammar rule.)

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“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“To.”

“To who?”

“Actually, it’s to whom.”

(Get a chuckle out of these other hilarious knock-knock jokes.)

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Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?

A: They’re too possessive

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Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

A: Subordinate clauses

(Leave the nerd jokes behind with these 30 short jokes anyone can remember.)

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Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?

She was having contractions.

These jokes are fun, but this grammar debate is “funner.” 

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A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.

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“Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize’. Except at a funeral.” —Demetri Martin

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Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?

A: A Thesaurus

If you love these grammar jokes, you’ll love these palindrome words you never thought of.

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Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?

A: The noun declined.

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Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?

Make sure you know these 22 best insults from Shakespeare.

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I invented a new word! Plagiarism.

(Find more nerd jokes with these 32 math gags.)

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Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.

It could spell disaster.

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When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?

Nobody knew why.

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Q: Which word becomes shorter after you add two letters to it?

A: Short

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Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

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Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nazi?

A: “There, their, they’re.”

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When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”

I said, “Who, me?”

(If your friends have heard too many grammar jokes, try one of these 25 corny jokes everyone will get.)

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I before e… except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor. (If you’re loving these grammar jokes, you’re going to get a kick out of these funny spelling mistakes.)

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“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous. These are the 9 secrets to telling a great joke.