85 Corny Jokes Everyone Will Laugh at to Celebrate National Tell a Joke Day
No kidding: You're going to love this cheesy collection of puns and one-liners—they're ideal for celebrating National Tell a Joke Day on August 16.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.” Belly up to some more bar jokes, here.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse. It’s okay, we all laugh at bad jokes—they’re actually hilarious!
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh. These are the 20 grammar corny jokes every word nerd will appreciate.
What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator. If you thought this was funny, you’ll love these other hilarious what do you call jokes.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Find the funniest joke ever with these daily life jokes you’ll want to share.
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?” The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!” Don’t forget to read these funny tweets for more laughs.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. Here are some short jokes for kids that anyone can remember—and they’re pretty funny!
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless. Don’t think that’s the funniest joke ever? These are the one-liners we know you’ll love.
What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment. Here are more “what’s the difference between” jokes guaranteed to make you laugh.
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes. Thought that was good? These plant puns will knock your stalks off.
After a crime, a detective noted that he thought it was foul play. The other detective said, “You mean, he was playing with birds?”
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. Need more laughs? These Laffy Taffy jokes will sweeten your day.
What did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You’re under a vest. Here are some corny jokes from celebrities.
Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. Here are some pig puns that are sure to make you snort.
Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes. Check out these biology jokes that really cell themselves.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes. Find the funniest joke for your Christmas party with these holiday jokes.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef! If your funny bone still needs tickling, here are the top jokes from comedy legends.
What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. Memorize these short corny jokes to be the hit at your next party.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing…It just waved. These clever jokes will make you sound smart.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs. Don’t forget to check out our other hilarious cow jokes!
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore. If you thought that was good, check out these other hilarious dinosaur jokes.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain. These cat memes will make you laugh every time.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? No? Really? It’s making headlines! These hilarious dog puns will give you paws.
How does a duck buy lipstick? She just puts it on her bill. Check out more duck jokes that’ll quack you up.
What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc already. Check out the funniest jokes about all 50 states.
What do horses say when they fall? Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up. You’ll laugh out loud at these other corny jokes about animals.
An apple a day really can keep the doctor away … but only if you aim it well. Keep the laughs coming with these hilarious fruit puns.
Why can’t you trust duck doctors? They’re all quacks. Memorize these other hilarious animal puns.
Why did the robber jump in the shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
What did the elevator say when it sneezed? I think I’m coming down with something.
Did you hear about the man who got hit by the same bike every morning? It was a vicious cycle. Science takes on new meanings in these 16 hilarious physics jokes.
What does corn say when you give it a compliment? Aw shucks! Here are more of our favorite corny jokes.
Why were the fish’s grades so bad? It was below sea level. These are the 36 best math jokes every nerd will appreciate.
Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe. Try not to choke laughing at these food jokes to share at the table.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up, just like these egg puns will crack you up.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it. Learn the secrets to telling a great joke.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was fine—he woke up. You won’t be able to help but laugh at these 21 anti-jokes that are so unfunny that they’re funny.
What do lawyers wear to work? Lawsuits. Need more laughs? These work from home jokes will do the trick.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
What’s the best way to burn 1000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin. These puns will become your new favorite corny jokes.
What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every night.
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. If you love these corny jokes, try some of these cartoons about family life that will make yours seem less crazy.