What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
How does a snowman get to work?
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Q. Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars? A. Holly-wood!
Q. How do Christmas angels greet each other? A. “Halo!”
People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same, but really, there’s a whole world of difference between them.
Q. What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas? A. “‘Tis the season to be jelly!”
Q. What’s a sheep’s favorite Christmas song? A. “Fleece Navidad”!
Q. What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime? A. “Season’s bleatings!”
Q. What’s Jack Frost’s favorite part of the school day? A. Snow and tell. By Joshua S., Lafayette, Ind.
Q. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed? A. Cookie sheets!
Q. What do you call an outlaw who steals gift wrapping from the rich to give to the poor? A. Ribbon Hood.
Q. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad? A. A pineapple! By Zoey Y., Flower Mound, Tex.
Q. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day? A. There’s Noel!
Q: Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb? A: Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”
Q: What are the best books to read during the holidays? A: The Lord of the Five Golden Rings No Country for Old Menorahs For Whom the Jingle Bells Toll Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret Santas Frankincense and Sensibility
Q: Where do you find reindeer? A: It depends on where you leave them!
Q: Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? A: Spruce Springsteen
Q: How is the alphabet different on Christmas than any other day? A: On Christmas, it has Noel.
Q: “Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?” A: “Because he went down in History.”
Q: What Do You Sing At An Elf’s Birthday Party? A: Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow!
Q: What cars do elves drive? A: A toyYoda.
Q: How did Scrooge win the football game? A: The ghost of Christmas passed
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: What is Santa’s primary language? A: North Polish.
Q: What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? A: This will sleigh you
Q: Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December? A: So they could have a married Christmas
Q: How do you lift a frozen car? A: With a Jack Frost
Q: Which holiday mascot has the least spare change? A: St. Nickel-less
Q: What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery? A: Welfy
Q: How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? A; He was hooked on trees his whole life
Q: How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas? A: The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.
Q: What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? A: RUDEolph.
Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? A: Because the present’s beneath them.
Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: A wrapper!
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A: A rebel without a Claus.
Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa? A: Saint Nickel-less.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? A: It needed to be trimmed.
Q: What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice? A: Yule-Tide.
Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate? A: He uses Comet.