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The 50 Funniest Christmas Jokes for Kids

Prepare yourself for some wholesome holiday LOLs.

Ha-ha-holidays!Emma Kumer/rd.com

‘Tis the season for silliness!

We’ve reached that time of the year again—the one that is most wonderful—and whether you’re gathering with the little ones to make memories by making Christmas crafts or engaging in a raucous game of Christmas bingo, it’s always helpful to have a few Christmas jokes for kids up your sleeve. Funny stuff never goes out of style, and even some beloved yucks from your own childhood will likely make the smaller set crack up. After all, the best gift you can give anyone is joy, and Christmas jokes certainly pack a punch.

Need to brush up on your LOL-inducing humor around the holidays? We’ve rounded up 50 of the silliest, corniest, and downright funniest children’s Christmas jokes. Don’t be surprised if they get the whole family giggling, from the young to the young at heart. Sprinkle them in when you’re playing Christmas games or while you’re reading these Christmas books to the kids. For other audiences, you can’t go wrong with these 101 short jokes anyone can remember.

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?

Nurse them back to elf. Ba-dum-bump! Looking for other holiday fun on top of our Christmas jokes for kids? Try these Christmas brainteasers that are almost impossible to solve.

What do Santa's elves drive?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do Santa’s elves drive?

Minivans. Get it? Because elves are a small bunch!

What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?

Orna-mints! If you want to make some of your own, check out this list of DIY Christmas ornaments that will make your tree extra special.

What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws. Pretty funny, right? Next, get punny with these Christmas puns that are elfin’ hilarious.

Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?

He’s cool. Learn the history behind some of your other favorite Christmas carols.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed. What are the origins of Christmas trees, anyway? We investigated.

Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you! Speaking of Santa’s helpers, Elf tops the list of funny Christmas movies you’ll want to watch this season. Of course, it’s filled with all sorts of Christmas jokes for kids…and a bunch for adults, too.

What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple! Don’t miss these other Christmas riddles for guaranteed holiday cheer.

Why don't aliens celebrate Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas?

Because they don’t want to give away their presence. Womp womp! Make your presence known with the best presents for kids. (Sorry, we couldn’t help ourselves.)

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes! The building of snowmen actually dates all the way back to the Middle Ages. If you’re curious about these winter staples, learn the fascinating history surrounding the snowman.

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinselitus. Want to skip the tinsel, just in case? We have plenty of other Christmas decoration ideas that will fill your home with holiday cheer.

Knock, knock!Emma Kumer/rd.com

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Donut.

Donut who?

Donut open this present until Christmas!

A little yuletide trivia for you: The United States Postal Service says it expects to deliver more than 900 million packages between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. That’s a lot of presents. If you haven’t started your shopping yet, get to it—starting with this year’s hottest Christmas toys that will sell out fast.

What do you call Santa when he stops moving?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause.

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?

He got 12 months.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph. Love reindeer? Read about a family who raises these beloved animals.

Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?

Because it was Decembrrrrrr!

Where does Santa keep all his money?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Where does Santa keep all his money?

At the local snow bank. These heartwarming stories about meeting Santa will make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

He refers to his calen-deer.

What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?

Baaaa humbug! Of course, the phrase “Bah! Humbug!” was made popular by Ebeneezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, but it actually dates back to the 1750s. You’ll find a few incarnations of this classic tale—and its classic line—in our list of the best Christmas movies of all time.

What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite. We’re focusing on Christmas jokes for kids here, but to keep the littles laughing all year long, check out our extensive collection of kids’ jokes.

What do you call a greedy elf?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish.

What do Santa's little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?

Elf-abet soup! Fun fact: January has been proclaimed National Soup Month, which makes sense because it tends to be the coldest time of the year.

What falls but never gets hurt?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What falls but never gets hurt?

Snow. If you’re looking to escape the cold this season, book one of these Christmas getaways to a gorgeous warm-weather destination.

What's Frosty's favorite dessert?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s Frosty’s favorite dessert?

Ice Krispie Treats. The very first Frosty the Snowman television special premiered in 1969, and it’s still one of the best Christmas cartoons around.

What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?

This one’s gonna sleigh you!

What does an elf work on after school?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What does an elf work on after school?

His gnomework.

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?

He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.

What do you call an old snowman?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?

Candy canes. While we’re on the subject, do you know the surprising history of the gingerbread man and these other Christmas symbols?

What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What does Santa use to keep his house sparkling clean?

Comet.

What did one snowman say to the other?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie sheets. Speaking of which, you’ll want to make these delicious Christmas cookie recipes this year (and every year).

What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn't prepare for his test on the Civil War?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?

You’ll go down in history!

What's the weather report every Christmas Eve?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve?

There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer.

How does the snow globe feel this year?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How does the snow globe feel this year?

A little shaken.

What kind of bug hates Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What kind of bug hates Christmas?

A humbug.

What music do Santa's elves like best?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What music do Santa’s elves like best?

Wrap music! You’ll love these Christmas songs, which absolutely deserve a spot on your holiday playlist. 

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?

They drop all their needles. Christmas jokes for kids aside, this is why you might want to get an artificial Christmas tree this year.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Who delivers presents to baby sharks?

Santa Jaws. Of course, there’s an alternate joke to this one just for dog lovers. Who delivers presents to puppies? Santa Paws. You’ll definitely want to show your kids these pictures of adorable animals filled with the holiday spirit.

What's red, white, and blue at Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas?

A sad candy cane. In case you’ve ever wondered, this is how red and green became the official Christmas colors.

What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar?

Your days are numbered!

What kind of Christmas present just can't be beat?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat?

A broken drum.

Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?

On vacation to a ho-ho-ho-tel.

What kind of Christmas carol do you sing to fruit?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What kind of Christmas carol do you sing to fruit?

“We Wish You a Berry Christmas.” Here are more fruit puns that are berry, berry funny.

What body part do you only see at Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What body part do you only see at Christmas?

The mistle-toe. If the kids ask (or you’re just curious), this is the reason we kiss under the mistletoe.

How do you know when Santa’s around?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How do you know when Santa’s around?

You can always sense his presents.

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

Stick with me and we’ll go places. At a loss for words? These are the best Merry Christmas wishes to write in your holiday card.

What do you sing at a snowman's birthday?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday?

“Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”

How did Scrooge win the football game?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed. Now that you have the perfect batch of Christmas jokes for kids, check out the funniest Christmas memes you’ll want to share with the grown-ups.

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