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The 25 Funniest Christmas Jokes for Kids

Prepare yourself for some wholesome holiday LOLs.

Ha-ha-holidays!Emma Kumer/rd.com

Ha-ha-holidays!

We’ve reached that time of the year again—the one that is most wonderful—and whether you’re gathering with the little ones in your life in person or virtually, it’s great to have a few Christmas jokes for kids up your sleeve. Funny stuff never goes out of style, and even some beloved yucks from your own childhood will likely make the smaller set crack up. After all, the best gift you can give anyone is joy (though these hottest Christmas toys of the year certainly come in a close second).

Need to brush up on your LOL-inducing humor around the holidays? We’ve rounded up 25 of the silliest, corniest, and downright funniest children’s Christmas jokes. Don’t be surprised if they get the whole family giggling, from the young to the young at heart. For other audiences, you can’t go wrong with these 101 short jokes anyone can remember.

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?

Nurse them back to elf. Ba-dum-bump! Want to provide your family with a holiday brainteaser on top of these Christmas jokes for kids? Check out this head-scratcher and try to find an elf’s lost boot!

What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?

Orna-mints! Here’s some interesting holiday trivia while we’re on the topic: According to the National Christmas Tree Association, it takes an average of seven years for a tree to grow tall enough to be ready for sale. Here’s how to keep your own Christmas tree fresh and healthy throughout the holiday season.

Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?

He’s cool. By the way, did you know the tune “Frosty the Snowman” was written in 1950 by Jack Rollins and Steve Nelson? It was meant to capitalize on the success of 1949’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Check out the history behind some of your other favorite Christmas carols.

Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you! It is said that the inventor of earmuffs is a man by the name of Chester Greenwood, who hailed from Farmington, Maine. Considering how chilly it gets in the New England state, this should come as no surprise! Here are more of the most famous inventions from every state.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes. The building of snowmen actually dates all the way back to the Middle Ages. If you’re curious about these winter staples, learn the fascinating history surrounding the snowman.

Knock, knock!Emma Kumer/rd.com

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Donut.

Donut who?

Donut open this present until Christmas!

A little yuletide trivia for you: The United States Postal Service says it expects to deliver more than 900 million packages between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day! That’s a lot of presents. If you haven’t started your shopping yet, get to it—starting with these 50 great stocking stuffer ideas for kids.

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph. Love reindeer? Rudolph was a character created for the department store Montgomery Ward as a marketing ploy, reports MeTV. Read about a family that raises these beloved animals.

Where does Santa keep all his money?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Where does Santa keep all his money?

At the local snow bank. It was in 1890 that the first department-store Santa Claus was introduced, according to The Week. These heartwarming stories about meeting Santa will make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?

Baaaa humbug! Of course, the phrase “Bah! Humbug!” was made popular by Ebeneezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, but it actually dates back to the 1750s, notes CNN. Meanwhile, do you know which Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite. We’re focusing on Christmas jokes for kids here, but if you’re looking for other funnies to keep the littles laughing, you need to check out our extensive collection of kids’ jokes.

What do you call a greedy elf?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish. Perhaps the most famous modern-day elf is Buddy, the sweet, silly lead character in the aptly-titled comedy Elf. The Mirror reports the role was originally meant for actor Jim Carrey before ultimately going to Will Ferrell. See where Elf landed on our list of the 40 best Christmas movies of all time, and find some other Christmas jokes for kids (and adults) while you’re watching.

 

What do Santa's little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?

Elf-abet soup! January has been proclaimed National Soup Month, which makes sense because it tends to be the coldest time of the year.

What's Frosty's favorite dessert?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s Frosty’s favorite dessert?

Ice Krispie Treats. The very first Frosty the Snowman television special premiered in 1969. A comedian by the name of Jack Vernon voiced the sweet character.

What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?

This one’s gonna sleigh you! If you’ve ever wanted to know more about reindeer, here’s a fun fact: Male reindeer actually shed their antlers in early December, which occurs after their mating season, reports the Orlando Science Center. But female reindeer hold onto their antlers all year long. Don’t miss these other funny holiday jokes that will crack you up.

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?

He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone. It is believed that Vermont is the U.S. state that gets the most snowfall annually, on average, with somewhere in the neighborhood of 89 inches each year. No matter where you live, check out these rare, vintage photos of what winter used to look like.

What do you call an old snowman?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do you call an old snowman?

Water. Contrary to popular belief, snow isn’t actually white. BBC Earth says it’s translucent—the reflecting light makes it appear white. To get little brains working even more, try these 60 tricky riddles for kids.

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?

Candy canes. Do you know the surprising history of the gingerbread man? It is believed that the first recipe for gingerbread surfaced in 2400 B.C. in Greece. The cookie dough wasn’t shaped into the form of men until many, many years later.

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?

Cookie sheets. Did you know that darker-colored cookie sheets brown cookies faster? According to MarthaStewart.com, you may need to lower your oven’s temperature when using those, as opposed to lighter-hued cookie sheets. Test out this tip by making these 17 delicious Christmas cookie recipes you’ll want to make this year (and every year).

What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn't prepare for his test on the Civil War?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?

You’ll go down in history! Something that certainly didn’t go down in history (at least not well) was a competitor for the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer holiday special called Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey. TV Guide says the program aired in 1977…and was quickly forgotten.

What's the weather report every Christmas Eve?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What’s the weather report every Christmas Eve?

There’s a 100 percent chance of reindeer. If you’ve always dreamed of a white Christmas, the National Centers for Environmental Information says these are the best places to be on December 25 for the best chances of seeing falling snow: most of Idaho, Minnesota, Maine, Upstate New York, the Allegheny Mountains of Pennsylvania and West Virginia, the Rockies, and the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

How does the snow globe feel this year?Emma Kumer/rd.com

How does the snow globe feel this year?

A little shaken. Did you know that the snow globe was created by accident? HuffPost reports that it came about when a surgical-instrument mechanic tried to build a better light bulb. Whoops!

What kind of bug hates Christmas?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What kind of bug hates Christmas?

A humbug. Did you know there are at least 13 different names for Santa Claus used around the world? There’s Sinterklaas in the Netherlands, Christkind in Germany (they also use Weihnachtsmann), Father Christmas in England, and Papa Noel in Latin America, to name a few. Check out these 11 destinations that are lovely all year long but are even better in winter.

What music do Santa's elves like best?Emma Kumer/rd.com

What music do Santa’s elves like best?

Wrap music! While it isn’t easy to peg which Christmas carol was the very first, Billboard says that among those we know well, it could be “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.” There is a published version of that tune from 1739.

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?

They drop all their needles. The Fraser Fir, Noble Fir, and Colorado Blue Spruce are among the best Christmas trees you can buy (though none will keep all of their needles). While we’re on the subject, find out a few festive facts about the annual White House Christmas tree.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks?Emma Kumer/rd.com

Who delivers presents to baby sharks?

Santa Jaws. Of course, there’s an alternate joke to this one just for dog lovers. Who delivers presents to puppies? Santa Paws. You’ll definitely want to show your kids these 30 pictures of adorable animals filled with the holiday spirit.