The 28 Weirdest Things You Can Buy on Amazon
Updated: Jun. 22, 2020Amazon definitely makes online ordering easier, but once you scroll past the necessities, the inventory takes a turn for the bizarre.
Giant aged-cheese wheel
Why limit yourself to a cheese plate when you can enjoy 82-pounds of pure, unadulterated happiness? This Parmigiano Reggiano cheese wheel can be yours for only $1,255.88! Don’t you worry, shipping is free on this beauty. Aged for months, this cheese is produced in Italy under the strictest rules so you know you will be getting the best quality once it arrives at your doorstep. For some cheesy reading, check out the funniest Amazon reviews of all time.
Fake mayonnaise jar
Never worry about leaving your valuables behind again with this fake jar of mayonnaise. Stash your cash, jewelry any other pricey items in this prop meant to divert those who are looking to lift your stuff.
90s cell phone pool float
Relive your favorite era in all of its glory with this inflatable raft. This retro-phone shaped raft includes a cup holder and number buttons so you can dial your favorite person. Added bonus? It deflates in under two minutes flat so you can be on to your next pool party in no time. When ordering on Amazon, be sure that you’re ordering from a trusted seller.
Pet urine detector UV light
Fido won’t be able to fool you anymore! This UV urine detector light will catch his dirty deed every time. The blacklight flashlight reveals stains on absorbent surfaces by emitting long-wave UV light that cause dried urine salts to shine bright. If your dog is having more accidents than usual, that’s a symptom he may be sick.
Beer pong balls in bulk
Why worry about losing your beer pong ball when you can easily buy 144 of them for only $11.95? Impress your friends with your endless supply of heavy-duty balls that can be shipped for free right to your door. Some reviewers also rave about them as cat toys.
Fake nipples
If you’ve ever felt like you wanted to be perkier, Amazon has your back. This set of fake nipples comes in three colors and four sizes. All you need is body adhesive to get the show on the road. The online retailer has no shortage of fake nipple suppliers, in case you were looking for additional sizing or more brands. Take a peek at their selection, no pun intended.
Replica popcorn kernels
Real popcorn is so passé! Who needs the real deal when you can purchase faux popcorn. Make your next popcorn garland indestructible with this decor package of 125 pieces, all 1-inch in diameter. If the real stuff is more your speed, here is how you can easily make your own microwavable popcorn.
Pet coffin
It’s a sad day when we have to say goodbye to our most beloved pets. Amazon makes that time a bit easier with these deluxe pet coffins. Put your pet to rest in a comfortable pillow, a laced coverlet, and a plush satin mattress. For your own mental well-being, read up on how to best mourn the loss of a pet.
Bird poop remover
We all hate flying surprises, especially those in the bird droppings department. Take revenge on the nastiest of birds with your very own bottle of bird poop remover. It easily removes avian messes from clothing, upholstery, carpets, and hard surfaces. Can also be safely used on cages, plus the makers guarantee no dust will be created in the process.
Insects and worms
Didn’t know creepy crawlies traveled USPS? Check out Amazon for ants, worms, and ladybugs. Too much for you? Then check out these 13 things you can get for free on Amazon.
Spray-on blood
Sure, we’ve all heard of fake blood. But did you know it comes in a spray? This spray-on fake blood is available in four sizes, to serve all your Halloween needs.
A pound of fat
Shakespeare references aside, this fat replica blob could be a great weight-loss motivator. One reviewer says, “I put my lump of fat in front of the fridge, set it in front of my plate at meals, and even carry it with me to restaurants.” With enough exercise, maybe it will transform into a pound of muscle.
A horse-head mask
Channel your inner Mr. Ed with this latex head covering. Want something a little more magical? May we suggest a unicorn? Along with these masks, these are the items you should always be buying on Amazon.
Very large, very heavy things
If you’re in the market for a 10×15 shed for approximately $1,632.72, it can each be yours on Amazon.
AK-47 bullet ice cube tray
Now you can make ice for the hunting or military buff, or for anyone frustrated that normal cubes won’t fit into water bottles. If you’d like to cool the beverage of a pacifistic type, opt for hearts, the United States, or penguins. Have an Amazon Alexa? You need to learn these 11 things you didn’t know it could do.
Giant googly eyes
Keep an eye on things with these giant stickers. One reviewer confirms that the eyes “google quite well,” so at least you know you’ll get your money’s worth.
Lots of marshmallows
Calling all bulk buyers! Why buy 80 rolls of toilet paper when you could get 8 pounds of cereal marshmallows instead? These are more amazing Amazon products you’ll definitely use every day.
Thumb piano
Not that you can’t buy a regular piano on Amazon, because you totally can (a digital grand piano goes for $1,495). But this slightly smaller instrument ($14.94; 6 inches, 8 ounces) is meant for only those opposable digits. The sound won’t fill a concert hall, but with a little practice, you could be like this guy.
An engagement ring
Do you want a two-carat princess cut ring with a platinum band? Do you have more than $12K to spare? If so, we have the ring for you!
Decal of woman with an inhaler
Forget the family photos and gallery walls—Amazon found a better use of your wall space. This wall decal of a “senior woman with asthma” is sure to be a conversation starter. Here are the Amazon hacks every online shopper needs to know.
Yodeling pickle
Need a gift for the person who has everything? We guarantee this is one thing your friend doesn’t have. Apparently, this plastic pickle “yodels its little heart out at the push of a button.”
French fry holder
Don’t you just hate when you’re eating some nice, crispy French fries on the go, but they go flying when you break for a stoplight? Never fear! The “Fries on the Fly” multi-purpose universal French fry holder is here. The base fits in standard car cup holders and keeps fry containers upright so you can snack anytime you’re in the car. Didn’t finish them on the drive to your destination? You can hang the device from your belt and turn it into your personal fry holster.
Corgi butt shoulder bag
It may not be a designer handbag, but this soft, adorable purse is a must-have for any Corgi lover. Plus, it’s practical; there’s a convenient hole to slip your headphones through right under the tail.
Duct tape necktie
Ties have long been a go-to Father’s Day gift, but unless you’ve taken an inventory of Dad’s closet, you run the risk of buying him a tie that’s too similar or identical to one he already has. Luckily, there’s this one made out of duct tape that comes wrapped up like a roll of duct tape, which will surely become the most creative accessory in your dad’s wardrobe. Check out these hidden gems on Amazon you’ll wish you knew about sooner.
Grass flip flops
Because who doesn’t want footwear lined with synthetic grass? We know these items are pretty fun, but these are the 19 things you should never buy online.
Temporary pockets
In theory, Pocksie temporary sticky pockets seem surprisingly practical, albeit odd. If you don’t want to lug around a purse and your outfit doesn’t have pockets, simply stick a temporary pocket on the inside of your jacket to keep your ID and credit cards on hand. Unfortunately, several reviewers say they don’t stick very well and are too small to fit a driver’s license by itself. Perhaps an undercover bra stash or garter purse is the way to go.
Shakespearean insult bandages
Beige Band-Aids are blasé and cartoon characters are for kids, but when you have a paper cut, these bandages get you laughing through the pain. Each has a snub from the Bard himself, like “Do thou amend thy face, and I’ll amend my life” (from Henry IV, Part I). Next, check out these things you can buy on Amazon for less than a dollar.
*Prices in this story are accurate as of publication, but are subject to change.
Disclosure: Every product is independently selected by our editors. If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.