21 Scurvy Pirate Jokes to Tell on Talk Like a Pirate Day

Have you heard any good pirate jokes? Well, neither have ayyyye.

Editor’s note: Begin each joke with a hearty “YARRRR” for best results.

pirate_jokes_3_carmensimociStock/carmensimoc

Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

 

Q: Why is pirating so addictive?
A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

 

Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

 

Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
A: He got marooned.

 

Q: How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply?
A: He bought it on sail.

 

Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
A: 8 pirates.

 

Q: What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
A: A rookie

 

Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?
A: One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

 

Q: What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
A: RRRRRRA!

pirate_jokes_1_Anna OmelchenkoiStock/Anna Omelchenko

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C.

 

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

 

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his piercings?
A: A buck-an-ear.

 

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
A: An arm and a leg.

 

Q: Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?
A: Right where ye left him.

 

Q: How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A: Aye to aye!

 

Q: How do ye turn a pirate furious?
A: Take away the ‘p’.

pirate_jokes_2_gremliniStock/gremlin

Q: Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
A: Because he was standing on the deck.

 

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.

 

Q: What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
A: Starrrrrve!

 

Q: What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
A: I, I, R and the seven C’s


Are ye still standing? These 25 brainy jokes will make ye sound like a genius.

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