Q. What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing? A. A cornfield!
Q: Why didn’t the zombie go to school? A: He felt rotten!
Q: Which fruit is a vampire’s favorite? A: Neck-tarine!
Q: How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? A: You use a pumpkin patch!
Q: What do Italian ghosts have for dinner? A: Spook-hetti!
Q: What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet? A: Blood hound!
Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? A: Because there are so many plots there!
Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? A: Vanishing Cream!
Q: What do witches ask for at hotels? A: Broom service!
Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting? A: “Spook when you’re spooken to.”
Q: What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? A: Spooktacles
Q: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? A: Fangs-giving!
Q: What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? A: A Trombone!
Q: What genre of music does a mummy like the best? A: Wrap!
Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad? A: His transparents.
Q: How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? A: Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
Q: What is the name of the witch who lives in the desert? A: Sand-witch!
Q: What does a panda ghost eat? A: Bam-BOO!
Q: What is a recess at a mortuary called? A: A Coffin Break!
Q: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? A: The Dead Sea!
Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair? A: Sham-BOO!
Q: What do you call a witch who lives on a beach? A: A sand-witch
Q: What do birds say on Halloween to get candy? A: Twick-or-tweet
Q. What do you call a droid that likes taking the scenic route? A. R2-Detour!
Q: Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? A: Because a dog was after his bones!
Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? A: He could feel it in his bones!
Q: Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight? A: They’re all size S.
Q. Who helps little pumpkins cross the road on the way to school? A. The Crossing Gourd!
Q. Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? A. So he could visit Pluto!
Q: Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? A. Because she’ll let it go!
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A. Because you can see right through them!
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? A: To make up for his miserable summer. (Credit Southern Living)
Q. What does the ghost call his true love? A. My ghoul-friend.
Q. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? A. He gave her a ring.
Q. What do you call two birds in love? A. Tweet-hearts!
Q. What did the little boat say to the yacht? A. Can I interest you in a little row-mance?
When my grandson Gavin was 4 years old, he loved to “play” the piano. Once, when he was done, we forgot to close the lid to the keys. As we walked by later he said, “I better close the piano or the boogeyman will play some scary songs.”
My son Ryan was 2 years old when his daddy took him out to the little trout pond we built in our backyard. His dad spent a few minutes showing Ryan how to throw the line in the water to catch a fish. Then he said, “OK, son, throw it in.” Ryan threw the entire […]
When I was teaching kindergarten and had a cold, I would often get laryngitis with it. One day a student asked me, “Do you have a frog in your nose?”
At his birthday party, my grandson said, “I love you,” and I replied, “I love you, too.” Then he said, “I wish you were 5 years old like me so you would be around longer.”