Kids’ Jokes

Jokes are for everyone! Let kids have a laugh with these kid friendly jokes.

Nothing makes a parent happier than seeing his or her child laugh. Share these funny jokes for kids and best kids jokes with your mini-me. You may want to even try these corny dad jokes for a smirk and an eye-roll.

Do the Monster Math

Q. Are any Halloween monsters good at math? A. No—unless you Count Dracula!

The Glass Slippers Don’t Help…

Q. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? A. Because she always runs away from the ball!

You Can Fly

Q. Why is Peter Pan flying all the time? A. He Neverlands!

Rolling with Laughter

Did you hear the one about the little mountain? It's hill-arious!

Very Slippery

Q. What's a banana peel's favorite type of shoe? A. Slippers!

Plant Pals

Q. What did the big flower say to the little flower? A. Hi, bud!

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Q. How do vampires start their letters? A. "Tomb it may concern..."

Write On

Q. What's a writing utensil's favorite place to go on vacation? A. Pencil-vania!

It’s a Phase

Q. How does the Man in the Moon cut his hair? A. Eclipse it!

Frozen Accounts

Q. Where do polar bears keep their money? A. In a snow bank!

Prehistoric Humor

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens didn't exist yet!

Tardy Broom

Q. Why was the broom late for school? A. It overswept!

Funny Fowl

Q. What do you call a duck that loves making jokes? A. A wise-quacker!

Hand in Hand

Q. What did the finger say to the thumb? A. I'm in glove with you!

Pickle Pun

Q. What did one pickle say to the other pickle who wouldn't stop complaining? A. "Dill with it."

Blast Off

Q. What's really fast, loud, and tastes good with salsa? A. A rocket chip!

All Ears

Q. What has hundreds of ears but can't hear a thing? A. A cornfield!

Sick Zombie

Q: Why didn't the zombie go to school?

A: He felt rotten!

Vampire Fruit

Q: Which fruit is a vampire's favorite?

A: Neck-tarine!

Broken Pumpkin

Q: How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern? A: You use a pumpkin patch!

Italian Ghosts

Q: What do Italian ghosts have for dinner?

A: Spook-hetti!

Dracula’s Dog

Q: What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?

A: Blood hound!

Cemetery Story

Q: Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?

A: Because there are so many plots there!

Ghost Makeup

Q: What do female ghosts use to do their makeup?

A: Vanishing Cream!

Witch Hotel Guest

Q: What do witches ask for at hotels?

A: Broom service!

Interrupting Ghost

Q: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?

A: "Spook when you're spooken to."

Ghost Glasses

Q: What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred?

A: Spooktacles

Vampire Holiday

Q: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires?

A: Fangs-giving!

Skeleton Music

Q: What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

A: A Trombone!

Mummy Music

Q: What genre of music does a mummy like the best?

A: Wrap!

Spooky Ghost Parents

Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?

A: His transparents.

Locked Cemetery

Q: How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night?

A: Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!

Witch for Lunch

Q: What is the name of the witch who lives in the desert?

A: Sand-witch!

Panda Ghost

Q: What does a panda ghost eat?

A: Bam-BOO!

Halloween Recess

Q: What is a recess at a mortuary called?

A: A Coffin Break!

Ghosts on Vacation

Q: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? A: The Dead Sea!

Boo-tiful Hair

Q: What do ghosts use to wash their hair? A: Sham-BOO!

At Least She Has a Good Sun Hat!

Q: What do you call a witch who lives on a beach? A: A sand-witch

That Candy is for the Birds

Q: What do birds say on Halloween to get candy? A: Twick-or-tweet

For Young Padawans

Q. What do you call a droid that likes taking the scenic route? A. R2-Detour!

Skeleton Chase

Q: Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? A: Because a dog was after his bones!

Skeleton Weatherman

Q: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween? A: He could feel it in his bones!

Superman’s costume

Q: Why are all of Superman's costumes tight? A: They’re all size S.

Pumpkin Pedestrians

Q. Who helps little pumpkins cross the road on the way to school? A. The Crossing Gourd!

Mickey’s Career Change

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? A. So he could visit Pluto!

Lost Balloons Never Bothered Her Anyway

Q:  Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? A. Because she'll let it go!

I Don’t Boo-lieve You

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A. Because you can see right through them!

Cracking Up

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? A: To make up for his miserable summer. (Credit Southern Living)

Prank: Trap the Mouse

Stick a Post-It or a piece of clear tape over the tracking ball on your parent’s computer mouse to keep it from moving. Watch your parents’ confusion as they try...

Prank: Help Them Learn a New Language

Swap the settings on the TV or their phone so they see everything in Spanish or French instead of English. (Now maybe they can help you with your language homework!)

Prank: Underwear Switch-a-Roo

Make getting ready in the morning a little more challenging for everyone in the family by switching the underwear from one person’s drawer to another. (This is especially funny if...

Prank: Oh No – You Cracked Your Phone!

You can really get your parents fooled by pretending their smart phone screen or yours has been cracked. You can download images or even find online apps that will make...

Prank: Block the Shampoo Bottle

Get your parents and siblings into a lather in the shower by sealing off their shampoo, conditioner, or body wash. To do this, unscrew the cap and place a small...

Prank: Power Down the Remotes

Take the batteries out of every remote in the house to make it impossible to change the channel. (Bonus points if you switch the TV to your favorite channel before...

Prank: Turn Tap Water Weird Colors

Kids, make your parents worry about the water quality with this harmless prank. Use a cotton swab to wipe gel food coloring around the rim of the faucet spout, right...

Lovable Monsters

Q. What does the ghost call his true love? A. My ghoul-friend.

I’ll Call You

Q. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? A. He gave her a ring.

A Little Bird Whispered

Q. What do you call two birds in love?

A. Tweet-hearts!

Two Ships Passing in the Night

Q. What did the little boat say to the yacht?

A. Can I interest you in a little row-mance?

Musical Mayhem

When my grandson Gavin was 4 years old, he loved to “play” the piano. Once, when he was done, we forgot to close the lid to the keys. As we...

A Fishing Fiasco

My son Ryan was 2 years old when his daddy took him out to the little trout pond we built in our backyard. His dad spent a few minutes showing...

A Ribbiting Story

When I was teaching kindergarten and had a cold, I would often get laryngitis with it. One day a student asked me, “Do you have a frog in your nose?”

Golden Years

At his birthday party, my grandson said, “I love you,” and I replied, “I love you, too.” Then he said, “I wish you were 5 years old like me so...

Hay, Oats and Fairy Dust

Our 4-year-old granddaughter, Ivy, has been taking riding lessons for over a year. One day during breakfast, she was talking with her mom about horseshoes. Ivy’s mom said the person...

Where Eggs Come From

When my daughter, Brooxie, was 5 years old, she’d stay with my husband’s parents while we were at work. One day Brooxie was helping Papaw gather eggs. While putting the...

Breads and Braids

Head lice had been detected on a child in the local school, and the teacher told the girls in his class to wear their hair in a bun to discourage...

Baby on Board

My mother was babysitting my son, Lance, and they were watching a foal being born on 
a farm animal show on TV. With wide-eyed innocence, 3-year-old Lance looked at my...

Pick Up Sticks

We took our 3-year-old grand-son, Sawyer, and his parents to 
a Chinese restaurant. While we enjoyed our wonton soup and other dishes, Sawyer and his dad wanted to eat their...

Taste and See

Two 10-year-old boys from the mountains were riding a train to the city for the first time. For a snack, the attendant gave them bananas. The boys had never eaten...

Two by Two

A few years back, Criseyda, my granddaughter, was visiting me. After a while, the house became very quiet. Calling out, I said, “Criseyda, where are you?” Her answer: “Mimi, I’m...

Test Questions

When my eight-year-old asked how I knew I was pregnant, I told her I had taken a pregnancy test. “Oh,” she said. “What questions were on the test?”

Halloween Math

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin pi

Smarty Pants

The skeleton decided to bone up on the facts for the big exam.