Christmas Jokes

Ho-ho-ho with our collection of funny Christmas jokes.

Did You Dye Your Beard?

You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking…

The Wright Way to Give

One Christmas, my grandfather gave me a box 
of broken…

Mazel Tov, Mary!

Christmas is a baby shower that 
went totally…

Christmas Freedom

The holiday 
season:
a deeply religious 
time that…

Better Luck Next Year

I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with…

Insulting Santa

This mall 
Santa seems insulted that I put down that…

It Beats a Board Meeting

The office Christmas party 
is a great opportunity to…

Scrooge, Junior Grade

Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister:…

Part-Time Work

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a department store…

No Umbrellas at the North Pole?

Q: Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet? A:…

Reindeer Lessons

Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went…

Green Thumb?

Q: Why does Santa have three garden plots up at the North…

Great White Christmas

Q: Who delivers Christmas presents to good little sharks…

Oh, iGet It

Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with…

What Does December Have…

What does December have that other months don’t have?…

Laughing All the Way!

Q: What is a lion’s favorite Christmas carol? A:…

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Q: Why did the children call St. Nick “Santa…

Open Mic Night at the North Pole

Q: What did the reindeer say before telling his joke? A:…

Christmas in Eden

Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas? A: It’s…

Yule Log

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Yule log. Yule log who?…

Gift of The Magi?

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted…

The Truth About Santa

I tell my kids that Santa is fat because he eats the…

‘Tis The Season…Isn’t It?

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go…

Stop the Presses

These holiday “headlines” — concocted by the…

Gift Exchange

My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank…

Limited Knowledge

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve…

Alternate History

My mother cast one of her students as the innkeeper for the…

The Little Man

A teenager waltzed into our jewelry store to buy a cross…

Meet and Greet

Spotted outside a church in Michigan: "Honk if you…

Waiting

My wife took our three-year-old to church for the first…

Into the Church

Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the…

Interesting Gifts

For Christmas, I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweater…

Entrance to Heaven

Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where…

Christmas Eve Service

Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity…

Odd Christmas Visit

From an article on the Woolacombe Bay Hotel in Devon…

Weary Travelers

Worshippers are greeted by these words at the Travelers…

Honest Questions

Two kids are on their way to Sunday school when one says to…

Misplaced

A pastor I know of uses a standard liturgy for funerals. To…

Quick Clean-up

Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an…