50 Cat Puns That Are Paws-itvely Purrfect

To be purrfectly honest, cats are so funny they can make us snort out loud (which scares them, so try to keep it down!). Sharing cat memes and giggling over the best jokes have kept millions of humans sane during boring meetings and rainy days stuck inside, so why not pay your furry friends back with some funny cat puns of their own? WARNING: Don’t read these cat jokes while eating because while cats are silly, sweet, funny, athletic and lovable, most haven’t been trained in the Heimlich maneuver.

Cat puns

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• What happens to a cat who misbehaves at work? They have to report to Purr-sonnel.
• What did the gym coach say to the cat? Have you paid your annual fleas?
• Why do cats purr? A: To let you know they’re feline groovy.
• What do you call a cat who likes jazz music? A cool catio.
• What do you call a cat that throws all the most expensive parties? The Great Catsby.
• What do you call a cat that’s a beauty influencer? Glamourpuss.
• What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants? Purrr-suasive.
• Why don’t cats like shopping online? They prefer cat-alogues.
• What is a well-read cat’s favorite book? Of Mice and Men.
• What do you call a cat that gets caught by law enforcement? The purrpatrator.
• What do you call a cat who redecorates your house while you’re away? Meowtha Stewart.
• What do you call a cat who loves spaghetti? A pawstaterian.
• What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show? A cat-has-trophy.
• What did the cat do after her home was broken into? She called claw enforcement.
• What do cats do after having an argument? Hiss and make up.
• What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare play? The Purrchant of Venice.
• What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare quote? “Tabby, or not tabby, that is the question.”
• What do you call a clumsy cat? A cat bungler.
• Why do cats do the best make-up tutorials? They’re purrfect at cat-eyes.
• What’s it called when a cat sits on more than one human? Doing laps.
• What do you call a feline who uses artificial intelligence? A copycat.
• What is my cat’s favorite Beatles song? Litter Be.
• Nameowste: The cool cat in me honors the cool cat in you.
• It’s important to practice purr-serverance.

Even the most s-cat-terbrained can remember these funny short jokes.

Kitty puns

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• My favorite reality show is The Great Kittish Baking Show. There’s very little baking, but lots of catty remarks.
• How to you get a kitty to settle down? Don’t even try because it’s imp-paw-ssible.
• How can you tell your kitten is smart? She wears cat-eye glasses.
• A feline is the shortest distance between napping and mischief.
• My kitten’s favorite TV show is Purrsey Shore.
• What’s a kitty’s favorite kitchen utensil? A whisk-er.
• Why did the kitty trip? It was her first time wearing kitten heels.
• What do you call a kitten who cuts her hair really short? A bob cat!
• Who are kitties’ heroes? Wolverine, Edward Scissorhands and the paper shredder.
• Why did the kitten hide in the closet? She was skittenish.
• Why was the cat sitting on the computer? He was keeping an eye on the mouse!
• What’s a kitten’s favorite country music song? A: I Will Always Scratch You by Dolly Purrton.

Even cat lovers can appreciate these funny dog puns that deserve a round of a-paws.

Cat puns for kids

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• What kind of sports car does a cat drive? A Furrari.
• What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? Santa Claws!
• What’s every cat’s favorite color? Purrrrrrple!
• What’s a kitten’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory.
• What do cats wear at night? Paw-jamas.
• What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A sourpuss!
• What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? An octo-puss.
• There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? None, because they were all a bunch of copycats.
• Which two sodas does a cat like best? Dr. Peppurr and Meowntain Mew.
• What do you call a cat sleeping in your shoe? Puss in boots.
• What do you call a kitten who pretends she wasn’t shredding the toilet paper? Lion.
• What do you call a big pile of cats? A purramid.
• What do you get when you mix a blue kitten with a red one? Purr-ple.
• What’s a kitten’s favorite breakfast cereal? Shredded Wheat.

Feline like you want more laughs? Then check out these equally funny cat jokes.

Why trust us

Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.