60 Cat Jokes That Will Have You in Hiss-terics
Updated: May 08, 2024
Meow you're talking! Get ready for some claw-some cat jokes you'll want to share with everyone you know.
If you think you’ve heard every cat joke in the book, you’re in for a real treat. We’ve dug up a litter of the best jokes about felines for the funniest five minutes you’ll spend on the internet today. It’s paw-ssible that these cat jokes might even be more hilarious than your favorite cat memes. We’re not kitten!
From punny zingers to knee-slapping knock-knock jokes for adults and kids, our collection of cat humor will have you laughing like a hyena. (That’s a type of cat, right? Er, don’t Google that.) So get ready to unleash your inner crazy cat lady with these hiss-terical cat jokes.
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Best cat jokes
- What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?
Claw & Order: Special Kittens Unit.
- What do you call the cat that gets caught by the police?
The purrpetrator.
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!
- What’s a cat’s favorite song?
“Fur Elise.”
- Why don’t kittens like online shopping?
They prefer cat-alogues.
- Why did the cat ask for a drum set?
To play some bangin’ purrcussion!
- What did the cat say when it lost all its money?
“I’m paw!”
- Why don’t cats like house parties?
Too many cat-astrophes.
- What do you call a cat who runs the post office?
Post Meowster.
- What do you call a cat who works in business?
A purrfessional.
- What do you call a cat who teaches at a university?
A purrfessor.
- How do you impress a cat at dinnertime?
Prepare a fancy feast.
- Why did the cat complain all the time?
He heard that cats have whine lives!
- How do cats say 10/10?
Purrfect.
- Why shouldn’t you buy essential oils from a cat?
It’s probably a purr-amid scheme.
- Why didn’t the cat get promoted to management?
He had terrible littership skills.
- Why is it annoying to watch TV with cats?
They keep paw-sing the show.
If you can’t resist a good play on words, check out this claw-some list of cat puns.
Funny cat jokes
- What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.
- What do you call a cat who loves to bowl?
An alley cat.
- What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-ntain.
- Why did the cat cross the road?
To get to the other scratching post.
- What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrple.
- What did the cat say to the dog?
“Meow-t of my way!”
- What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
A mice cream cone.
- What’s a cat’s favorite jacket?
A purr coat.
- What’s a cat’s least favorite jacket?
A fleas-lined coat.
- What’s a cat’s favorite comedy show?
Caturday Night Live.
- What do you call a cat prom?
A Fur Ball.
Want to howl with laughter? These dog jokes will do the trick!
Cat knock-knock jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Meow.
Meow who?
Meow you doing?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Purr.
Purr who?
Purrfect, that’s who!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Feline.
Feline who?
Feline fine after reading all these cat jokes!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pet.
Pet who?
Pet me right meow!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oh, just these perfectly terrible bad jokes that you can’t help but laugh at.
Cat jokes for adults
- What is a cat’s favorite thing to drink on a summer day?
White Claw.
- What does a cat order at a bar?
A Whisker Sour.
- Why aren’t cats religious?
They’re scared of dogma.
- Why does the cat do stand-up?
He lives for the a-paws.
- What is a feline’s favorite Andrew Lloyd Webber musical?
Phantom of the Opera. (Tricked you! You thought I was going to say Cats!)
- What’s a cat’s favorite board game?
Cat-an!
- What is a cat’s favorite type of fashion?
Haute cat-ure.
- What is a cat’s preferred kitchen tool?
A whisk-er.
- Why was the cat so frustrated?
She was a purrfectionist!
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
- What is a cat’s favorite type of exercise?
Paw-lates!
- Where did the cat go for culture?
The meow-seum.
- What did the cat say to his friend who claimed to be dating a supermodel?
“You’re kitten, right?”
- Why did the cat have trouble writing his second novel?
He only had one tail to tell.
If you’re the literary type, these book puns will have you tickled ink.
Cat jokes for kids
- Who gives cats the best presents?
Santa Claws!
- Why do cats always beat dogs in video games?
Because they have nine lives.
- Why did the cat become a magician?
He loved to purrform tricks.
- Why did the cat join the choir?
She had purrfect pitch.
- How does a cat answer the phone?
“Meow may I help you?”
- Why did the cat wear a tuxedo?
He was feline fancy!
- Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark.
- Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he’s always spotted.
- Where did the kitten want to have her birthday party?
At a pounce house.
- What party game do cats love to play?
Mew-sical chairs.
- Why is the cat scared to look under the bed?
Because of the meow-nster!
- Why don’t kittens play fetch?
They’d rather cat-ch a nap.
- Why did the cat get sent to the principal’s office?
He had a bad cat-itude in class.
- What is a cat’s best subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
Are your little ones hungry for more laughs? Try these food jokes for kids to score major brownie points.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this story on the funniest cat jokes, Laura Beck tapped her 15-plus years of experience as a professional humor writer for TV shows and magazines. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Originally Published: May 08, 2024
