45 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Share Around the Table
We should all embrace the humor of this holiday. Here are some funny Thanksgiving quotes to gobble up with your guests.
Gobble up these funny Thanksgiving quotes
Ah, Thanksgiving—the time of year where we get together with loved ones to enjoy a delicious meal and enjoy one another’s company. Needless to say, there’s bound to be plenty of laughs throughout the day. Whether you’re cracking Thanksgiving jokes or solving fun Thanksgiving riddles together, the humor will naturally come as you spend time together. Another great way to get the laughs going is by reading funny Thanksgiving quotes to one another.
These funny Thanksgiving quotes capture the humor in preparing a big meal, spending time with family, and of course, eating tasty food. Share them with your loved ones this year and debate which one is most relatable over dinner (these quotes make great Thanksgiving Instagram captions, too!)
“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” —Johnny Carson. Check out the best Thanksgiving games to play with your family this year.
“Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.” —John Lyon. Read more funny quotes guaranteed to make you and your loved ones laugh.
“I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.” —Kumail Nanjiani. Check out these unique pieces of Thanksgiving trivia to share around the table this year.
“May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” —Anonymous. Looking to start new traditions this year? Here are some meaningful Thanksgiving traditions to consider.
“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?” —Jim Gaffigan.
“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that?” —Howie Mandel.
“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.” —Mitch Hedberg.
“I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults’ table. That’s ’cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.” —Andre Kelley.
“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.”—Rita Rudner.
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”—Kenny Rogerson
“We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” —George Carlin
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”—Jay Leno
“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.”—Michael Dresser
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” —Erma Bombeck
“Coexistence: What the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving.”—Mike Connolly
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”—Stephen Colbert
“If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.”—Ina Garten
“For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.”—Andy Borowitz
“Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftover in aluminum foil and throw them out.”—Nicole Hollander
“Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.” —Ambrose Bierce
“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.”—Damien Fahey
“It’s Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together!”—Rachel Green, Friends
“You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”—Dylan Brody
“A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”—Kin Hubbard
“You can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. That’s like Fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas.”—Joey Tribbiani, Friends
“Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped.”—Just Bill
“I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.”—Robert Brault