My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Award-winning
Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A. Because he was outstanding in his field.
CATEGORIES
- Animal Jokes
- Animal Puns
- Bad Puns
- Bar Jokes
- Birthday Jokes
- Cat Jokes
- Cat Puns
- Christmas Jokes
- Coffee Jokes
- Computer Jokes
- Corny Jokes
- Customer Service Jokes
- Cute Puns
- Dad Jokes
- Daily Life Jokes
- Diet Jokes
- Doctor Jokes
- Dog Jokes
- Dog Puns
- Dumb and Funny Jokes
- Easter Jokes
- Family Jokes
- Food Jokes
- Food Puns
- Funny Headlines
- Funny Quotes
- Funny Stories
- Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Holiday Jokes
- Kids’ Jokes
- Knock-Knock Jokes
- Lawyer Jokes
- Love Jokes
- Marriage Jokes
- Math Jokes
- Math Puns
- Military Jokes
- Mom Jokes
- Money Jokes
- Music Puns
- Office Jokes
- Old Age Jokes
- One-Liners
- Political Jokes
- Puns
- Relationship Jokes
- Religious Jokes
- Riddles
- Santa Jokes
- School Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Skeleton Puns
- Sports Jokes
- Text Jokes
- Thanksgiving Jokes
- Travel Jokes
- Turkey Jokes
- Valentine’s Day Jokes
- Weather Jokes
- Weight Loss Jokes
I do
Q. Our wedding was so beautiful …
A. Even the cake was in tiers.
Fall meets winter
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite
Lunch food
Q. I hate jokes about German sausages.
A. They’re the wurst.
Shoe time
Q. Dad, can you put my shoes on?
A. I don’t think they’ll fit me.
Swimming
Q. Is this pool safe for diving?
A. It deep ends.
Changing of the seasons
Q. Can February March?
A. No, but April May
Ahoy!
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
History lessons
Q. I’m reading a book on the history of glue.
A. I just can’t seem to put it down.
Behind bars
Q. If prisoners could take their own mugshots what would they be called?
A. CELLphies
Ocean Waving
Q. What did the ocean say to the sailboat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Cat Flames
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
Smart Shovel
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
Don’t Buy Velcro
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
Grapes Make Wine
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
Sleepy Bicycle
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Not Your Cheese
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
