63 Funny Dog Jokes for Kids That’ll Make Them Howl with Joy

True story: My dog once grabbed a pair of my son’s dirty, smelly socks and put them under the Christmas tree with the wrapped presents. We thought her “gift” was hilarious—she was sharing something she clearly loved with the humans she dearly loved. Perhaps it was just a coincidence, but I like to think my dog has a sense of humor, especially when it comes to the kids. Sometimes she’ll look at them running amok and then turn to me with a heavy sigh as if to say, “Puppies … what are you gonna do?” If you’re a pet owner, then you know there’s just something so funny about our furry friends. One way to appreciate that with your own puppies (er, children) is with these dog jokes for kids.

Ready to unleash your sense of humor and make your kids bark with laughter? Read on for the best jokes to share with your family.

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Funniest dog jokes for kids

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• What is a dog dentist’s favorite tooth?
  The canine.

• Why did the woman throw a ball for her dog?
  Because it was his birthday, and he loves to dance.

• Who wears a fur coat in the winter and pants in the summer?
  My dog.

• What is a dog’s favorite song to listen to after a bath?
  “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift.

• Why don’t dogs play cards in the wild?
  There are too many cheetahs out there.

• Why did the boy name his dog Ten Miles?
  So he could tell his gym teacher he walked Ten Miles every day.

• What do you call a floating dog?
  A good buoy.

• Why was the dog such a good musician?
  Because he had perfect “pooch.”

• What did the dad say when his daughter asked, “Have you seen the dog bowl?”
  “No. I didn’t even know he could hold a bowling ball!”

• How do you know your dog is a genius?
  You ask him, “What is two minus two?” and he says nothing.

• Why did the dog cross the road?
  To get to the barking lot.

• Why do dogs howl at the night sky?
  They get excited to see the bark side of the moon.

• Why is a dog like a tree?
  They both have a bark.

• Why was everyone shocked that I let my pup drive my car?
  They had never seen a dog park before.

• What is a dog’s favorite Christmas song?
  “Bark the Herald Angels Sing.”

• Why can’t you tell a dog a knock-knock joke?
  Because every time she hears knocking, she won’t stop barking.

• How can you tell if your dog is lazy?
  He only chases parked cars.

Are your kids howling with laughter over these funny dog jokes? Keep the giggles going with these short jokes for kids.

Puppy jokes for kids

• What does a dog stay in when she goes camping?
  A pup-up tent.

• What do you call a group of puppies that leaves trash all over the house?
  Littermates.

• Why was the puppy crying?
  She was having a ruff day.

• What do you call a puppy in the winter?
  A chili dog.

• Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side?
  He’s in puppy love!

• What type of music do young dogs like the best?
  Pup music.

• What is a puppy’s favorite dinner?
  Pup-eroni pizza and soda pup.

• What did the mama dog say to the baby dog when he wouldn’t stop asking for treats?
  Quit hounding me.

• What do you call little sleeping doggies?
  Hush puppies.

• What did the puppy write on a Valentine’s Day card to his crush?
  You’re pretty paw-some.

• Why did the puppy chase his tail?
  He was trying to make ends meet.

• What do you get when you cross a puppy with a calculator?
  A best friend you can count on for the rest of your life.

• What should you do for your pup’s first birthday?
  Throw her a paw-ty!

For more family fun, check out these hilarious food jokes for kids. Ready for more jokes about dogs? Keep reading!

Dog-breed jokes for kids

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• If they were to cast only dogs in movies, who would play Harry Potter?
  Spaniel Radcliffe.

• When it’s raining cats and dogs, what do you risk stepping in?
  A poodle.

• What do you say when two dogs have a crush on each other?
  They caught the love pug.

• Why are border collies such good listeners?
  Because you can tell they really herd you.

• Which dog breed has never done anything wrong?
  Saint Bernard.

• What do you call a vampiric dog?
  A bloodhound.

• Which type of dog is also a lamb?
  A sheepdog!

• Why is my dog’s back always sore?
  He’s a mastiff.

• Which dog is the quietest?
  The Alaskan malamute.

• What do you call a large dog that meditates?
  Aware wolf.

• What kind of dog is most like a cat?
  A purr-man shepherd.

• What was the dog’s job at the fancy hotel?
  He was a Labra-doorman.

• What is a witch’s favorite breed of dog?
  A Yorkshire scarier.

• What kind of dog should you use to help unlock a door?
  An A-key-ta.

• What do you call a dog that does yoga?
  A foldin’ retriever.

• What kind of dog never throws anything away?
  A hoarder collie.

• What’s the hardest part of owning 100 Chihuahuas?
  Fitting them into a giant purse!

If these dog jokes for kids are tickling your funny bone, you’ll go wild for our favorite animal memes. They prove just how funny our furry friends can be.

Dog knock-knock jokes for kids

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• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Dog.
  Dog who?
  Doggone it, will you open the door?!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Ron.
  Ron who?
  Ron inside—I’m being chased by a dog!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Interrupting dog.
  Interrupting dog wh—
  Woof! Woof!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Eileen.
  Eileen who?
  Eileen over to pet every dog I meet.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Rover.
  Rover who?
  Rover here it’s freezing, so please let me in!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Ooze.
  Ooze who?
  Ooze a good boy? You are!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boo.
  Boo who?
  You don’t have to cry. I found your lost puppy.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Fetch.
  Fetch who?
  Fetch me some kibble—I’m starving.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Woof.
  Woof who?
  Woof you please open the door?

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Irish.
  Irish who?
  Irish you would buy me a puppy.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Bark.
  Bark who?
  Bark if you love dogs, and let me in!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Tail.
  Tail who?
  Tail me a joke, and I’ll fetch you a laugh.

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Canine.
  Canine who?
  Canine get a treat for coming to your door?

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Unleash.
  Unleash who?
  Unleash the hounds, I say!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Furry.
  Furry who?
  Furry up and open the door. I’m drooling with excitement!

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Paw.
  Paw who?
  Paw-lease let me in!

Don’t stop here. If you liked these dog jokes for kids, you’ll love these children’s knock-knock jokes too.

Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Reader’s Digest runs it.