100+ Thanksgiving Jokes the Whole Family Will Gobble Up
Updated: May 07, 2024
Treat friends and family to these hilarious Thanksgiving jokes for the baste holiday ever!
Buckle up, pilgrims! Thanksgiving is almost here, and as we gather with friends, family and a whole lot of food—and deal with all the stress that goes with it—who couldn’t use a good laugh? Well, you’re in luck. We’re serving up a corny-copia of hilarious Thanksgiving jokes, puns, knock-knock jokes and serious side-splitters that will have everyone rolling on the floor. (Just stay out of the kitchen because that’s dangerous!)
So pass the yams, but don’t pass on these cheeky chestnuts. When it comes to dishing out the best jokes to entertain adults, kids or yourself, we’ve got you covered. And you don’t have to be a turkey to be game!
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Funny Thanksgiving jokes
- Who delivers the best Thanksgiving sides?
Yam-azon.
- What do you call a smart-alecky butterball?
A fresh turkey.
- What do you call a silly male turkey’s behavior?
Tomfoolery.
- In what state did the pilgrims arrive?
Exhaustion.
- Where did the pilgrims learn to play music?
The School of Plymouth Rock.
- What do you call an attractive pilgrim?
A Puri-ten.
- What do you get when you cross burrowing insects with pilgrims?
Ant-cestors.
- How can you be naked and dressed at the same time?
Ask a turkey.
- What do you call pilgrims who like to boogie?
Dancestors.
- What event was held on the Mayflower the day after Thanksgiving?
A Black Friday sail.
- What do you get when you cross a butter substitute with a funny joke?
A ghee slapper.
- What do you get when you cross an ornamental container with a brass instrument?
A horn-ucopia.
- What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google!
- What Arthurian palace rarely served turkey?
Ham-elot.
- What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
- What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash.
- Why did the mashed potatoes cross the road?
To get to the other sides.
- Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?
Because it will make him blush.
Always forget the punchline? You’ll never have that problem with these short jokes anyone can remember.
Thanksgiving dad jokes
- What did the Three Stooges pilgrim say when he first spotted Plymouth Rock?
Land Moe!
- Which movie character makes the worst mashed potatoes?
Forest Lump.
- Did you hear about the genie who was summoned by the cook?
He granted three dishes.
- What do you call a turkey running on a football field?
Lost.
- Why don’t pilgrims sue?
Because they like to settle.
- What superhero has the power to make people sleepy?
Trypto-Man.
- What do you call a golfing turkey?
A putter-ball.
- What device do turkeys use to turn on the lights?
The flapper.
- What did the Beverly Hillbillies name their yacht to honor Thanksgiving?
The Ellie Mae-flower.
- What is the quietest dessert?
Key Mime Pie!
- What do you get when you cross coffee creamer and a football game?
Half-and-half time.
- What do wrestlers have for dessert?
Grapple pie.
- What champagne do male turkeys like to drink?
Tom Perignon.
- What do you call a nanny who uses her magical powers on Black Friday?
Mary Shoppins.
- What did everyone tell the complaining pilgrim on the Mayflower?
We’re all in the same boat!
- What famous poet and playwright was known for his yummy pies?
Bakespeare.
- Where do lumberjacks go the day after Thanksgiving?
The chopping mall.
Are these corny jokes right up your alley? Lucky for you, we’ve got another helping of dad jokes you’ll love.
Thanksgiving jokes for kids
- What has four legs and is really loud?
The kids’ table.
- What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
- What is the fastest-cooking Thanksgiving dish?
Insta-ham.
- What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with a Thanksgiving dessert?
Hanna Banana Pie!
- Who was the singer on the Mayflower?
Sailor Swift.
- What do you call a cartoon character who had too much to eat?
Spongebob Split Pants!
- Why do pilgrims’ pants keep falling down?
Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats.
- What type of key has legs and can’t open doors?
A turkey.
- Why did the turkey need help walking?
He gobbled till he wobbled.
- What do you always get at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g.”
- Why did the turkey get sent to the principal’s office?
He used fowl language.
- Where do chemistry students sit on Thanksgiving?
At the periodic table.
- Why was everyone fighting over the corn on Thanksgiving?
Because it was a-maize-ing!
- Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
Here are more food jokes for kids that will spread hap-pea-ness on Thanksgiving and beyond.
Thanksgiving jokes for adults
- Why don’t turkeys fly?
Because they can’t afford the tickets.
- What’s the hardest part about smoking a turkey?
Lighting it!
- What do you get when you cross a marinating process with a Steven King novel?
The Brine-ing.
- What made the pilgrims on the Mayflower high?
Sea weed.
- Who do you get when you cross a turkey with a famous red-haired comedian?
Lucille Butterball.
- What do turkeys have in common with the White House?
They both have wings.
- What TV comedy series featured a neurotic female turkey?
Curb Your Hen-thusiasm.
- What do you call a turkey who gets excited playing guitar?
Eric Flap-ton.
- What is a turkey’s favorite ’60s band?
The Yardbirds.
- What do you call a turkey rock concert?
Wood-flock.
- What species on Star Trek was half alien and half turkey?
Wing-on.
- In what TV show did a royal decide not to cook turkey for Thanksgiving?
The Queen’s Ham-bit.
- What do you call a starch served to grunge rockers?
Pearl yams.
- Who do you get when you cross turkey soup with a rock star?
David Lee Broth.
- What do you get when you cross a Thanksgiving side dish with a pioneering rock guitarist?
Chuck Cran-Berry.
- What was the Village People’s most famous Thanksgiving song?
“In the Gravy.”
- What do you call a fire-breathing creature that’s had too much to eat?
Stuffed the Magic Dragon.
Looking to use your brain as well as your belly on the holiday? Feast your eyes on these tricky Thanksgiving riddles!
Thanksgiving turkey jokes
- What do you call a turkey who’s not that supportive?
A fair feather friend.
- What do you call someone who likes the sleepy ingredient in turkeys?
A Trypto-fan.
- Did you hear about the turkey who had a fever?
He had a temperature of 350!
- What do you call a badly behaved Thanksgiving bird?
A grounded turkey.
- What is the coldest Thanksgiving leftover?
Turkey chilly.
- What do you call a butterball who likes to take the subway?
An Underground turkey.
- Where do you find smart turkeys?
In a brain forest.
- What do you call a turkey who’s bad at bowling?
A gutterball.
- What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
- What was the turkey looking for at the toy store?
Gobbleheads.
- What does a turkey use to tell the future?
A crystal butterball.
- What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?
A poultry-geist!
- What’s the most musical part of a turkey?
The drumstick.
- Why can’t you take turkeys to church?
They use fowl language.
- Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
- Why do turkeys lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they would break.
- What did one turkey say to the other turkey at the bar?
“Let’s get basted.”
- Why did the turkey refuse dessert?
He was stuffed.
For more holiday silliness, check out these Thanksgiving memes you’ll want to show everyone at the dinner table.
Thanksgiving Day jokes
- What do you call people thumbing through magazines after eating a big Thanksgiving meal?
Readers digesting.
- What do the universe and your waist after Thanksgiving dinner have in common?
They’re both expanding.
- What do you call a turkey surrounded by family?
Dinner.
- Why was pest control called to Thanksgiving dinner?
It was infested with aunts.
- What do you call astronauts after Thanksgiving?
The Right Stuffed.
- How do you compliment the family comedian on Thanksgiving?
“You’re on a casse-roll!”
- What does a turkey give thanks for on Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians.
- What did the baker say to the pumpkin?
“I only have pies for you.”
- Why didn’t the cook season the turkey?
She ran out of thyme.
If you love a good play on words, raise a glass to these wine puns that pair perfectly with your Thanksgiving meal.
Thanksgiving knock-knock jokes
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Taylor.
Taylor who?
Taylor to pass the yams!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew we have more cranberry sauce?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to eat our vegetables first?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hollywood.
Hollywood who?
Hollywood you please pass the green beans?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara is Black Friday. Let’s go shopping!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Poppy.
Poppy who?
Pop, he threw a turkey leg at me!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and pass those sides—I’m hungry!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita bigger pair of pants after all that food!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive your pumpkin pie! Can I have another slice?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Thanksgiving!
Now that we’ve given you a taste of this classic humor, dive into this huge collection of knock-knock jokes for kids.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
