30 Funny Wine Quotes That Will Uncork the Laughs

Updated: Jul. 07, 2021

Good wine and good laughs: the perfect combo.

Funny wine quotes to accompany your glass of vino

Wine is a beloved beverage across the globe—and for good reason. There seems to be a type of wine for everyone, whether you like bitter wine, sweet wine, or something in between. It helps bring people together, celebrate achievements, and it even helps you unwind after a long day. There’s plenty of wine sayings that capture the fun aspects of wine, including wine puns and some seriously funny drinking quotes. The next time you pour yourself a well-deserved glass of vino, read these funny wine quotes as a little added bonus (and then read these funny coffee quotes in the morning!)

Funny wine quotes about age

1. “I think I’m like wine. The older I get, the better I get.”—Zlatan Ibrahimović

2. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.”—Joan Collins

3. “I qualify myself like a bottle of wine—the more I get older, the more it tastes sweet!”—Patrice Evra

4. “Difficult choices, unlike red wine, rarely improve with age.”—Richard N. Haass

5. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.”—Pope John XXIII

6. “Age appears best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.”—Francis Bacon

RELATED: What Happens When You Drink a Glass of Wine Every Night

Thomas Becon Quoterd.com

Funny wine quotes about wisdom, truth, wit, and life

7. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.”—Thomas Becon

8. “Truth comes out in wine.”—Pliny the Elder

9. “Sarcasm is like cheap wine—it leaves a terrible aftertaste.”—Dana Perino 

10. “It is widely held that too much wine will dull a man’s desire. Indeed it will in a dull man.”—John Osborne

11. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.”—Louis Pasteur

12. “There is truth in wine and children.”—Plato

13. “We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.”—Eduardo Galeano

14. “Time, motion, and wine cause sleep.”—Ovid

15. “Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books.”—Stephen Fry

16. “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.”—Ernest Hemingway

17. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.”—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

18. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson

RELATED: Red Wine Stain Removal: Everything You Need to Know

Horace Quoterd.com, Getty Images

Funny wine quotes that will make you chuckle

19. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”—W.C. Fields

20. “What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.”—Diogenes

21. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”—Rumi

22. “A meal without wine is like a day without sun.”—Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

23. “No poem was ever written by a drinker of water.”—Horace

24. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.”—Martin Luther

25. “I don’t do karaoke. I don’t dance, even at weddings. I’m the grumpy one sitting down drinking wine.”—Ricky Gervais

26. “My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.”—Jonathan Swift

27. “I shall drink no wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time.”—Groucho Marx

28. “Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.”—Henry Fielding

29. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”—Benjamin Franklin

30. “Always carry a corkscrew and the wine shall provide itself.”—Basil Bunting

RELATED: 6 Genius Ways to Open a Wine Bottle Without a Corkscrew

Next, relax on the couch with a glass of wine and read these funny movie quotes you can’t resist laughing at (just make sure you don’t spill!).

African American Senior Couple On the Town with Ice Creamadamkaz/Getty Images

The 121 Funniest Quotes of All Time