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21 Anti-Jokes You Can’t Help but Laugh at Anyway

Trading traditional humor for groan-inducing literal punch lines, these anti-jokes challenge the idea of what a joke can be—and we bet they'll still make you laugh.

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Young asian couple toasting with beer at rooftop partystaticnak1983/Getty Images

A man walks into a bar. “Ouch.”

The magic of anti-jokes is that you’re expecting a clever or punny punch line, but instead, the punch line is as anti-climactic and literal as possible. As eye-roll-inducing as they can be, these jokes take the very idea of what a joke is and turn it right on its head. Here are some of our favorite anti-jokes that are funny by accident.

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Group Of Friends Drinking In Craft Beer BarHinterhaus Productions/Getty Images

What did one Frenchman say to the other?

I have no idea; I don’t speak French.

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muffins in ovenAndrei Salavei/Shutterstock

Two muffins are sitting in the oven.

One says, “Wow, it’s hot in here.” The other one says, “Sure is. Probably about 350 degrees Fahrenheit.”  Were you expecting another punch line from this anti-joke? Well, we’ve got that joke, too.

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Curly-haired brunette with bottled beer talking and smiling at unfocused bartenderClick and Photo/Shutterstock

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, “to whom.”

Loving these anti-jokes? Here are some more knock knock jokes everyone will appreciate.

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Laughing brown horseJustinas Galinis/Shutterstock

A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

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Farmer with hat standing in a coffee plantation field and looks into the distance. Concept imageAndre Nery/Shutterstock

What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor?

“Where’s my tractor?”

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Six colored numbered books in a rowMauro Carli/Shutterstock

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear. Learn the secrets to telling a great joke, straight from stand-up comedians.

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A group of young and energetic Chinese Asian coworkers sit around a table and have a light hearted business discussion. They are smiling and laughing as they talk and have a conversation. mentatdgt/Shutterstock

Want to hear something that’ll make you smile?

Your face muscles.

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Toy Story , Buzz Lightyear (Character) Woody (Character)Moviestore/Shutterstock

What did Buzz Lightyear say to Woody?

A lot. There were three movies, and a couple short films too. For more laughs, don’t miss these bad puns.

10 / 21
Rabbi holds kiddish cup with wine in front of Groom and BrideDavid Cohen 156/Shutterstock

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.

They all get a drink, because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions. Check out some more of our favorite “walks into a bar” jokes.

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Dracula - 1931Universal/Shutterstock

What’s a vampire’s favorite food?

Vampires aren’t real.

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Hand of the buyer with a piece of cheese in the storeSergey Ryzhov/Shutterstock

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Stolen. Stealing is bad and you should return it. Here are some of our favorite corny puns that are so bad they’re good.

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African American Senior Couple On the Town with Ice Creamadamkaz/Getty Images

What do you call a cross between…

…a joke and a rhetorical question?   —Reddit user Jesus_The_Super_Jew

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Girl holding bowl colorful variety game indoor.Spring song/Shutterstock

What’s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

A blonde is a living person with a specific hair color, and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used in the sport of bowling.

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Red white black through tissue samples textiles for making clothesAnatolii Mazhora/Shutterstock

What’s black and white and red all over?

Due to the expansive nature of the universe, many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner. Move over, anti-jokes. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you might just be a genius!

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Flag of a Pirate skull and crossbones Silvia Pascual/Shutterstock

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

None. Historians believe that most pirates were most likely illiterate.   —@AntiJokeCat  These clever jokes will instantly make you sound smart.

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Chuck Norris attends event of beer company in Cartagena de Indias, Colombia - 27 Feb 2018Ricardo Maldonado Rozo/Shutterstock

Chuck Norris walks into a bar.

He gets treated with great respect, since he’s such a talented actor.

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Two young scientists holding chemical sample in test tubeLightField Studios/Shutterstock

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”

Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.

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The side of policeman with gun.RUCHUDA BOONPLIEN/Shutterstock

What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?

Officer.

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African man wearing hipster black hat and glasses and pretty girl with ginger hair talking to their common female friend in red checkered shirt, having nice time together during breakfast at cafeWAYHOME studio/Shutterstock

Helium walks into a bar.

He orders a drink and wonders why his parents decided to give him such an unusual name, as he can never find it on personalized souvenirs. Plus, baristas never, ever get it right.

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Rose market all roses colorsSuriyan Dangintawat/Shutterstock

Roses are red, violets are blue…

…but roses can also be many other colors, including yellow, pink, and white; and violets actually look more purple than blue, hence their name. Next, check out these 75 hilarious short jokes anybody can remember.