20 Biology Jokes So Funny, They Cell Themselves

If LOLs are in your DNA, you’ll love these hilarious biology jokes.

Who says science can’t be funny? Like we said—the jokes really cell themselves! It doesn’t hurt that biology jokes can make you seem like a total brainiac, just like these 25 clever jokes that will make you sound smart. Though science jokes will take up a different space in your brain than math jokes, they’ll still come across as funny all the same.

Of course, we can’t all be good at all the jokes, so for those of us who are more fond of biology or chemistry jokes, these are for us. Math fans not invited! Just kidding—the science lab is big enough for everyone. You just have to master your molecular puns to join in. Once you’ve done that, you’ll also be invited in to all the fun with rock puns. And trust us, that’s one collection you won’t take for granite.

1. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?

They had no chemistry.

2. What did the cell say when he ran into the table?

Mitosis!

3. Why wouldn’t the scientist go into the haunted house?

He was too petrified.

4. Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book?

It was a hard cell.

5. What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood?

B positive!

6. Why did the woman break up with the biologist?

He was too cell-fish.

7. Where did the viruses go?

They flu away.

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8. What do you call it when your Biology grade is close to an F?

Biodegraded.

Folded jeans on yellow backgroundrd.com, Getty Images

9. Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?

They’re allowed to wear genes to work.

10. What do biologists post on Instagram?

Cell-fies.

11. Why aren’t students allowed in the biology teachers’ lounge?

It’s for staph only.

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12. What do you call an organic compound with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid.

13. Why do biologists like to travel?

It makes them more cultured.

14. What do hipster biologists wear?

Skinny genes.

15. Why did the scuba diver fail biology?

He was below “C” level.

16. How does a marine biologist end a conversation?

Sea you later!

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17. Why was the amoeba sad?

His parents just split.

18. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide.

Mushrooms on green backgroundrd.com, Getty Images

19. Why was the mushroom so popular?

He was a real fungi.

20. What did the femur say to the patella?

I kneed you.

Now that we’ve put you in the mood with these biology jokes, it’s time to talk about the birds and the bees—or, actually, just the bees. Check out these bee puns worth buzzing about.

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Hedy Phillips
Hedy is a freelance writer for places including Best Life, POPSUGAR, InStyle, and more. She devotes 99% of her time to snuggling with her cats and 100% of her money to following Harry Styles around on tour. She's always on the lookout for another slice of New York pizza and she's never met a Starbucks drink she doesn't like.