A Trusted Friend in a Complicated World

Music Puns

Make a brooding musician laugh with these music jokes and guitar puns.

Skip to your own beat with these music puns and music jokes that will have you singing for joy.

On the Bright Side

A musician friend is always upbeat. But when she developed ringing in one ear, I was concerned it might overwhelm even her. When I asked whether her condition was especially...

Balloon Music

What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music

Musical Snake

What is the musical part of a snake? The scales.

Musicians Park a Car

What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park? “Bach it up.”

Lost Keys

Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano.

Duvet Cover

Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.

Notes of Tea

Which composer likes tea the most? Chai-kovsky.

Turkey Talent

How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.

Notes in a Bar

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”

Avocado Jams

What’s an avocado’s favorite music? Guac ‘n’ roll.

Dropped Piano

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor.

Musical Cow

What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician.

Troubled Musician

What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.

Beethoven’s Favorite Fruit

What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA.

Musical Fiancé

What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Feyonce.

Tee Up the Band

What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music? Swing.

Play it By Ear

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

Buried Musician

What is Beethoven doing now? De-composing.

Musical Threat

A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, “Is that a fret?”

Scandalous Bands

Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV? Too much sax and violins.

Too Much Linkin Park

My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Don’t You Fret

A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied, "Is that a fret?"

Show Your Work

Q: Why was the math book depressed? A: Because it had so many problems.

I Liked Numbers Before They Were Cool

Q: Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?

A: He found it too derivative.

Not Safe For Symphony

Q: Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?

A: Too much sax and violins.

Beethoven Today

Q: What is Beethoven doing now?

A: De-composing

A Descending Chord

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

A: A-flat minor

Country Music, Backwards

Q: What happens if you play a county song backwards?

A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.

New Age, Backwards

Q: What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?

A: New Age music.

Music To-Go

Q: Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?

A: To get away from the noise.

The Music Thieves

Q: Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?

A: For the lute.

Composer Puns are Classical

There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.

Ludwig Van had a Farm

Q: Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

A: All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

The Beethoven Diet

Q: What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

A: BA-NA-NA-NAAAAA!

Lost Composure

Q: Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?

A: He was Haydn

No C Notes to Spare

Q: Why didn’t Handel go shopping?

A: Because he was Baroque.

A Quick Joke

Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?

Never mind, it’s too short.

Top Brass

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?

A: With a tuba glue.

Stand and Deliver

Q: How do you make a bandstand?

A: Take away their chairs.

A Dad’s #1 Music Complaint

I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m listening to music in 4/4.

Trumpetbeard the Dread

Q: How are trumpets like pirates?

A: They both murder in the high C’s

Balloons On The Air

Q: Which musical genre makes balloons terrified?

A: Pop.

Fishing For Chords

Q: What’s the difference between a piano and a tuna?

A: You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.

A Sign for Music Nerds

A sign at a music shop: “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet.”

Three Notes Walk into a Bar…

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”