Text Jokes

LOL with these funny text jokes.

If you thought your texts were funny, take a look at these text jokes and funny text messages!

Hell vs. He’ll

Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll. —Constance Normandeau

All’s We’ll that Ends We’ll

We'll we'll we'll...if it isn't autocorrect.

Wrong number

Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me? Person 2: Wrong number. Person 1: What’s your number then?

Texting your doctor

Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3...

Wrong number

Guy: I’m sorry. I hate when we fight cuz I really like you too and wanna be with you too and everytime we fight I feel like I’m gonna make...

Texts from Mom

Mom: How make chicken Daughter: What? Mom: Where buy chicken Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google. Mom: Avocado

Never text Dad for help

Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it? Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry. Daughter: Dad… Daughter: Dad…...

Drive safe

I saw a driver texting and driving. It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.

Not again, autocorrect!

Autocorrect has become my worst enema.

Bad odds

Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.

Fishy text

"I feel like carp today" "Yeah, you look a little fishy"

Hungary text

“I am hungary.” “Maybe you should czech the fridge.” “I’m russian to the kitchen.” “Is there any turkey?” “We have some, but it’s covered in greece” “ew, there’s norway I’d...

Talk is (not) cheap

Anyone who thinks "talk is cheap"... obviously didn't pay my daughter's last mobile phone bill!

Still can’t read minds

The guy who invented predictive text died last night. His funfair is next monkey.

Check before you send

The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today. Restaurant in peace.

No kidding

Q: What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? A: Dead Siri-ous

Getting into contact

Q: Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? A: It lost its contacts.

Listen Up, People

You know you're texting too much when... You type ppl instead of people in a letter.

Old School

You know you're texting too much when... ...you try to text, but you're on a landline.

Somebody Stop Me

You know you're texting too much when... ...you're happy when you get stopped at a red light.

LOL in RL

You know you're texting too much when... ...you say LOL in real life, instead of just laughing.  

MSW?! (Mom say what?!)

Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents: Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL. Son: Why is that funny? Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean? Son:...