60 Funny (and Sweet) Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids

Updated: May 31, 2024

Your little loves will get a kick out of these adorable Valentine’s Day jokes for kids—and so will you!

A box of chocolates. A dozen roses. A candlelit dinner for two. On Valentine’s Day, romance gets all the love when it comes to Valentine’s Day ideas. But what about heartfelt smiles and laughter with family and friends? For kids, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to spread love with sweet hugs and handmade cards. Of course, we know the cute rhymes and Valentine’s Day jokes in those cards are often written with a little help from a parent, grandparent or caregiver. But if you’re searching for the very best Valentine’s Day jokes for kids, look no further!

We’ve searched the Internet and archives for Valentine’s Day puns, sweet riddles and love jokes that make for adorable Valentine jokes for kids. And the best part? Adults will enjoy them too.

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Valentine’s Day jokes for kids about love

How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart? He gave her a ring.rd.com, Getty Images

1. What did one lightbulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

 I love you watts and watts.

2. What did one bee say to the other?

I love bee-ing with you, honey. 

3. What did the tree say to the houseplant?

 Do you beleaf in love?

4. What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!

5. What did one sheep say to the other?

I love ewe!

6. What do you call a ghost’s true love?

Their ghoul-friend

7. What did the refrigerator say to the magnet?

I find you very attractive.

8. How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart?

He gave her a ring.

9. What kind of candy is never on time? (And no, it’s not candy hearts.)

ChocoLATE

10. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?

I’m stuck on you!

11. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine’s Day?

Tulips

12. What do you say to a spider on Valentine’s Day?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

13. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Yes! It’s Feb. 14.

14. What did the scientist say to his sweetheart?

We’ve got good chemistry.

15. What did the dustpan say to the broom?

You sweep me off my feet!

16. Why would you want to marry a goalie?

Because he (or she) is a real keeper!

17. What shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day?

A-cute triangle

18. Why couldn’t the calendar work late on Valentine’s Day?

He had a date.

19. Why couldn’t the two shooting stars spend Valentine’s Day together?

It simply wasn’t meant to be—they were star-crossed lovers.

20. What did the man say after Cupid hit him with a love arrow?

Ow!

21. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day?

You can count on me.

22. What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?

You get buttered up.

23. What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?

Guppy love

Punny Valentine’s Day jokes for kids

Hogs and kisses valentine punrd.com, Getty Images

24. What did one Jedi say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

Yoda one for me!

25. What did the cook say to his girlfriend?

You’re bacon me crazy!

26. What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day?

Cauliflower

27. What did the volcano say to his mother?

I lava you.

28. What did the squirrel say to his mate?

I’m nuts about you.

29. Why are flowers popular on Valentine’s Day?

Because they’re scent-imental! (Awww.)

30. What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

Hogs and kisses

31. What do you write in a Valentine’s Day card for a slug?

Be my valen-slime!

32. What did the doorknob write to his love in their Valentine’s Day card?

I adoor you!

33. What did the kitten say on Valentine’s Day?

You’re purr-fect.

34. What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?

Whale you be mine?

35. What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?

A valen-tiny

36. What did the painter say to her sweetheart?

I love you with all my art.

37. What did the cucumber say to his friend?

You mean a great dill to me.

38. What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day?

Be my valen-stein!

39. What did the street performer say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?

Be mime!

40. What did one pie say to the other?

Pie like you berry much.

41. What did the needle say to the thread?

You’re sew special to me.

42. What did one oar say to another?

Can I interest you in a little row-mance?

43. What do you call sweets that can keep a beat?

Candy rappers

Valentine’s Day jokes for kids about the heart

Funny And Sweet Valentines Day Jokes For Kids about the HeartRD.com, Getty Images

44. What’s red on the outside and has you on the inside?

My heart. Ba-dum-bump!

45. Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

His heart wasn’t in it. (Tee-hee!)

46. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?

He stole her heart.

47. Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party?

Because you can really party hearty!

48. What shade of red is your heart?

Beat red!

49. What are artichokes known for? 

Their hearts

Valentine’s Day knock-knock jokes for kids

45 Funny And Sweet Valentines Day Jokes For Kids 4 Knock Knock Gettyimages 1366585272 V2RD.com, Getty Images

50. Happy Valentine’s Day! Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Howard.

Howard who?

Howard you like to be my valentine?

51. Hello again! Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you!

52. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby Valentine’s Day!

53. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Atlas.

Atlas who?

Atlas, it’s Valentine’s Day!

54. Knock, Knock!

Who’s there?

Eye.

Eye who?

Eye want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day!

55. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Iguana.

Iguana who?

Iguana hold your hand.

56. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Loves.

Loves who?

Loves you!

57. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad it’s Valentine’s Day?

58. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Fangs.

Fangs who?

Fangs for being my valentine.

59. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Donut.

Donut who?

Donut you know I love you!

60. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Peas.

Peas who?

Peas be my valentine!