32 Funny (and Sweet) Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids

Get ready for some serious giggles. Your little loves will get a kick out of these adorable Valentine’s Day jokes—and so will you!

A box of chocolates. A dozen roses. A candlelit dinner for two. On Valentine’s Day, romance gets all the love. But what about heartfelt smiles and laughter with family and friends? For kids, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to spread love with sweet hugs and handmade cards. Of course, we know the cute rhymes and Valentine’s Day jokes in these cards are often written with a little help from a parent, grandparent, or caregiver. If you’re searching for the very best Valentine jokes for kids, look no further! We’ve searched the Internet and archives for cutesy puns, sweet riddles, and adorable Valentine’s Day jokes for kids—and adults, too!

What’s red on the outside and has you on the inside?

My heart. Ba-dum-bump!

What did one Jedi say to the other?

Yoda one for me! While we’re on the topic of a galaxy far, far away, find out how May the Fourth became a Star Wars holiday. And if you’re parenting a Padawan or two, check out these baby Yoda gifts.

What did the cook say to his girlfriend?

You’re bacon me crazy! By the way, do you want to serve up a perfectly themed Valentine’s Day breakfast? Sizzle some bacon, make heart-shaped pancakes, slice up a beautiful pink grapefruit, and top it off with this beautiful strawberry dessert that has been pinned over 112,000 times. Later, cook up one of our favorite romantic dishes.

What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

I love you watts and watts. Of course, these Valentine’s Day jokes for kids aren’t the only things that will brighten their day. These age-appropriate riddles will also do the trick!

What did the refrigerator say to the magnet?

I find you very attractive. This joke is pretty adorable (and corny, sure), but so is this true story of a couple who met at a class called “How to Be a People Magnet.” It’s straight out of a romantic comedy!

How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart? He gave her a ring.rd.com, Getty Images

How did the doorbell propose to his sweetheart?

He gave her a ring. Valentine’s Day is certainly a popular holiday for proposals and weddings. But do you know why we propose with rings instead of, say, crowns or bouquets of roses? Here’s the real reason engagement rings are a proposal tradition.

What kind of candy is never on time?

ChocoLATE. Ha, ha, ha. Writing puns is harder than it looks. Find out how to write the perfect pun, according to a competitive punner.

What did the volcano say to his mother?

I lava you. How sweet! If your kiddos are creating Valentine’s Day cards for their mama, find even more inspiration in these heartwarming mother-son quotes.

What kind of flower do you never give on Valentine’s Day?

Cauliflower. What a letdown! Did you know that different types of flowers have different meanings? For example, yellow roses symbolize friendship, and daffodils represent happiness. Learn what these other Valentine’s Day flowers say about your relationship.

What did the squirrel say to his mate?

I’m nuts about you. Pair this silly pun with a Reese’s cup, Payday, or Almond Joy for a picture-perfect Valentine’s Day card. Just make sure your recipients don’t have nut allergies!

Why are flowers popular on Valentine’s Day?

Because they’re scent-imental! Awww. Valentine’s Day is a chilly winter holiday in most parts of the United States. We use flowers to remind our loved ones of bright, happy days ahead. But why are some flowers more popular than others? Find out why roses are the most common flower on Valentine’s Day.

What did the kitten say on Valentine’s Day?

You’re purr-fect. Kids will also love seeing the cutest cat breeds as kittens.

Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend?

He stole her heart. There’s more crime where that came from. Learn the surprisingly dark history of Valentine’s Day.

Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day?

His heart wasn’t in it. Tee-hee! Are your kids craving more skeleton-themed puns? They’re ghoul-den on Halloween. Enjoy these 20 skeleton puns you can’t help but find “humerus.”

What did the whale say to his sweetheart on Valentine’s Day?

Whale you be mine? This sort of Valentine’s Day joke for kids is particularly great because it uses a pun, which brings a playful twist to language development. Here are more “pun-derfully” funny puns for kids that you can use all year long.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?

I’m stuck on you! A little more trivia for you: Who decides what goes on a postage stamp? (Hint: It takes a whole committee to do the job!)

What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?

A valen-teeny. 

What did the cucumber say to his friend?

You mean a great dill to me. Get it? Because cucumbers fermented in vinegar, salt, and dill turn into dill pickles! Here are 15 pickle-flavored foods for all you pickle lovers.

What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

Hogs and kisses. We hope she was OK with those presents! For something that’s sure to be a hit, check out these Valentine’s Day gifts for every stage of a relationship.

What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine’s Day?

Tulips. February can be a challenging month for your two lips. If you’re suffering from chapped lips this winter, try these 7 home remedies for dry lips.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Howard.

Howard who?

Howard you like to be my Valentine?

Hello again! Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you!

What do you say to a spider on Valentine’s Day?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand! This joke also works with an octopus in the question. Kids who love animals will also appreciate our favorite horse jokes and funny animal memes.

What did one bee say to the other?

I love bee-ing with you, honey. This Valentine’s Day joke for kids is as sweet as they come!

What did the squirrel say to his mate? I'm nuts about you. rd.com, Getty Images

What did the painter say to her sweetheart?

I love you with all my art. Speaking of art, kids love getting crafts on Valentine’s Day. This winter celebration of love is the perfect time to make cards for grandparents or create drawings for far-away friends. Grab some paper supplies and dive into these cute Valentine’s Day crafts you can make at home.

Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Yes! It’s February 14th. Valentine’s Day isn’t just an American holiday. Check out these 14 Valentine’s Day traditions from around the world.

What did Frankenstein’s monster say to his bride on Valentine’s Day?

Be my Valen-stein! Even kids who haven’t heard of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein probably know some version of the green-faced monster. Someday, they might learn to appreciate the famous novel, too. If you’re looking for a new page-turner, try one of these high school English class books you should read again as an adult.

What did one pie say to the other?

Pie like you berry much. Winter pies include pumpkin, rhubarb, and pecan. But no one says you can’t get a head start on summer with a fruit pie! Valentine’s Day strawberry pie sounds delightful!

What did the needle say to the thread?

You’re sew special to me. Valentine’s Day is all about making your loved ones feel special. But it doesn’t all have to be sizzling passion and romance. Keeping the kids included with corny Valentine’s Day jokes or cute love memes makes for a special day.

What did the tree say to the houseplant?

Do you beleaf in love? We’re wishing these star-crossed lovers the best of luck! And speaking of romance, pick your favorite on our list of 60 best romance novels of all time. If true love is more your style, enjoy this roundup of real-life love stories from Reader’s Digest contributors.

What did the scientist say to his sweetheart?

We’ve got good chemistry. Kapow! Speaking of science, why not peruse these 25 scientific facts you didn’t learn in school? After all, being smart is sexy.

What did the dustpan say to the broom?

You sweep me off my feet! Whether or not you’ve found your perfect match, these funny love quotes will give you the giggles. Enjoy!

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Leandra Beabout
Leandra Beabout is a freelance journalist and branded content writer with a BA in English education from Indiana University. She writes about travel, health, and literature for Reader's Digest, Lonely Planet, CNN, and Literary Hub, among other publications. She is also a regular contributor to Greatist.com. Leandra is based in Indiana. Follow her on Instagram @LeandraBeabout and LinkedIn Leandrabeabout