Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.
Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A. A buccaneer.
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
Q. Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight? A. It had too many sleepless knights.
Q. Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? A. Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.
I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. She said, “Wii.”
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents!
I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended. (Credit: justbadpuns.com)
Q. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? A. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.
All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up. (Credit: justbadpuns.com)
Q. Why can’t you run through a campground? A. You can only ran, because it’s past tents. (Credit: @punnstagram)
What do you call a thieving alligator? A Crookodile
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe
What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork chop
Q: What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? A: You’re one in a melon
Don’t go bacon my heart. I couldn’t if I fried.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple
I love you from my head tomatoes
Q: What do you get when two dinosaurs crash their cars? A: T-Rex
Q: What job did the frog have at the hotel? A: Bellhop
Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? A: Pork chop
Q: What do you call an everyday potato? A: A commentator
Q: How do you put a baby alien to sleep? A: You rocket
Q: What do you call a thieving crocodile? A: A crookodile
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato
Q: What did the volcano say to his wife? A: I lava you
Q: What do you call and owl that does magic tricks? A: Hoodini
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor? A: It wasn’t peeling well
Q: What do you call a classy fish? A: Sofishticated
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: Gummybear
Are you a cheetah? No, you lion!
Q: How do you organize a space party? A: You planet
Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
Q: What do you call and alligator in a vest? A: An investigator
Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear? A: Thunderwear
Shout out to the people who ask what the opposite of “in” is. (Credit: justbadpuns.com)
I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y. (Credit: justbadpuns on tumblr)