Trick or Treat! You Need to Learn These 20 Corny Halloween Jokes

Need to tickle a skeleton’s funny bone? Try one of these.

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Q: Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A: They have no body to love

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

MORE: Test out these cheap DIY Halloween decorations that will make this your spookiest holiday ever.

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels

Q: What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos.

MORE: If you want more laughs, give these punny Halloween costumes a try this year.

Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

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Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.

MORE: These skeleton puns will have you on the floor laughing.

Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.

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Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
A: Boo-gers

MORE: These are the stories behind those spooky Halloween traditions and how they came to haunt us.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.

Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

MORE: Try out these free pumpkin carving stencils to bring your jack-o’-lantern to the next level.

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Q:What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

Originally Published in Reader's Digest

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Andy Simmons
Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest.