Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
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Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the W.
Q: How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night?
A: Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.
Q. What has hundreds of ears but can’t hear a thing?
A. A cornfield!
Q. What does the ghost call his true love?
A. My ghoul-friend.
Q: What do you call a man who lures women into his place and turns them into ghastly freaks?
A: A 1980’s hairdresser!
Q: What goes Ha-ha-ha-ha!, thud!!! and keeps laughing?
A: A monster laughing it’s head off!
Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.