Coffee Jokes
Wake up on the right side of the bed with our coffee puns and barista jokes.
These funny coffee jokes, latte puns and espresso puns will kick-start your morning with enough energy to last all day.
Coffee Snob
Up All Night to Get More Coffee
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Sad Coffee
Let It Be
Cup o’ Mud
Coffee Timeout
Coffee Thief
Coffee Computers
Hipster Coffee
Bold Moves
Juvenile Java
Sky’s the Limit
New Life Rule
Daily Grind
Brew For the Birds
My Kind of Soup
Bless You
Pants on Fire
Sweet Thing
Ouch!
Beatles Brew
Mug Love
Cup of Computer
Hot Stuff
A Hipster’s Dilemma
Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Prophet of the Break Room
Q: How does Moses make his coffee?
A: He brews.
Q: How does Moses make his coffee?
A: He brews.
The Most Heinous Crime
Q: What do you call it when someone steals your morning coffee?
A: A mugging.
Q: What do you call it when someone steals your morning coffee?
A: A mugging.
The Daily Grind
Q: What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work?
A: Break fluid
Q: What’s the technical name for a pot of coffee at work?
A: Break fluid
Oddly Familiar Coffee…
Q: What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
A: Déjà brew
Q: What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
A: Déjà brew
A Tale of Two Coffees
Q: What did the Brazilian coffee say to the Indonesian coffee?
A: “What’s Sumatra with you?”
Q: What did the Brazilian coffee say to the Indonesian coffee?
A: “What’s Sumatra with you?”
A Tall Blonde Walks Into a Cafe…
A tall blonde walks into Starbucks. The barista says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The blonde says, “You have a drink named Tiffani?”
A tall blonde walks into Starbucks. The barista says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The blonde says, “You have a drink named Tiffani?”
Jumper Cables Walk into a Cafe…
A pair of jumper cables walk into a cafe. The barista sees them and says, “I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. I don’t want you starting anything in here.”
Coffee For Two
A man walks into a coffee shop carrying a big chunk of asphalt under his arm. At the counter he says, “I’ll take a large latte for myself, please, and one for the road.”
Low-Blow Brew
Q: Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso?
A: It’s a cheap shot.
Q: Why should you be wary of 5-cent espresso?
A: It’s a cheap shot.
The Dangers of Coffee Talk
Q: Why shouldn't you discuss coffee in polite company?
A: It can make for a strong and heated debate.
Q: Why shouldn't you discuss coffee in polite company?
A: It can make for a strong and heated debate.
Knock, knock! (Coffee’s here)
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A guy that just had 4 shots of espresso!
A guy th—
Now you say, “a guy that just had 4 shots of espresso who?”
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
A guy that just had 4 shots of espresso!
A guy th—
Now you say, “a guy that just had 4 shots of espresso who?”
A New Word For Coffee Drinkers
New word: Procaffeinating (n). - the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had your coffee.
New word: Procaffeinating (n). - the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had your coffee.
The truth about Yawning
A yawn is just a silent scream for coffee.
A yawn is just a silent scream for coffee.
Espresso Express
Q: Why did the espresso keep checking his watch?
A: Because he was pressed for time.
Q: Why did the espresso keep checking his watch?
A: Because he was pressed for time.
Fresh Ground Beef
Did you hear about the cow that gave birth?
It was de-calf-inated.
Did you hear about the cow that gave birth?
It was de-calf-inated.
The Doctor and the Coffee Drinker
A man visits his doctor for a checkup. “Doc, I think something’s wrong with my brain,” he says. “Every time I take a sip of coffee I get this stabbing pain in my right eye.”
“I see,” says the doctor. “Have you tried taking the spoon out?”
Not what you ordered
Q: What do you call sad coffee?
A: Depresso
Q: What do you call sad coffee?
A: Depresso
A warm reminder
Drinking too much espresso can cause a latte problems.
Drinking too much espresso can cause a latte problems.