Jokes > Weather Jokes
What does daylight saving time mean in Seattle?
Where do lightning bolts go on dates?
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy?
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Q: How does a hurricane see? A: With its eye.
Q: Can Bees fly in the rain? A: Not without their yellow jackets.
Q: What is a Queens favorite kind of precipitation? A: Reign!
Q: What is the Mexican weather report? A: Chili today and hot tamale.
Q: What did the evaporating raindrop say? A: I’m going to pieces.
Q: What did the hail storm say to the roof? A: Hang onto your shingles, this will be no ordinary sprinkles.
Q: What do you call a wet bear? A: A drizzly bear
Q: What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? A: A weekend.
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An Umbrella.
Q: What does it do before it rains candy? A: It sprinkles!
Q: Why did the man use ketchup in the rain? A: Because it was raining cats and hot dogs
Q: What did one raindrop say to the other? A: Two’s company, three’s a cloud
Q: Why does Snoop dog need an umbrella? A: Fo’ Drizzle.
Q: What’s the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down.
Q: When does it rain money? A: When there is “change” in the weather.
Q: What is a king’s favorite kind of precipitation? A: Hail!
Q: Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open? A: Because she expected some change in the weather.
Q: What happens when fog lifts in California? A: UCLA!
Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise.
Q: Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado? A: Udder disaster!
Q: What did the lightning bolt say to the other lightning bolt? A: You’re shocking!
Q: What type of cloud is so lazy, because it will never get up? A: Fog!
Q: What type of lightning likes to play sports? A: Ball lightning!
Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? A: Thunderwear!
Q: How do hurricanes see? A: With one eye!
Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? A: In a snow bank.
No, I’m not walking on string-cheese stilts. These are just my first bare legs of the season. @sassycurmudgeon (Una LaMarche)
Red sky at night, shepherd’s
delight. Blue sky at night, day. Humorist Tom Parry
We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out. Lew Schneider
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.” Phil Noyes, Yakima, Washington