Math Puns

Q: How do you stay warm in an empty room? A: Go stand in the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.

Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river? It was three feet deep, on average.

Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? A: Because it’s two gross.

Q: Are monsters good at math? A: No, unless you Count Dracula.

I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “Give me a beer.” The second says, “I’ll have a half a beer.” The third says, “A quarter of a beer, please.” The bartender pours two beers and says, “Come on, people. Know your limits.”

Q: Why do teenagers always travel in groups of 3, 5, or 7? A: Because they can’t even.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

I don’t get the point of decimals. I’m more partial to fractions.

Q: Why should you wear glasses during math class? A: They say it improves division.

When algebra teachers retire, how do they cope with the aftermath?

Old mathematicians never die. They just disintegrate

I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch. He could binomial.

Q: What did the mermaid wear to math class? A: An algae-bra.