Q: Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop? A: To make ends meat
Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? A: He was on a roll!
Q: Who’s a dessert’s favorite actor? A: Robert Brownie, Jr.
Q: When do you go at red and stop at green? A: When you’re eating a watermelon.
Q: What do you call cheese that is sad? A: Blue cheese.
What do you call blueberries playing the guitar? A jam session.
Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective? A: He got to the root of every case.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener.
Q. What’s the difference between a shamrock and a bread knife that gets used a lot? A. The shamrock is a four-leaf clover, and the knife is a four-loaf cleaver.
Q. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race? A. Wow, I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Q. Which thrill ride does a wine glass love to go on the most? A. A coaster! (Credit: justbadpuns.com)
Q. How do you keep intruders out of a castle made of cheese? A. Moatzarella.
Q. What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face? A. Too close for comfort food.
Did you hear the one about the guy who invented Tic Tacs? They say he made a mint.
Q. Which type of vegetable tries to be cool, but is only partly successful at it? A. The radish.
I can’t stand potato puns. I think they’re pomme de terrible.
Q. What do you call a round, green vegetable that breaks out of prison? A. An escapea.
Q. Why does yogurt love going to museums? A. Because it’s cultured.
Q. What do you call a fake noodle? A. An impasta.
Person 1: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Person 2: How?! Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.
SPOILER ALERT: That milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.
Q: Why did the dieter go to the paint store? A: He wanted to get thinner.
Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe.
What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
Boy, I just got hit in the head with a can of soda. I was lucky it was a soft drink.
Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? A: Pulled-Pork.
I went to a seafood restaurant and slipped. I pulled a mussel.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Q: What do you call the king of vegetables? A: Elvis Parsley.
You know what’s hard to beat for breakfast? A boiled egg.
Spending a lot of time at the coffee bar can cause a latte problems.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
A guy just threw a glass of milk at me. How dairy!
I was going to grow an herb garden, but I couldn’t find the thyme.
The majority of Americans find bananas a peeling.
The price of candy at the movie theater is ridiculous. They’re always raisinet!
Every morning I think I’m going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.
I love when candy canes are in mint condition.