The Last Facebook Status Update

Frank Ferri … is standing over a patient in the operating room, scalpel in hand, wishing he hadn’t lied on his résumé about being a surgeon. Here goes nothing …

Frank Ferri … is in a marriage-counseling session with his wife, wondering what the score of the football game is. Go, Eagles!

Frank Ferri … thinks that if his boss doesn’t like him sleeping on the floor of the office, then his boss shouldn’t have gotten such comfy carpets.

Frank Ferri … needs help robbing the bank over on the corner of Main and Willow. Any takers? Be there around noonish.