Q. Why can't you run through a campground?
A. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
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Q. How much room should you give fungi to grow?
A. As mushroom as possible.
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.
What did the librarian say when the books were in a mess? We ought to be ashamed of ourshelves!
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Where is the bar tender?”
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1Forrest1
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.