School Jokes

You’re never too cool for school with these school jokes.

Make school fun with our collection of school jokes from preschool jokes to college jokes, school puns and teacher puns.

Criminal Knowledge

My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of...

Missing the S

Shortly after my son started college, the president of the university had an assembly for the new students. "Welcome to Johns Hopkins," he began, "And please note that it’s Johns,...

paperless

Kids have a greater need for speed than classroom computers can deliver. Impatient to turn in his term paper, one restless student kept clicking the "Print" command. The printer started...

Achy Bones

My friend John came into French class one Monday with a pillow that he placed on his seat. Over the weekend he had been skiing and mildly fractured his tailbone....

Big Question

According to the Internet: Students in a Harvard English 101 class were asked to write a concise essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The only A+ in...

Child Talk

In honor of Memorial Day, the teacher I worked with read the Constitution to her third-grade class. After reading “We the people,” she paused to ask the children what they...

Light Reading

Most of my English literature classmates thought reading Melville’s Billy Budd would be an easy task because the novel is only 90 pages long. One boy, however, complained that the...

Southern Representative

Danny was hard to miss at our school. A Civil War buff who forever wore his Confederate overcoat, he was a friend to all. When he was passed over during...

Stars in the Sky

Freshmen in the general-science class at Mark Twain Middle School in Mar Vista, Calif., were studying astronomy. "What do we call a group of stars that makes an imaginary picture...

Hard Worker

A police car with flashing lights pulled me over near the high school where I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration, my students began to drive...

Preaching to the Choir

A friend was assigned a new post teaching English to inmates in prison. Feeling a little nervous on his first day, he began by asking the class a basic question:...

Grammar Lesson

Driving my car one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign. I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former English teacher. "Mrs. Brown," he...

Flu Symptoms

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were named Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One morning the mother of a student called in the middle of...

Office Hours

When I became a licensed chiropractor, I moved back to my hometown and soon had a thriving practice. One morning I saw a new patient whom I recognized as my...

Bar School

The board of education in a nearby town sold off a building that had been a one-room schoolhouse. The buyer converted it to a tavern. One day an elderly man...

Matchmaker

A student in my math course at Ohlone State College in Fremont, Calif., developed a severe case of tendinitis. Since she couldn’t write, she brought a video camera to tape...

School Supplies

After registering for his high school classes, my son burst into the house, filled with excitement. "Dad," he announced in one breath, "I got all the classes I wanted. But...

Smart in Some Areas

Toward the end of the school year, the sixth-grade teachers decide which of their students should be accelerated in certain subjects in the seventh grade. When a child is chosen,...

Class Act

Recently I was grading history tests for my fourth-graders. I’d included an extra credit question: "List up to five good facts about Abraham Lincoln." One of my D students surprised...

Fitting Into Small Spaces

Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him...

Loss Over Technology

The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of the small Catholic university where I work was about to be demolished. As the wrecker’s ball...

Male and Female

Faculty members at Texas Christian university were urged to become familiar with the timesaving machines of the new computer center. Basic courses in their use were given, and research projects...

More Than Welcomed

My fellow teacher called for help—she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net." Expecting to find some...

Planning Ahead

The day before my graduation from Soldan High School in St. Louis, the principal called an assembly. He wanted to say farewell informally, he explained, as he reviewed our years...