Q: What did the gym coach say to the cat? A: Have you paid your annual fleas?
Q: What do you call a cat that throws all the most expensive parties? A: The Great Catsby
Q: What is a well-read cat’s favorite book? A: Of Mice and Men
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke? A: Just kitten!
Q: What kind of sports car does a cat drive? A: A Furrari.
Q: What do you call a cat that’s a beauty influencer? A: Glamourpuss.
Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants? A: Purrr-suasive.
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? A: Santa Claws!
Q: What do you call a cat that gets caught by law enforcement? A: The purrpatrator.
Q: What’s every cat’s favorite color? A: Purrrrrrple!
Q: What does the narcissistic cat say as she looks in the mirror? A: I am pawsitively gorgeous.
Q: What did the cat say when he went bankrupt? A: I feel so paw!
Q: Why don’t cats like shopping online? A: They prefer a cat-alogues.
Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer? A: He was keeping an eye on the mouse!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A: A sourpuss!
Q: What do cats wear at night? A: Paw-jamas.
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? A: An octo-puss.
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: She wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? A: None, because they were all a bunch of copycats.
Q. What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show? A. A cat-has-trophy.
CAT TO OWNER: Why are you so upset that I shed on the couch? It’s called fur-niture!
Q. What do you call a sad cat that’s in a hurry? A. A Russian Blue. (Credit: @CatPuns)
Did you hear about the woman who refused to get her female cat spayed? She was arrested for littering.
Q. Which two sodas does a cat like best? A. Dr. Peppurr and Meowntain Mew.
Q. What do you call it when a swarm of cats slows down your airplane? A. Purr-bulence. (Credit: @CatPuns)
Q. What’s a British cat’s favorite fantasy book? A. Hairy Pawter and the Philoso-purr’s Stone.
Q. What do you call a kitten that cuts her hair really short? A. A bob cat!
A CAT’S FAVORITE LITERATURE CHARACTERS: Holden Clawfield Jay Catsby Catticus Finch (Credit: Buzzfeed)
Q. What did the cat do after her home was broken into? A. She called claw enforcement.
Q. What’s a tomcat’s ultimate romantic goal? A. To find a nice girl cat and whisker away.
A cat is making a declaration of love to his beloved. “I’d die for you!” he tells her. She looks back at him skeptically and replies, “Oh yeah? How many times?”
Q. What do cats do after having an argument? A. Hiss and make up.
Q. Why don’t cats mind when someone copies them? A. Because imitation is the sincerest form of cattery.
Q. What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare play? A. Romeow and Mew-liet.
Q. What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare quote? A. “Tabby, or not tabby, that is the question.”
You’re not feline well? Do you need a purramedic?
Q: What do you call a cat sleeping in your shoe? A: Puss in boots.
Live long and pawspurr
Q: What did the cat say when his friend asked if he was lying? A: I’m not kitten you.
No wonder he has such cattitude.