Computer Jokes > Text Jokes
We’ll we’ll we’ll…if it isn’t autocorrect.
Person 1: Hey Rachyl, do you remember me? Person 2: Wrong number. Person 1: What’s your number then?
Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her? Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and […]
Guy: I’m sorry. I hate when we fight cuz I really like you too and wanna be with you too and everytime we fight I feel like I’m gonna make u lose all the feelings u have for me and I don’t want that cuz I like when you like me back. Girl: I love […]
Mom: How make chicken Daughter: What? Mom: Where buy chicken Daughter: Mom, this isn’t Google. Mom: Avocado
Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it? Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry. Daughter: Dad… Daughter: Dad… Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
I saw a driver texting and driving. It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.
“I feel like carp today” “Yeah, you look a little fishy”
“I am hungary.” “Maybe you should czech the fridge.” “I’m russian to the kitchen.” “Is there any turkey?” “We have some, but it’s covered in greece” “ew, there’s norway I’d eat that!”
Anyone who thinks “talk is cheap”… obviously didn’t pay my daughter’s last mobile phone bill!
The guy who invented predictive text died last night. His funfair is next monkey.
The guy who invented auto-correct for smart phones passed away today. Restaurant in peace.
Q: What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? A: Dead Siri-ous
Q: Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? A: It lost its contacts.
You know you’re texting too much when… You type ppl instead of people in a letter.
You know you’re texting too much when… …you try to text, but you’re on a landline.
You know you’re texting too much when… …you’re happy when you get stopped at a red light.
You know you’re texting too much when… …you say LOL in real life, instead of just laughing.