Q: Why did they couple get hitched on the 24 of December?
A: So they could have a married Christmas
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Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: A wrapper!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
Q: What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.
Q: What are the best books to read during the holidays?
A: The Lord of the Five Golden Rings
No Country for Old Menorahs
For Whom the Jingle Bells Toll
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret Santas
Frankincense and … Read More
Q. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed?
A. Cookie sheets!
Q: Why did the children call St. Nick “Santa Caus”?
A: Because there was Noël.
People act like the North Pole and the South Pole are exactly the same, but really, there’s a whole world of difference between them.
I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”