Funny Quotes

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Despite All His Rage…

Billy Corgan, the lead singer of the rock band Smashing Pumpkins, on the perils of life as a rock star: “I’ve moved on to other things. Obviously I love rock ’n’ roll, and I love music, but it’s nice to be in a world like professional wrestling, where I’m treated like a normal person.”

From Rolling Stone

Fractured Fairy Tales

• There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She got her own TLC show. The end. —Ryan Anderson 


• I have never worked out the moral to Humpty Dumpty. Is it, “Don’t let horses perform medical procedures”?  —Ricky Gervais


• Cinderella’s 
fairy godmother turned her rags into a gown, mice into horses, and 
a pumpkin into endless lattes for her and her BFFs to enjoy.
• Old McDonald was dyslexic, 
I-E-I-E-O.  —Billy Connolly


• And every six months, she would trade in her aging sheep for a new one. Because without a little lamb, Mary didn’t know who she was.    —@andrewhibbard


• My wife said she wanted 
a “fairy-tale romance,” so I’ve locked her in a tower. —@tonycowards

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