Knock-Knock Jokes

Ho-ho who?

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Ho-ho.

Ho-ho who?

You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.

Santa who?

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Santa.

Santa who?

Santa email reminding you I’d be here, and you STILL make me wait in the cold!

Ya

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Ya.

Ya who?

I’m excited to see you too!

Robin

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you! Hand over your cash!

Police

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Police.

Police who?

Police hurry—I’m freezing out here!

Otto

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Otto.

Otto who?

Otto know what’s taking you so long!

Noah

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Noah.

Noah who?

Noah any place I can get a bite to eat?

Needle

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Needle.

Needle who?

Needle little help gettin’ in the door.

Nana

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Nana.

Nana who?

Nana your business who’s there.

Luke

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole to see!

Ketchup

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!

Justin

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Justin.

Justin who?

Justin the neighborhood and thought I’d come over.

Isabelle

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Isabelle.

Isabelle who?

Isabelle working, or should I keep knocking?

Goat

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Goat.

Goat who?

Goat to the door to see who’s knocking!

Dozen

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Dozen.

Dozen who?

Dozen anyone want to let me in?

Dishes

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes a nice place you got here.

Cash

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

I didn’t realize you were some kind of nut!

Boo Hoo

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Boo hoo.

Boo hoo who?

Aww, don’t cry—it’s just a joke.

Ben

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Ben.

Ben who?

Ben knocking for 20 minutes!

Avenue

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Avenue.

Avenue who?

Avenue knocked on this door before?

Alpaca

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Alpaca.

Alpaca who?

Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!

Heidi

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Heidi.
Heidi who?
Heidi ‘cided to come over to play!

Howl

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know it’s really me unless you open the door?

Wendy

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy bell works again I won’t have to knock anymore.

Will

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you just open the door already?

Ice Cream

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN!

Figs

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell, it’s not working!

Alex

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Hey, Alex the questions around here!

Annie

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body going to open the door already?

From

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
From.
From who?
Actually, grammatically speaking you should say “from whom.”

Radio

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!
—Contributed by Diane Page

Witches

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Witches.
Witches who?
Witches the way home?
—Contributed by Caroline Joyce

Amos

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!
—Contributed by Laurie Callier

Weevil

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Weevil
Weevil who?
Weevil weevil rock you.
—Contributed by Lubna Wali

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