Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.
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It’s easier to remember your age if you don’t change it every year.
I’ve never enjoyed my surprise birthday parties because all I can think about is how good my friends are at lying to my face.
Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job.
Q: How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
A: They relish the moment.
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know.
Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake.
The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.