Q: What is the Native American word for vegetarian?
A: "Poor hunter!"
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I have removed all the food from the house. It was delicious
I wish I hated pizza as much as pizza hates me.
Why spend $80 on a swimsuit when you can buy 320 chicken nuggets.
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
Trail mix is just an inconvenient way to eat M&Ms.
Q: Why go to the paint store when you’re on a diet?
A: You can get thinner there.
The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like, “What are you doing here? You’re done.”
Why are most horses in shape? Because they are on a stable diet.