During a summer ranch tour we were hosting for an elder hostel, our van passed a pasture with a windmill and a herd of cattle around a stock tank.
A lady on the tour said, “Oh, look! This rancher put up a fan to cool the animals!”
Steve, a lonely bachelor, wants some company, so he buys a centipede and a small box for it to live in. That evening, he decides to go out.
"Want to grab a drink?" he asks the centipede. But there's no answer from the box. A few minutes later, he asks again—still no reply. Finally, he hollers, "Hey! Do you want to get a drink?"
"I heard you the first time!" says a small, irritated voice. "I'm putting on my shoes!"