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Q. How does a computer get drunk?
A. It takes screenshots.
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I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone.
“Can I safely look at a picture
of the sun?”
“How can I be sure I’m the real mom of my kid?”
“How do you get spaghetti
stains out of underwear?”
• If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating?
• What is the sound of no hands texting?
• If nobody likes your selfie, what is the value of the self?
• To see a man’s true face, look to the
photos he hasn’t posted.
“I am hungary.”
“Maybe you should czech the fridge.”
“I’m russian to the kitchen.”
“Is there any turkey?”
“We have some, but it’s covered in greece”
“ew, there’s norway I’d eat that!”
As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
Phil Noyes, Yakima, Washington
Did you hear about the cell phones that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was terrific.
It was my friend’s first camping trip with her husband, and they were lost. He tried all the usual tactics to determine direction—moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was overcast), and so on. Just as she began… Read More
I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. “If you can answer one question,” a young man said, “you’ll win ten free dance lessons.”
Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued. “You’ll be a lucky winner … Read More