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Q. Why does yogurt love going to museums?
A. Because it's cultured.
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And your life's about to get more interesting.
I was going to grow an herb garden, but I couldn’t find the thyme.
My granddaughter told me,
“Don’t buy brown eggs; they’re not ripe yet.”
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
I went to a seafood restaurant and slipped. I pulled a mussel.
Q: What do you do when life gives you melons?
A: See a doctor, because you’re probably dyslexic.
Q: How do you get a hipster to eat a hot dog?
A: Put it in a man bun.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi