Q: Where does Santa stay when he’s on vacation?
A: At a Ho-ho-ho-tel.
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Q: What’s Santa’s favorite song by the Ramones?
A: Blitzen-krieg Bop.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
A: It needed to be trimmed.
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?
A: Looks like rain, dear!
Q: What do you call Santa’s helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: How is the alphabet different on Christmas than any other day?
A: On Christmas, it has Noel.
Q: How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
A; He was hooked on trees his whole life
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
Patrick McLellan (@pmclellan)